Saving Millie; a daughter's story of surviving her mother's schizophrenia [Paperback]

Tina Kotulski (Author)

Book Description

For Tina Kotulski, daughter of a mentally ill mother, surviving the bizarre landscape of schizophrenia came at a price. Her traumatic childhood, overshadowed by her mother's unpredictable and often abusive behavior, led Tina to attempt suicide as an adolescent. Consequently seperated from her mother, she remained "invisible", unaware of the vast number of Daughters and Sons who have shared similar experiences. Now, twenty-five years later, armed with a hard-won understanding of her mother's condition, Tina has confronted the family's terrifying past in her new book Saving Millie: A Daughter's Story of Surviving Her Mother's Schizophrenia. Using humor and first-person narration, the author draws an intimate portrait of life with her mother, Millie, whose severe schizophrenia went undiagnosed for nearly twenty years, despite numerous contacts with mental health professionals. Unlike other books of its type, Tina's story calls for the urgent transformation of the current standard of psychiatric care, not only for afflicted individuals, but also for families and communities. An advocate for families with mental illness, Tina is convinced that this story is not solely her own. It's the story of millions who have grown up in unpredictable situations and survived despite the odds. She brings hope to others enduring the ordeal of mental illness.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Tina Kotulski has transformed tragedy and frustration into triumph and healing. This book is a very welcome addition to the resources available to families dealing with schizophrenia and a broken health care system. It is an opportunity to learn and gain support from somone who has been there. More important, it gives hope and by example, guidance to others who are dealing with seriously mentally ill loved ones who do not belive they are ill. I highly reccomend it." --Xavier Amador, Ph.d. Author of, I am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help

"Tina, along with her mother Millie and sister Susan, recieved the National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare's 2006 Award for Excellence in Consumer and Family Support. The award honors those who use their personal experiences to help others struggling to live with and recover from mental illness. In this book, Tina shares her family's story, providing hope not only to individuals experiencing a mental illness, but to all those who love and support them. It is a powerful story that's as inspirational as it is moving." --Linda Rosenberg, MSW, CSW; President and CEO; National Council for Community and Behavioral Healthcare

"Tina Kotulski's Saving Millie is a compelling journey into the special world mothers and daughters inhabit--a remarkable tale of madness, survival, and devotion. It is a searing portrait of family life that is as heart breaking as it is heart warming." --Jay Neugeboren, author, Imagining Robert, Transforming Madness

From the Publisher

Extraordinary Voices Press is striving to meet the needs of families and adult children of parents with psychiatric disabilities.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 248 pages
• Publisher: Extraordinary Voices Press; 1st edition (November 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0977911519
• ISBN-13: 978-0977911516
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #542,962 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Heartbreakingly Real, January 11, 2007

By 

Jennifer C. Johnson "ocean71" (Maine USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Millie; a daughter's story of surviving her mother's schizophrenia (Paperback)

The author captured so well the joy and pain associated with a family member w/ a chronic mental illness. Having first hand knowledge of what that is like, I applaud her for relating the real story; not glossing over how horrible it can be for both the person with the illness and the family members. She also lovingly showed that despite the nightmares, stress and frustration, there is love; love that can sustain, love that can heal, and love that enables us to have hope. Wonderful book!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for social workers and those going into counseling, child psychology and the clergy, November 30, 2009

By 

R. Neil Scott "Writer, Professor & User Servi... (Murfreesboro, TN USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Millie; a daughter's story of surviving her mother's schizophrenia (Paperback)

Ignore the pink and grey cover and the pink rose -- this is a memoir that should have a picture of a burned-out house on the cover and be required reading for those in social work, elementary school teaching and counseling. The author, Tina Kotulski, describes growing up with a mother who is a paranoid schizophrenic and details how her mental illness scarred her, her father and her sister.

Her mother Millie was a bright, attractive woman whose behavior deteriorated around the age of 25; soon after the birth of her first daughter. Her husband soon left and their two daughters were left to be cared for by this now mentally ill woman who was incapable of taking care of herself, never mind two beautiful little girls.

Tina Koyulski tells the story of what happened after the father left. The verbal and physical abuse, the loss of financial support, of how they learned to live with rarely -- if ever -- hearing the words "I love you." It's a harsh reality for all concerned, but impressive in that both girls somehow survived and managed to move forward to successful lives.

The most interesting part of the story is her description of how Tina found herself -- as a child -- trying to alter her own moods, behavior and beliefs to make her mother's irrational behavior true and accurate. If her mother was thinking that others were spying on them and listening to their conversations, then -- to gain her mother's love and acceptance -- she would believe her and act as if it were true. This offers readers a better explanation as to why children involved in families where the caregiver is an alcoholic, drug addict or is mentally ill, cannot "let go" and accurately describe to social workers, the police or others exactly what is going on in their world. Or, why they fear and attack those outside the family who try to save them from their circumstances.

There's an honesty to this story and the photographs that accompanies it that is seldom found in books by and about survivors. The visual descriptions ring true and the emotional depth make one feel sorrow for the many thousands of children who deal with such parents who are not only unable to care for them, but treat them horribly. The author's sister, Susan Smiley, became a documentary filmmaker and spend several years making a documentary about the family titled "Out of the Shadow." While this reviewer has not had the opportunity to view the film, a search on the internet reveals very positive reviews.

Tina Kotulski's book is highly recommended to faculty as a supplemental text for students who intending to work in any of the "helping professions": nursing, sociology, social work, counseling, psychology and police science. Also, it's a well-written and worthy addition to public library and college/university library collections.

R. Neil Scott
Middle Tennessee State University

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book, July 7, 2008

By 

Bwana Botswana "African Queen" (Oakfield NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Saving Millie; a daughter's story of surviving her mother's schizophrenia (Paperback)

Thank you for a in depth book about schitzophrenia. I have suffered from depression for a long time and understand the pain and agony. Thank you for writing this book for others to read and maybe understand a bit more than they did before.