Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease [Hardcover]

Morton Kondracke (Author), Michael J. Fox (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 22, 2001

A deeply moving, unflinchingly honest memoir by the renowned political journalist of his extraordinary relationship with his wife, Milly, and how her battle with Parkinson's disease has transformed their lives. Morton Kondracke did not intend to marry Millicent Martinez. He intended to marry an Ivy League heiress whose connections and credentials might help his career. But Milly-a Mexican American, inner city Chicago kid and daughter of a radical labor organizer who grew up to be a dynamo-eventually captured his heart. They married, and loved and fought with each other passionately for twenty years. Then one day in 1987, Milly noticed a glitch in her handwriting; a small tremor which would lead to the shattering diagnosis of Parkinson's disease. Saving Milly is Kondracke's powerfully moving chronicle of his vital and volatile marriage; one that has endured and deepened despite the devastating physical and emotional effects of a chronic and as-yet incurable disease. It is also the inspiring, sometimes astoundingly frank story of his own transformation from careerist to caregiver and disease activist-a process that has deepened his religious faith. Finally, it is an exploration of the realities of "disease politics" in the campaign to find a cure for Parkinson's, and a passionate argument for doubling the government's minuscule investment in medical research. For any one of the million Americans with Parkinson's and their families; for anyone inspired by books like John Bayley's Elegy for Iris or Christopher Reeve's Still Me; for anyone whose religious faith has been tested by tragedy; and for anyone who loves a real-life love story, Saving Milly is unforgettable reading.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Morton Kondracke chronicles his wife's 13-year battle against Parkinson's disease with the same attention to nitty-gritty details and shrewd understanding of how power works that distinguish his political commentary. Kondracke doesn't airbrush how horrible it is to have Parkinson's (the squeamish should avoid the passages about Milly Kondracke's two rounds of deep-brain surgery), or how difficult it is to live with someone who does (the mere recitation of his caretaking activities will exhaust most readers). He provides unvarnished accounts of the battles among members of the Parkinson's Action Network and other disease activists competing for limited federal research funds, until they got real and decided to fight to double the National Institutes of Health's budget so everyone would get more money. And he refuses to offer a feel-good ending charged with false hope; the book's closing pages include a grim account of the Kondrackes' discussions about what to do if she becomes unable to swallow. (They settled on refusing the feeding tube and allowing her to starve to death, which "is not painful if the patient doesn't take liquids.") Offsetting this bleak material is a vibrant, loving, and equally candid portrait of the indomitable Millicent Martinez Kondracke, who began up-ending the admittedly self-absorbed, drivingly ambitious Kondracke's life from the moment they met in 1966. He'd planned to marry an Ivy-educated heiress who could further his career; instead he was swept away by a Mexican Jewish American firebrand who challenged authority on everything from a botched car repair to the school system's poor handling of their daughter's dyslexia. Seeing how powerful she once was, we share her anguish as she descends into disability--and her husband's hope that, despite all the current scientific projections, research will provide a breakthrough in time to save Milly. --Wendy Smith

From Publishers Weekly

The author, formerly a panelist on The McLaughlin Group and currently a columnist for Fox News, has written a deeply personal and bracingly honest account of how he and his wife, Milly, have coped with her diagnosis of Parkinson's disease. The Kondrackes met and were wed in the mid-1960s after Morton overcame his desire to marry up (Milly was a probation officer from a poor Mexican-American background). They appear to have had a stormy though loving marriage, raising two daughters. An extremely strong and powerful woman, Milly fought hard to obtain a good education for dyslexic daughter Andrea and forced her husband into treatment for alcoholism. Milly's passionate enjoyment of life made it very difficult for her, at the age of 47, to accept a doctor's opinion in 1988 that the tremors she was experiencing were the beginnings of Parkinson's disease. The Kondrackes finally came to terms with Milly's condition and began searching for a treatment. Milly underwent several operations and has had various drug therapies, but her condition continues to worsen. She is now dependent on others for physical care and can barely communicate. Kondracke provides a harrowing overview of how organizations for other diseases such as AIDS or breast cancer compete with Parkinson's advocates for badly needed research dollars. He describes his involvement with Michael J. Fox (diagnosed with Parkinson's) and Fox's political lobbying for funds. Drawing on his spiritual faith, Kondracke does his best for Milly, who is deeply depressed about her illness. He agonizes about when she will have to be fed through a tube and may no longer want to live. Photos. (June 12)Forecast: To promote his book to an audience beyond his primary D.C.-based constituency and to increase readers' awareness of Parkinson's disease, Kondracke is appearing on C-Span's Book Notes with Brian Lamb and the Today Show during the second week in June, which will help sales.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: PublicAffairs; 1st edition (May 22, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1586480375
• ISBN-13: 978-1586480370
• Product Dimensions: 1.6 x 1.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,817,909 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding and touching memoir, confession, and love story., June 20, 2001

By 

[e-mail] "[e-mail]" (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

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This review is from: Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease (Hardcover)

I was swept away by this book and read it in one sitting. For readers familiar with Morton Kondracke through his appearances on television or through his writings, this is a suprisingly warm and touching account. It is greatly to his credit that its warmth and honesty shine so clearly.

Kondracke is open, honest, and extremely candid in his assessment of his marriage and himself. Here is a man who clearly gained insight from his own therapy experiences and from the loving and constant pressure from his wife to force him to grow. For an example of how one's narcissism can gradually be overcome, this book is worth reading. But it is so much more.

One gets a vivid picture of the intimate workings of a marriage, the strengths and weaknesses of their child rearing, and the battle between career and family. One also comes away with great affection for both Morton and Milly and their deep love and devotion for each other.

But there is still more. The description of the insidious progression of Parkinson's disease, the phases of wishful thinking, despairing realization, heroic fighting, valiant perseverence, and ultimately honest recognition of where things will lead, constitute an inspiring if also discouraging saga. The direct discussion of the alternatives facing Milly and Morton as they peer into the dark future are bracing -- chilling in their implications and invigorating in their honesty and bluntness.

There is still more. The story of the politics of medical research, the duplicity of politicians, the disproportionate allocation of research resources, and even the difficulties and disagreements of the "good guys," such as the conflicts between the Fox foundation and the PAN, are wrenching for the reader. "Why can't potentially curable diseases get the resources they need?" the reader asks in frustration. It seems that only those personally touched by tragedy rise to the occasion, as is the case with politicians who are as different as Tom Harkin and Connie Mack.

Yet there is still more to this book. There is the story of love and friendship. There are friends who stand by in generous support at the times of greatest trial and others who fade away. Always there is the deep love between Morton and Milly.

Finally there is God and philosophy. I found Kondracke's "Christian Stoicism" to be very much in accord with my own views. One does the best with the hand one is dealt, asking God to help keep us strong during the ordeal. Whenever Kondracke asks God what he should be doing, God answers, "Take care of Milly." We don't often get miraculous divine intervention to take away our trials. But we can ask for and receive strength from God to deal with them in a loving and even heroic way.

Milly Kondracke is the hero of the book, but so is Mort Kondracke. So too are their friends and everyone working for the cure of Parkinson's and other degenerative diseases. The book itself is sometimes harsh, sometimes sad, sometimes infuriating, but always uplifting and inspirational.

Very highly recommended.

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book., June 4, 2001

By 

John C. Rogers (McLean, VA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease (Hardcover)

This is not a good book. It's a great book! And it is a must read for anyone who has Parkinson's in their life, be it as a victim, a relative, a friend or a caregiver. Like its author and his subject, it's also a complex book. Complex in the sense that it could be characaterized in one of several genres.

First, and foremost, this book is a love story written from a man's perspective. As a result, Kondracke shows the reader what it is like to have a type A personality filled with ambition, and to reconcile that with falling in real love with a remarkable woman.

Next, it's an autobiograhpy and a biography. The biograhpy part is easier to capture because the reader knows from the outset that he's writing about his wife. Thus, Kondracke tells us about this wonderful woman who becomes afflicted with this terrible disease. The auto-biography aspect is more subtle. Kondracke is extremly open and candid about his own short comings and neurosis, something, unfortunately, one rarely sees in Washington's leaders.

Next, it's a book about politics and the Parkinson's movement. For anyone interested in knowing how patients' rights groups fight in this town or about the history of Parkinson's in this town, Kondracke supplies amazing insights.

Lastly, this is a book about Parkinson's disease and the terrible toll it takes on the victims, families and friends. Kondracke chronicles and describes with enormous clarity the costs and destruction that millions of people with a Parkinson's connection have grown all too familar with.

If you have any interst in Parkinson's disease, get this book. Even if you don't and you want to read a great love story or a how to on politics, it's more than worth your time.

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Things We Thought We Knew, June 10, 2001

By 

Judith S. Siegel (Washington, DC USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease (Hardcover)

At mid-life we think we know that bad things happen to good people, that character counts, and that love endures. "Saving Milly" brings these truisms home in a visceral and moving account that challenges us to be better than we are.

The book operates on a number of levels. First, it is an intimate, compelling, truthful, and not always easy account of a complicated marriage, an unsparing snapshot of marriage in Washington's power circles, in this case journalism. In this is it like all intimate stories, universal and particular. The mix of the outwardly disciplined, Ivy League-educated, solidly reared author and the outspoken and idealistic wife is a grea t read.

When Parkinson's disease hits Milly, the Kondrackes' life turns upside down and the author's most basic assumptions about what is important are challenged. He dedicates his life to saving Milly day by day, discovering the depths of his love, expressing it directly to feed Milly's emotional needs and in countless gifts of phycial caring and attention.

He uses the lessons learned as a distinguished Washington and television personality to direct attention to the underfunding of Parkinson's research, thereby revealing both the cynicism of those politicians who talk the talk but don't walk the walk, and the moral high ground of others who listen and take action.

Milly is the nominal heroine but the author is the hero.

This is the rare book that will leave the reader a different person, better for the knowledge of what a good man can do when confronted with an incomprehensible challenge.