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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Like reading the other person's playbook!
The author gets it right in the very first paragraph: The REAL Golden Rule isn't doing unto others what you'd have them do unto you; it's about doing unto others what THEY want done unto themselves.

Eighteen chapters cover topics from doctors to funeral directors; car salesmen to auto mechanics; realtors to general contractors. Each chapter stands on its own...
Published on January 10, 2006 by G. M. Hardy

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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Use These Magic Words To Succeed.
This "magic words" book shows how to successfully deal with busy professionals not so much by the words we use but the way we say them. The eighteen occupations this author chose to investigate are essential to most families.

Some are necessary to parents of younger children, like nannies, teachers, pediatricians; for couples just starting out, she covers...
Published on January 18, 2006 by Betty Burks


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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Use These Magic Words To Succeed., January 18, 2006
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
This "magic words" book shows how to successfully deal with busy professionals not so much by the words we use but the way we say them. The eighteen occupations this author chose to investigate are essential to most families.

Some are necessary to parents of younger children, like nannies, teachers, pediatricians; for couples just starting out, she covers realtors, contractors, landlords. Even the adult children of elderly parents with information they should know, the needed advise on choosing nursing home and funeral directors -- which go together -- are a priority. She tells some of the things to ask and how to supervise (what to do, what not to do). "One of the most stressful aspects of placing a relative in a nursing home is the unwelcome glimpse it offers into your own possible future." She gives alternatives such as adult family homes (my sister did this for a while some years ago in Maryland), a private residence licensed to provide care for two to six individuals; it adds the personal touch as opposed to the "demoralization of institutional life." Even though "nursing homes are the second most heavily regulated industry in America (the nuclear power industry is first)," there are no guarantees. From personal experience, I'd advise it only as a last resort.

For those who own cars, she has pointers on dealing with auto mechanics and car salesmen. When dealing with local politicians, such as city council membres or even the mayor, there is a sample letter detailing how to get the best results, "with carbon copies sent to the Mayor, a local t.v. station news producer, and the editor of the local newspaper." City council members can accomplish many things, but they must work within certain limits; "prepare by clarifying what you want done."

If you need the services of a lawyer, "you will know that [by] asking why he got into law will make you one of his favorite clients." She gives pointers on hairdressers, so essential to a woman's appearance and self-confidence, and the tipping process, when it is alright not to tip.

People like doctors and therapists we all need at different stages in our lives so that they will do what they are trained to make our healthcare (physical and mental) tolerable. Some magic words to use: "Be 'concerned' instead of 'scared.' Be 'apprehensive' instead of a 'nervous wreck.' In everyday life, we tend to exaggerate to get results, but with doctors have to go to the opposite extreme. Even if you are 'in agony,' try not to use those words. Instead say, "I have a lot of discomfort."

If something about you gives these professionals the impression that you will make them fail, they will be less than likely to help you. "If they sense that they will succeed with you, they will go out of their way to return your calls, honor their agreements." This book will show you how to give them the impresssion that they will succeed. Lynette Padwa has also written EVERYTHING YOU PRETEND TO KNOW AND ARE AFRAID SOMEONE WILL ASK.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Like reading the other person's playbook!, January 10, 2006
By 
The author gets it right in the very first paragraph: The REAL Golden Rule isn't doing unto others what you'd have them do unto you; it's about doing unto others what THEY want done unto themselves.

Eighteen chapters cover topics from doctors to funeral directors; car salesmen to auto mechanics; realtors to general contractors. Each chapter stands on its own as a "playbook" with practical advice for dealing with common situations. Pawda teaches win-win by showing the reader how to see the world through the other person's eyes.

Read it once for the practical advice. Read it again for insight into human behavior. Read it one more time to transform how you see others.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for the Inexperienced. Yet Promises More than it Delivers., April 28, 2011
Padwa's book is a helpful guide to navigating sometimes-complicated professional situations. Yet the subtitle, "How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need," over-reaches and promised more than the book delivers.

This book offers tips on speaking to and dealing with:

- Hairdressers
- Waiters
- Desk Clerks
- Landlords
- Doctors (and Pediatricians)
- Nannies
- Teachers
- Therapist
- Realtors
- General Contractors
- Lawyers
- Local Politicians
- IRS Agents
- Car Salesmen
- Auto Mechanics
- Nursing Home Staff
- Funeral Directors

I wish she would have added: Pastors, Massage Therapists, Lawn Care Workers, Principals, Loan Officers/Bankers, Professors, and Potential Employers.

POSITIVES:
- Good examples of typical conversations between a person and specific professional.
- Helpful statistics (including pricing, etc.).
- Strategic questions to ask when dealing with a professional.

NEGATIVES:
- Very basic information.
- Many of her suggestions and observations are obvious, common sense.
- The book feels fairly disjointed from chapter to chapter, and sometimes even within a chapter.

This is a helpful book for the novice or inexperienced, but it doesn't delve as deep as you likely want it to (or as the subtitle promises).
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars How to behave to make best use of professional services, March 14, 2010
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
The book provides a good amount of advice on how to behave when you need to use the services of a professional, such as a doctor, a laywer, a realtor, a constructions contractor, etc.

If you are not living in the US, some of the information may not be applicable; that's why I've removed one star.

Note that the title is misleading. This is not a book on improving your communications language, as it may imply. That's why I've removed one more star.

Other than that, it may help many people understand some crucial details about the services they want to use and tips on getting the most of the professionals involved.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Get it right the first time, July 8, 2005
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
Everyday life has become exceedingly complicate. We don't have the leeway to make mistakes in our dealings with people and expect to learn from these mistakes sometime in the future. We need to increase our chances of getting it right the first time. This is where Lynette Padwa's book comes in. Wouldn't it be better to see a doctor with some prior understanding about how a doctor's office really and how you can maximize getting the best possible treatment? Similarly, if you've never consulted a lawyer before, wouldn't it increase your chances of having a good experience if you knew how lawyers feel about their clients and how a law office operates. I found this book to be both fascinating and highly informative, as well as easy to read. I know I'll use it often.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I WISH I'D HAD THIS BOOK A FEW DAYS SOONER!, June 21, 2005
By 
Mary (Gloucester, MA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
I recently suffered through the process of shopping for a new car. I ended up falling in love with the perfect little car, taking it for a test drive, negotiating for a good (i thought at the time) deal, and signing the papers all within an hour. Later that afternoon I came across this wonderful book. How I wish that I'd read it before I bought my new car. The advice on dealing with car salesmen and negotiating the best deal is invaluable...as is the rest of this very practical book. It has become a permanent part of my home's reference bookshelf.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars really practical advice, June 27, 2005
By 
Suzanne Mantell (South Pasadena, CA, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
I was looking for a general contractor for some big house repairs and bought several books devoted to the subject. Even with all the detail contained in those dedicated volumes, none was able to hold a candle to the succinct chapter on the subject in "Say the Magic Words." Padwa miraculously consolidated all the necessary considerations about working with a general contractors--interviewing them, deciding on the best one, understanding the contract you'll be entering into when you hire one, and negotiating the actual work--into one pithy, well-organized narrative that was enjoyable to read and made perfect sense. I didn't throw out the other books, but when it comes to solving any questions or problems that arise during negotiations with the contractor, it is "Say the Magic Words" that I'll turn to.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Everything I wanted and more, August 6, 2005
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This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
This book told me everything I wanted to know but was afraid to ask about a whole host of everyday relationships: with my sons' pediatricians, my own doctors, funeral home directors (I've know too many of these), even my hairdresser. The author manages to pry the lid off these often awkward relationships and get to the heart of what makes them awkward. She then offer sometimes surprisingly simple, straightforward advice on ways to improve them: "magic words" indeed!

Thank you for helping to untangle at least part of my complicated life!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Smart, June 28, 2005
This review is from: Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need (Paperback)
I thought I pretty much knew what I needed about negotiating life, but this book offers some of the most commonsense, down-to-earth tips I have ever come across -- the kind of info you might seek from someone's uncle or friend of a friend, but here it is. And the kind of info that can apply to you as well as your parents and your kids. Plus, it made me laugh. Great book for college grads.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A very handy book, June 25, 2005
I enjoyed this breezy little book on practically every subject a person could need in negotiating satisfying business relationships through the entire life cycle. When I think back on my bad haircuts and some frustrating encounters with doctors and mechanics, I realize now that just a few changes in my own approach would have made all the difference. The book is easy to read and often funny. Both reader and service providers are treated with respect. And hey- the book is small enough to fit in your glove compartment if you just want to keep it handy for review before approaching that car salesman or walking into a hotel...
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Say the Magic Words: How to Get What You Want from the People Who Have What You Need
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