Customer Reviews

Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As a divorced person, I have often felt like there are many books written about marriage, but few that deal with the specific issues that I can only imagine affect second marriages. Not content with reading just another book about the general subject of marriage, and not really wanting to read another book about divorce, I was very pleased to be given this book on remarriage. After reading through it, I feel so much more confident now about my ability to enter a second marriage and not be trapped by fears and insecurities that resulted from my first. I feel much more able now to look objectively at the areas I still need to heal and grow in. Praise God for the careful work of Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott in addressing this seldom-addressed issue. I HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who is divorced, even if they haven't yet addressed the possibility of remarriage in their life. [Edit on Jan 10, 2008, about six years after the original review!]: I have come to not necessarily agree with everything that the authors write in this book. But I did find it extremely helpful at the time I read it and wrote this review.]

As a pastor of over 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrotts' books are the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.

This volume adds additioanl material to address the compexities of a Blended Family. Although blended family issues cannot be dealt with thoroughly, the Parrotts share the most important considerations (and offer other resource suggestions on page 186, footnote 6).

I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.

Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book. Couples already married (even for years) will find this material valuable as well (and will kick themselves for not having read it earlier).

Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage and the additional complexities of bringing children into a new blended family. This is practical, hands on material.

The book is arranged around 9 questions: Are you ready to get married again? Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? Do you know how to blend a family? and Are you and your partner soul mates? This is basically the 7 questions from "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" with two additional questions added to tackle a blended family, thus, "Saving Your SECOND Marriage..."

Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.

If a couple follows the exercises by purchasing the workbooks, (like identifying some of your own personal "commandments"--rules you live by that you picked up who knows where and expect your spouse to know and agree with), it could preclude many potential tensions later.

To those of you considering a second marriage, go through this book together, and cosider at least some of the exercises in the workbooks. To pastors and Christian counselors, I urge you to read this volume and consider using it!

My soon-to-be husband and I used this series as our premarital counselling guide and found it to be well-designed, practical (without being so full of pseudo-psychiatry that it felt fake.) The suggestions of topics that should be considered prompted some of the deepest discussions we had. We are both convinced that finding this resource was a blessing.

Several years after my divorce became final, I started dating a divorced guy. Long story short: we're remarried and blending a family.

This book is one of three or four books about remarriage that I read before actually agreeing to get married again. It is helpful and useful; I found myself skipping around within the sections and not reading every word.

I've since found another book by these authors with almost the same title. I actually like the other book better. The title is the same, without "Second" in the language. I think the other book "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" is actually stronger than this one.

Buy either one, with our without "Second" in the title. Both are helpful.

Lauren Hodge
Apple Valley, California

I also highly recommend this book:
Happily Remarried: Making Decisions Together * Blending Families Successfully * Building a Love That Will Last

This is the best book out there for those wanting to learn from mistakes and do things differently next time! My fiance and I both agree we will keep it and remind ourselves of key points in the book. The experience of the authors comes through clearly and their advice is practical. We have already shared the book with family and friends. I wish someone had given me this book (or the one for first marriages) many years ago!

I bought this book many years ago and gave it away so I had to purchase another copy. The workbooks that go with it are also wonderful. I use this book for teaching on marriage (I am a pastor), and my husband and I used this book prior to our marriage (we were both previously married). The information in this book is very accurate and helpful in avoiding future problems in your marriage - my husband and I have referred back to its information many times. You won't go wrong in purchasing this book.

I feel that this is probably one of the most important books to be read not only by those considering re-marrying, but for any person preparing for their first marriage. Too much time is spent getting ready for the wedding day, and much too little time preparing for the journey of daily married life.
Thousands of dollars are spent on weddings. I recommend that anyone even thinking of marriage, spend a few dollars to buy this book. You will be ever the wiser and richer for it!

This is a great book for those getting married again. It brings up the questions that should be dealt with in second marriages to ensure that they last. Well written with good illustrations.

Wow! What a great book. Make sure you get the workbooks. Without them, you will miss out on the power of this book. Our church had a premarrital class that my boyfriend and I attended where we read this book. We met in high school and reunited 20 years later (2 years ago). There were so many questions I needed to ask him, but couldn't find a way to bring them up in conversation. This book was a great spring board for those questions and more. We were able to get through the rough questions, the rough spots and learn we could trust each other talking about our past marriages, feeling about our kids, our doubts and our fears. I would recommend this book to anyone exploring the possibility of getting married. They have a CD that was great for the group instruction also.

This is a great book. I've been married 3 times and am in a serious relationship currently. I really want to have a relationship that works, but obviously there is something I'm doing wrong. This book has given me tips to not only be a better partner, but to be a better person.