Customer Reviews

Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease

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I was swept away by this book and read it in one sitting. For readers familiar with Morton Kondracke through his appearances on television or through his writings, this is a suprisingly warm and touching account. It is greatly to his credit that its warmth and honesty shine so clearly.

Kondracke is open, honest, and extremely candid in his assessment of his marriage and himself. Here is a man who clearly gained insight from his own therapy experiences and from the loving and constant pressure from his wife to force him to grow. For an example of how one's narcissism can gradually be overcome, this book is worth reading. But it is so much more.

One gets a vivid picture of the intimate workings of a marriage, the strengths and weaknesses of their child rearing, and the battle between career and family. One also comes away with great affection for both Morton and Milly and their deep love and devotion for each other.

But there is still more. The description of the insidious progression of Parkinson's disease, the phases of wishful thinking, despairing realization, heroic fighting, valiant perseverence, and ultimately honest recognition of where things will lead, constitute an inspiring if also discouraging saga. The direct discussion of the alternatives facing Milly and Morton as they peer into the dark future are bracing -- chilling in their implications and invigorating in their honesty and bluntness.

There is still more. The story of the politics of medical research, the duplicity of politicians, the disproportionate allocation of research resources, and even the difficulties and disagreements of the "good guys," such as the conflicts between the Fox foundation and the PAN, are wrenching for the reader. "Why can't potentially curable diseases get the resources they need?" the reader asks in frustration. It seems that only those personally touched by tragedy rise to the occasion, as is the case with politicians who are as different as Tom Harkin and Connie Mack.

Yet there is still more to this book. There is the story of love and friendship. There are friends who stand by in generous support at the times of greatest trial and others who fade away. Always there is the deep love between Morton and Milly.

Finally there is God and philosophy. I found Kondracke's "Christian Stoicism" to be very much in accord with my own views. One does the best with the hand one is dealt, asking God to help keep us strong during the ordeal. Whenever Kondracke asks God what he should be doing, God answers, "Take care of Milly." We don't often get miraculous divine intervention to take away our trials. But we can ask for and receive strength from God to deal with them in a loving and even heroic way.

Milly Kondracke is the hero of the book, but so is Mort Kondracke. So too are their friends and everyone working for the cure of Parkinson's and other degenerative diseases. The book itself is sometimes harsh, sometimes sad, sometimes infuriating, but always uplifting and inspirational.

Very highly recommended.

This is not a good book. It's a great book! And it is a must read for anyone who has Parkinson's in their life, be it as a victim, a relative, a friend or a caregiver. Like its author and his subject, it's also a complex book. Complex in the sense that it could be characaterized in one of several genres.

First, and foremost, this book is a love story written from a man's perspective. As a result, Kondracke shows the reader what it is like to have a type A personality filled with ambition, and to reconcile that with falling in real love with a remarkable woman.

Next, it's an autobiograhpy and a biography. The biograhpy part is easier to capture because the reader knows from the outset that he's writing about his wife. Thus, Kondracke tells us about this wonderful woman who becomes afflicted with this terrible disease. The auto-biography aspect is more subtle. Kondracke is extremly open and candid about his own short comings and neurosis, something, unfortunately, one rarely sees in Washington's leaders.

Next, it's a book about politics and the Parkinson's movement. For anyone interested in knowing how patients' rights groups fight in this town or about the history of Parkinson's in this town, Kondracke supplies amazing insights.

Lastly, this is a book about Parkinson's disease and the terrible toll it takes on the victims, families and friends. Kondracke chronicles and describes with enormous clarity the costs and destruction that millions of people with a Parkinson's connection have grown all too familar with.

If you have any interst in Parkinson's disease, get this book. Even if you don't and you want to read a great love story or a how to on politics, it's more than worth your time.

At mid-life we think we know that bad things happen to good people, that character counts, and that love endures. "Saving Milly" brings these truisms home in a visceral and moving account that challenges us to be better than we are.

The book operates on a number of levels. First, it is an intimate, compelling, truthful, and not always easy account of a complicated marriage, an unsparing snapshot of marriage in Washington's power circles, in this case journalism. In this is it like all intimate stories, universal and particular. The mix of the outwardly disciplined, Ivy League-educated, solidly reared author and the outspoken and idealistic wife is a grea t read.

When Parkinson's disease hits Milly, the Kondrackes' life turns upside down and the author's most basic assumptions about what is important are challenged. He dedicates his life to saving Milly day by day, discovering the depths of his love, expressing it directly to feed Milly's emotional needs and in countless gifts of phycial caring and attention.

He uses the lessons learned as a distinguished Washington and television personality to direct attention to the underfunding of Parkinson's research, thereby revealing both the cynicism of those politicians who talk the talk but don't walk the walk, and the moral high ground of others who listen and take action.

Milly is the nominal heroine but the author is the hero.

This is the rare book that will leave the reader a different person, better for the knowledge of what a good man can do when confronted with an incomprehensible challenge.

"Saving Milly" is one of those rare self revelatory books that also contain a deeply passonate message for all to heed. For most of us, "In sickness and in health" are words avowed with no real snse of what they may mean. Morton Kondracke invites, cajoles and reveals to us the essence of what these words hold. Touchingly told, "Saving Milly" also contains a message about the reality of medical funding in America, or perhaps I should say, the reality of the lack of it, and urges all of us to become advocates for what we beleive in: love, commitment and passion for our particular cause. As we read this book, we too will be moved to help tilt the world in a slightly better direction. And in the process, perhaps, we will remember to reach into our own souls and tederly touch those whom we deeply love.

This a hard-hitting succinct look at parkinson's disease, its effect on those it imprisons, and the courage and committment of their family and loved ones. Martin Krondracke opens the door to his life with his beloved wife, Millicent who used to be a vibrant, outspoken, powerful being, - a source of his strength. Now she has parkinson's disease and he gives us a detailed account of the drastic changes in their existence. He writes with in-depth clarity and precision, and we join him in hope for a cure in time to save this valiant lady, and so many others now afflicted. Surely somewhere a team of brilliant scientists and physicians can marshall their resources and focus more diligently on a cure for this disease. Taut and heart-breaking, this book is about true grit! Thus far, three books of this magnitude have recently surfaced. All address what loyalty, committment, courage and love between two people can be when they choose to face life's challenges together. When you finish this book, try reading "John Adams", about John and Abigail Adams by author John McCullough; and then look at "I Love You Ronnie" by Nancy Reagan. Three enlightening and different perspectives.

This is 'Tuesdays with Morrie' with a political twist. You will not be able to put it down. Morton pours his emotions out on to every single page and spares nothing to tell this amazing story about an amazing woman named Millie. Somehow, Morton makes it both heartwarming and heartbreaking. The best book I've read in years. If you don't bring this on your summer vacation, you will be VERY sorry.

Morton Kondracke's book moved me with his brutally honest expression of every feeling he has experienced since he met Millicent Martinez, and his journey through the abyss of Parkinson's with her. He holds back nothing and in so doing, reveals all the emotions, predominantly hope but also, her despair at times. It is a sobering story, especially to anyone, like myself, who is also an early onset Parkinsonian.

Lots of books claim to be "inspirational." This is the real deal, because it walks you right through hell, and yet makes you feel the better for the journey.

Morton Kondracke, a very savvy, power-player-journalist, writes "up close and personal" about two subjects you might ordinarily choose to stay away from: how Washington decides what diseases get research funding; and life with Parkinson's disease. You witness a husband watch his lovely, vivacious wife slip deep into Parkinson's clutches, taking her ability to move, work, care for herself, even speak. It changes their enviable life forever and turns an ambitious, ever-moderate political commentator-on-the-sidelines into a research funding zealot who almost has his press pass taken away.

But neither topic is the central one. This book is really all about the power of love, and that makes it a great can't-put-it-down read, the kind that makes you forget where you are or what time it is.

It firs!t gets your attention with its ruthless honesty. Mort rips his own ego and vanity, built up by his life with the country's political celebrities. He nails famous politicians he feels were not courageous enough in fighting for Parkinson's research. And he describes in brutal detail his current life as "Parkinson's caregiver" -- doing the thankless tasks Milly no longer can do for herself, struggling to even understand her speech. The last chapter will break your heart, making you pray that the cure comes soon to rescue her, so their plans for the end will not come true.

And then, you realize you have witnessed a modern-day miracle. While Mort comes across as a doer, rather than preacher or philosopher, his story makes the phrase "in sickness and in health" come alive. Through his eyes and heart, you see the true Milly, undiminished, the woman he loves more now because that love has been tested and has endured. In this age of "Sex and the City," that IS miraculous.
<b!r>Trust me. Get this book and read it now. It will be memorable. It might even change your life.

Morton Kondrake's book is about much more than his wife Milly's Parkinson's disease. It's also about their life together, their marriage, the differences that caused friction between them, Kondrake's struggles in his career and those to overcome his own weaknesses, including, for a time, alcoholism. What emerges is a story of quiet heroism, both his and Milly's, as she defies the odds and continues to prove that her will to live is greater than her despair. Kondrake also writes about the politics of research and fundraising for various diseases, and how some diseases have more cache than others, even if the disease garnering more print and air time afflicts far fewer people than other devastating ailments. This may not come as a shock to people but it is still important so that we can all do what we can to campaign to make disease research and funding more equitable.

I was most touched by Kondrake's unsparingly honest account of his own shortcomings as a man, a husband, and father, and how Milly, and eventually, her Parkinson's disease, made him grow into a far greater man than he was before. The fact that this is a true account makes this book very significant, and more moving than any fiction could be. It's impossible not to read it without tears.

I had known Milly Kondracke for a quarter of a century before her death last year of Parkinson's disease. She was my mentor. Morton's memoir of their marriage is touching, well-written and a quick read.

My only regret is that Morton glossed over Milly's wonderful gift as a social worker/therapist in a paragraph, for that was her career identity. Milly did her own mourning when she had to cease her private practice due to her illness. Still the book gives you a taste of her personality, one of those persons who were larger than life.

"Saving Milly" achingly illustrates the struggle of a family who must care for a loved one through a long term illness and raises the question of politics, funding and ethics for those with incurable illnesses. I highly recommend this book.