Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry [Hardcover]

Les Parrott III (Author), Leslie Parrott (Author)

Book Description

Series: And After You Marry | Publication Date: May 21, 1995

Are you tired of marriage books that sound like they were written thirty years ago? Do you want real, honest advice from a couple who knows the hopes and struggles of today's couples? Do you want to build a marriage that will last a lifetime? Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is the first comprehensive marriage preparation program specifically designed for today's couples. And it's the first program for couples developed by a couple. And Les Leslie Parrott are no ordinary couple. As marriage counselors and teachers, they're on the cutting edge of marriage research and education. Each year they teach a blockbuster relationships course to hundred of college students They see the struggles and dreams of couples up close. And they reveal the flaws and foibles of their own relationship in order to show how challenging--and rewarding -- marriage can be. Most importantly, however, Les and Leslie Parrott share a dream: to equip couples in their twenties and thirties to prepare for lifelong marriage before it even starts. They know from experience that many couples spend more time preparing for their wedding than they do for marriage. Having tasted firsthand the difficulties of 'wedding bell blues,' they show young couples the skills they need to make the transition from 'single' to 'married' smooth and enjoyable. Whether you're contemplating marriage, engaged, or newly married, Les and Leslie will lead you through the thorniest spot in establishing a relationship. You'll learn how to uncover and deal with problems before they emerge. You'll discover how to communicate, not just talk. And you'll learn the importance of becoming 'soul mates' -- a couple committed to growing together spiritually. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is more than a book -- it's practically a premarital counseling session! Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men's and women's workbooks full of self-tests and exercises will help you apply what you learn. And the Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts video curriculum will help you to learn and grow with other couples who are dealing with the same struggles and questions. So start today, while your love is fresh. Save your marriage -- before it starts.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Are you tired of marriage books that sound like they were written thirty years ago? Do you want real, honest advice from a couple who knows the hopes and struggles of today's couples? Do you want to build a marriage that will last a lifetime? Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is the first comprehensive marriage preparation program specifically designed for today's couples. And it's the first program for couples developed by a couple. And Les Leslie Parrott are no ordinary couple. As marriage counselors and teachers, they're on the cutting edge of marriage research and education. Each year they teach a blockbuster relationships course to hundred of college students They see the struggles and dreams of couples up close. And they reveal the flaws and foibles of their own relationship in order to show how challenging--and rewarding -- marriage can be. Most importantly, however, Les and Leslie Parrott share a dream: to equip couples in their twenties and thirties to prepare for lifelong marriage before it even starts. They know from experience that many couples spend more time preparing for their wedding than they do for marriage. Having tasted firsthand the difficulties of "wedding bell blues," they show young couples the skills they need to make the transition from "single" to "married" smooth and enjoyable. Whether you're contemplating marriage, engaged, or newly married, Les and Leslie will lead you through the thorniest spot in establishing a relationship. You'll learn how to uncover and deal with problems before they emerge. You'll discover how to communicate, not just talk. And you'll learn the importance of becoming "soul mates" -- a couple committed to growing together spiritually. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is more than a book -- it's practically a premarital counseling session! Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men's and women's workbooks full of self-tests and exercises will help you apply what you learn. And the Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts video curriculum will help you to learn and grow with other couples who are dealing with the same struggles and questions. So start today, while your love is fresh. Save your marriage -- before it starts.

About the Author

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. SPANISH BIO: Les y Leslie forman un equipo como marido y mujer, y son expertos avanzados en los asuntos concernientes a las relaciones personales. Muestran sus experiencias como padres con el objetivo de ayudarte a cumplir la vocacion mas grande de u vida.

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Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Hardcover: 160 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan (May 21, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310492408
• ISBN-13: 978-0310492405
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (75 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #279,369 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.

The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, and Crazy Good Sex.

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.

The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.

Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

88 of 89 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book on Marital, Interpersonal Relationships!!!, January 18, 2002

By 

David R. Bess (Charleston, WV) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry (Hardcover)

Having counseled many couples in 20 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for persons to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!

One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance the relationship with his/her "significant other." The Parrotts also have video tapes available to use in a seminar or as part of pre-marital or post-marital counseling. This book is definitely one to own!

108 of 111 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Marriage Preparation Book, December 10, 2003

By 

Edward J. Vasicek "Author, pastor, columnist" (Kokomo, IN USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry (Hardcover)

As a pastor of 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. This is the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.

I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.

Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book.

Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage. This is practical, hands on material.

The book is arranged around 7 questions: Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? and Are you and your partner soul mates?

Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.

If a couple follows the exercises by purchasing the workbooks, (like identifying some of your own personal "commandments"--rules you live by that you picked up who knows where and expect your spouse to know and agree with), it could preclude many potential tensions later.

This book could also be used as a marriage enrichment manual. Indeed, many couples (perhaps most) have probably failed to incorporate these solid principles. Indeed, several couples I counseled have identified this exercise as having made a significant difference in their marriages.

To those of you considering marriage, go through this book together, and cosider at least some of the exercises in the workbooks. To pastors and Christian counselors, I urge you to read this volume and consider using it!

68 of 68 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A great resource for marriage problem prevention, May 28, 2004

By 

Kevin A. Decker "Relationship Author, Educato... (Charlotte, NC) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry (Hardcover)

As an Author, Coach, and Motivational Speaker I read a lot of books about people, their motivations, and their relationships. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is an honest, straight forward, and personal journey to a healthy marriage. It's an excellent relationship book and I give it an A+.

The Parrott's share their personal relationship journey with all the challenges, confusion, and celebration that a relationship can bring. They ask and explore seven powerful questions and illustrate them with their experiences with each. They then provide practical solutions that you can implement to help you create, improve, and enhance your marriage.

The seven questions are:

1. Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty?
Happily ever after only comes with working on your marriage.

2. Can you identify your love style?
We each give and receive love differently. Is your partner actually hearing the I Love You's you send their way?

3. Have you developed the habit of happiness?
I loved their line about the right attitude in spite of atmospheric conditions.

4. Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear?
Too many times we talk around the problem and then only hear our preconceived notions about the responses we receive.

5. Have you bridged the gender gap?
Men and Women are different! If you don't get a clue about how and why you're in for a hard, hard time of it.

6. Do you know how to fight a good fight?
Skip the theatrics, defensiveness, and low-blows. Conflict in a relationship is natural and you can deal with it positively by being honest and respectful with your mate.

7. Are you and your partner soulmates?
"Tending to the spiritual dimension of marriage is what unites couples in unbreakable bonds."

I recommend you get a copy of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts whether you're single, engaged, or married. It will prepare you for a great relationship that lasts a lifetime.