6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Like reading the other person's playbook!, January 10, 2006
The author gets it right in the very first paragraph: The REAL Golden Rule isn't doing unto others what you'd have them do unto you; it's about doing unto others what THEY want done unto themselves.
Eighteen chapters cover topics from doctors to funeral directors; car salesmen to auto mechanics; realtors to general contractors. Each chapter stands on its own as a "playbook" with practical advice for dealing with common situations. Pawda teaches win-win by showing the reader how to see the world through the other person's eyes.
Read it once for the practical advice. Read it again for insight into human behavior. Read it one more time to transform how you see others.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Use These Magic Words To Succeed., January 18, 2006
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Mass Market Paperback)
This "magic words" book shows how to successfully deal with busy professionals not so much by the words we use but the way we say them. The eighteen occupations this author chose to investigate are essential to most families.
Some are necessary to parents of younger children, like nannies, teachers, pediatricians; for couples just starting out, she covers realtors, contractors, landlords. Even the adult children of elderly parents with information they should know, the needed advise on choosing nursing home and funeral directors -- which go together -- are a priority. She tells some of the things to ask and how to supervise (what to do, what not to do). "One of the most stressful aspects of placing a relative in a nursing home is the unwelcome glimpse it offers into your own possible future." She gives alternatives such as adult family homes (my sister did this for a while some years ago in Maryland), a private residence licensed to provide care for two to six individuals; it adds the personal touch as opposed to the "demoralization of institutional life." Even though "nursing homes are the second most heavily regulated industry in America (the nuclear power industry is first)," there are no guarantees. From personal experience, I'd advise it only as a last resort.
For those who own cars, she has pointers on dealing with auto mechanics and car salesmen. When dealing with local politicians, such as city council membres or even the mayor, there is a sample letter detailing how to get the best results, "with carbon copies sent to the Mayor, a local t.v. station news producer, and the editor of the local newspaper." City council members can accomplish many things, but they must work within certain limits; "prepare by clarifying what you want done."
If you need the services of a lawyer, "you will know that [by] asking why he got into law will make you one of his favorite clients." She gives pointers on hairdressers, so essential to a woman's appearance and self-confidence, and the tipping process, when it is alright not to tip.
People like doctors and therapists we all need at different stages in our lives so that they will do what they are trained to make our healthcare (physical and mental) tolerable. Some magic words to use: "Be 'concerned' instead of 'scared.' Be 'apprehensive' instead of a 'nervous wreck.' In everyday life, we tend to exaggerate to get results, but with doctors have to go to the opposite extreme. Even if you are 'in agony,' try not to use those words. Instead say, "I have a lot of discomfort."
If something about you gives these professionals the impression that you will make them fail, they will be less than likely to help you. "If they sense that they will succeed with you, they will go out of their way to return your calls, honor their agreements." This book will show you how to give them the impresssion that they will succeed. Lynette Padwa has also written EVERYTHING YOU PRETEND TO KNOW AND ARE AFRAID SOMEONE WILL ASK.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful for the Inexperienced. Yet Promises More than it Delivers., April 28, 2011
Padwa's book is a helpful guide to navigating sometimes-complicated professional situations. Yet the subtitle, "How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need," over-reaches and promised more than the book delivers.
This book offers tips on speaking to and dealing with:
- Hairdressers
- Waiters
- Desk Clerks
- Landlords
- Doctors (and Pediatricians)
- Nannies
- Teachers
- Therapist
- Realtors
- General Contractors
- Lawyers
- Local Politicians
- IRS Agents
- Car Salesmen
- Auto Mechanics
- Nursing Home Staff
- Funeral Directors
I wish she would have added: Pastors, Massage Therapists, Lawn Care Workers, Principals, Loan Officers/Bankers, Professors, and Potential Employers.
POSITIVES:
- Good examples of typical conversations between a person and specific professional.
- Helpful statistics (including pricing, etc.).
- Strategic questions to ask when dealing with a professional.
NEGATIVES:
- Very basic information.
- Many of her suggestions and observations are obvious, common sense.
- The book feels fairly disjointed from chapter to chapter, and sometimes even within a chapter.
This is a helpful book for the novice or inexperienced, but it doesn't delve as deep as you likely want it to (or as the subtitle promises).
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