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Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship Paperback – March 10, 2004


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Frequently Bought Together

Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship + But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships + In Love and In Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships
Price for all three: $37.25

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (March 10, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316735523
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316735520
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #775,279 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

After her teenage daughter was killed by a boyfriend in 1986, Crompton set out to educate the public about teen dating violence. Along the way, she met magazine writer Kessner, whose own daughter had been murdered as an adult. This earnest, impassioned book, a product of their friendship and collaboration, illuminates the problems of dangerous relationships by describing their characteristics, mapping out warning signs of abuse and offering sound advice for parents seeking to empower their daughters. The authors interviewed psychologists, counselors and girls who have had violent boyfriends; the girls' stories, as well as first-person accounts from parents and abusive boyfriends, are woven throughout the text. Many of the stories are heartbreaking: Vasso's boyfriend put her in a coma for six months when he tried to strangle her; the father of Kaisha's child beat her repeatedly and ultimately raped her. Crompton and Kessner are at their best when giving specific guidance to parents, such how to spot boyfriends who are too controlling and telltale changes in girls' behavior, as well as how to help daughters plan safe breakups from violent boys. As social science, the book is weaker. Some of the authors' statements-like the claim that "many" girls are becoming victims of violence "earlier and earlier" in relationships, or that for most teens, abuse is a "dating fact of life"-beg for supporting numbers. But whether or not the phenomenon is on the rise matters little when such abuse exists, and this book serves as both fervent friend and practical coach to parents whose daughters may be facing abuse.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Crompton offers hard-won advice: her daughter lost her life to an angry boyfriend. There's big interest in this book.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

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It may even save a life!
Janet B. Walker
A very important book that should be mandatory reading for all educators, especially in middle schools, high schools, and colleges.
Rejoice!
Had Ms. Crompton's daughter lived, she would be my age.
Sh0kR0k

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 31, 2003
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I recently bought several books on abusive relationships.
My husband (a very picky reader) has read many passages out loud to me from this one.
It is filled with many examples of abusive relationships that are unbelievably similar to what we have seen. We almost feel as if the authors know the young man we are concerned about.
The book is clearly written, provides good details and ideas on how to cope.
Buy this book before your daughter gets involved with an abuser, or at least at the first signs of an abusive relationship. You want to know, as early as possible, what can be going on.
The book is worth many times what it costs..
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Rejoice! on June 23, 2007
Format: Paperback
A very important book that should be mandatory reading for all educators, especially in middle schools, high schools, and colleges. Abuse and male privilege are far too common and even accepted by so many. Saving Beauty from the Beast is very readable and compelling. All school counselors should read this book. As a former victim of domestic violence I know what an uphill battle it can be as the victim is often blamed by the police and clergy. This book is a ray of light in a dark tunnel. I am grateful to its authors.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Dr. David Chamovitz on April 16, 2003
Format: Hardcover
This book is a classic, a must for every personal family library. It's a page turner, for me a chapter turner, for I leaped from one section to another quickly seeking means for protecting my children. I now feel more acutely sensitized to the problem and better able to get a grip on some of the interventions. The authors are to be congratulated and thanked for improving our competence concerning so frightening a scenario.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Kristin J. Johnson VINE VOICE on October 25, 2004
Format: Hardcover
In a 2003 "Montel Williams" show on dating violence, Vicki Crompton, co-author of Saving Beauty From The Beast, did more than plug her book, co-written with Ellen Zelda Kessner; she told the highly personal story of her daughter Jenny's murder at the hands of boyfriend Mark Smith, and offered advice to young women and parents torn apart by callous teenage boys, adolescent angst, parent-daughter conflicts, and a culture that, as the book points out, romanticizes forbidden love, taking what you want at any cost, love that hurts, and having a boyfriend.

Crompton, hand-in-hand with parenting author Kessner, has turned her daughter's shattering, unthinkable death into a brilliant, readable book that draws on real teenagers and their parents from all backgrounds, speaking in clear, intelligent voices, articulating the myriad pressures young women today face when involved in a love that hurts. Crompton and Kressner do not make light of peer pressure, or fail to note that the very rich and the very poor of today's youth are the most at risk to become abusers, or shrink from advising parents to "back off" and accept the relationship. The personal safety plan for daughters in abusive relationships, the safety plan for daughters who have left the relationship, the ingenious suggestion of a "code word" signaling danger, are useful tools. The coda of Crompton confronting Mark Smith in prison serves as a poignant reminder and incentive for all parents of teenage girls to read and share this book with their "Beautys."
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Empty nester in NJ on November 5, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was recommended to me by a friend after I told her about my 23 year old daughter's recent with a young man. Although my daughter was not abused physically, her self-esteem and ability to make decisions crumbled under the mental abuse she suffered from her first long-term relationship. In so many little ways she recognized this guy's behaviors she became a victim of, and now regards this book as her permanent reference to help prevent her from making the same mistake with another man.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By J. Y. Baker on March 7, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you even SUSPECT that your child may be in an unhealthy relationship, please read this book! It contains so many insights that would have helped keep my daughter safe had I known. Out of ignorance we let her continue a breaking up and 'getting back together' cycle with a young man who we now know has been abusing her for almost a year. Fortunately, some friends convinced her to tell us, so we can help her get out safely, and make sure he gets the help he needs so that he doesn't do this to someone else.

Besides the many chapters for parents of abused girls, there is a chapter for parents of suspected abusers, and one for youth who suspect a friend is being abused. I feel so guilty that this has happened to my daughter, and the book addresses that as well. It also gives very practical information about how to set up safety plans, minimize the chances of his finding her new phone number, etc.

Dating abuse is so much more common than it used to be. This book is an excellent tool to help us protect our children. Every parent should know about the 'power and control spiral', the cycle of abuse, and the warning signs of potential abusers and abusive relationships, and educate their children about them as well.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By JLDBAD2 on May 31, 2010
Format: Paperback
I was in a very abusive relationship for over 7 years and felt like I could not leave. I saw the show where she was on sharing her story about her daughter and could not stop crying. I felt as if I was trapped but after reading this book and studying on abusive relationships I packed up myself and my two kids even with death threats and moved on although he still bothers me and tries to control me I have been free for 1 1/2 years now. I did not know how deep I was in and am truely convinced that if I did not read this book and look for more answers I might not be here today....
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