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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry Hardcover – May 21, 1995


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Product Details

  • Series: And After You Marry
  • Hardcover: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan (May 21, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310492408
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310492405
  • Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (131 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #594,626 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Are you tired of marriage books that sound like they were written thirty years ago? Do you want real, honest advice from a couple who knows the hopes and struggles of today's couples? Do you want to build a marriage that will last a lifetime? Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is the first comprehensive marriage preparation program specifically designed for today's couples. And it's the first program for couples developed by a couple. And Les Leslie Parrott are no ordinary couple. As marriage counselors and teachers, they're on the cutting edge of marriage research and education. Each year they teach a blockbuster relationships course to hundred of college students They see the struggles and dreams of couples up close. And they reveal the flaws and foibles of their own relationship in order to show how challenging--and rewarding -- marriage can be. Most importantly, however, Les and Leslie Parrott share a dream: to equip couples in their twenties and thirties to prepare for lifelong marriage before it even starts. They know from experience that many couples spend more time preparing for their wedding than they do for marriage. Having tasted firsthand the difficulties of "wedding bell blues," they show young couples the skills they need to make the transition from "single" to "married" smooth and enjoyable. Whether you're contemplating marriage, engaged, or newly married, Les and Leslie will lead you through the thorniest spot in establishing a relationship. You'll learn how to uncover and deal with problems before they emerge. You'll discover how to communicate, not just talk. And you'll learn the importance of becoming "soul mates" -- a couple committed to growing together spiritually. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is more than a book -- it's practically a premarital counseling session! Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men's and women's workbooks full of self-tests and exercises will help you apply what you learn. And the Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts video curriculum will help you to learn and grow with other couples who are dealing with the same struggles and questions. So start today, while your love is fresh. Save your marriage -- before it starts.

About the Author

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. SPANISH BIO: Les y Leslie forman un equipo como marido y mujer, y son expertos avanzados en los asuntos concernientes a las relaciones personales. Muestran sus experiencias como padres con el objetivo de ayudarte a cumplir la vocacion mas grande de u vida.

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Customer Reviews

I highly recommend this book, but do yourself a favor and buy the workbooks with it.
Monty Rainey
This book gave us a way to make sense of our thoughts, in an easy non-judgmental and open way.
M. Parrott
This book along with the workbook is a great tool for preparing couples for marriage.
Shon Ramey

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

96 of 96 people found the following review helpful By Kevin A. Decker on May 28, 2004
Format: Hardcover
As an Author, Coach, and Motivational Speaker I read a lot of books about people, their motivations, and their relationships. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is an honest, straight forward, and personal journey to a healthy marriage. It's an excellent relationship book and I give it an A+.
The Parrott's share their personal relationship journey with all the challenges, confusion, and celebration that a relationship can bring. They ask and explore seven powerful questions and illustrate them with their experiences with each. They then provide practical solutions that you can implement to help you create, improve, and enhance your marriage.
The seven questions are:
1. Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty?
Happily ever after only comes with working on your marriage.
2. Can you identify your love style?
We each give and receive love differently. Is your partner actually hearing the I Love You's you send their way?
3. Have you developed the habit of happiness?
I loved their line about the right attitude in spite of atmospheric conditions.
4. Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear?
Too many times we talk around the problem and then only hear our preconceived notions about the responses we receive.
5. Have you bridged the gender gap?
Men and Women are different! If you don't get a clue about how and why you're in for a hard, hard time of it.
6. Do you know how to fight a good fight?
Skip the theatrics, defensiveness, and low-blows. Conflict in a relationship is natural and you can deal with it positively by being honest and respectful with your mate.
7. Are you and your partner soulmates?
"Tending to the spiritual dimension of marriage is what unites couples in unbreakable bonds."
I recommend you get a copy of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts whether you're single, engaged, or married. It will prepare you for a great relationship that lasts a lifetime.
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103 of 104 people found the following review helpful By David R. Bess VINE VOICE on January 18, 2002
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Having counseled many couples in 20 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for persons to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!
One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.
I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance the relationship with his/her "significant other." The Parrotts also have video tapes available to use in a seminar or as part of pre-marital or post-marital counseling. This book is definitely one to own!
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114 of 119 people found the following review helpful By Edward J. Vasicek on December 10, 2003
Format: Hardcover
As a pastor of 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. This is the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.
I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.
Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book.
Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage. This is practical, hands on material.
The book is arranged around 7 questions: Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? and Are you and your partner soul mates?
Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.
Read more ›
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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Betty McBee on March 28, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I am writing from a different perspective than most of the reviewers. I am in my 70's and have been married for 36 years, so I know something about the pressures experienced in marriage. I also have a book store and have seen lots of books on marriage. I found this to be one of the best. The Parrotts have covered most of the problems a couple will face, and have given excellent help in solving these problems.
I suppose the book has limited application to singles except as they are anticipating and preparing for life together as a married couple. The point is to be prepared for what you will face AFTER you are married.
The last chapter may be offensive to some, but my personal experience says it is just as valid as the rest of the book. I'm not sure my marriage would have survived had it not been for our shared faith. At any rate, don't throw out the whole book just because you don't agree with a small part.
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