Customer Reviews

Say When : A Novel

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(25)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

After his wife Ellen tells him that she is having an affair and wants a divorce, Griffin makes it difficult for her to turn her back on their marriage. He does not want to be a weekend father to their precocious daughter, Zoe. Rather than move out, he stays, and they become unlikely roommates, as he attempts to come to grips with the breakdown of his marriage and what would cause his wife to turn to a much younger man.

Told in the first-person, from Griffin's point of view, it provides a refreshing and poignant look at how time can cause complacency and a sudden jolt can bring about immense change in a relationship. He performs many acts of kindness in an effort to win her back, but as Ellen tells him, it is too little, too late.

An impulsive decision to become a department store Santa has a profound effect on Griffin, as he forges new friendships, attempts to jump back into the dating pool, and strives to understand what led Ellen astray and figure out if perhaps his lack of spontaneity drove her away.

Eventually, the stress of remaining together as roommates (and Griffin waiting up for her after her dates with "Opie") takes its toll, and Ellen branches out for a little independence by getting an apartment. The setting might have changed, but the same problems are still there. As a reader, we are kept guessing until the very end how the relationship will unfold and the effect it will have on Zoe.

Okay, I'm going to go against the overwhelmingly popular opinion of most of the other reviewers and say that I fell in love with this book on the first page--rather, I fell in love with the character of Griffin on the first page. Elizabeth Berg's SAY WHEN chronicles the story of the marriage of Ellen and Griffin, and the affair that causes them to reevaluate their relationship. The novel is written from Griffin's point-of-view and is a searingly honest portrait of the effects of infidelity which, as it turns out, are not wholly negative. Throughout the course of the novel, Griffin is forced to examine his feelings and actions in regards to his wife and face tough questions: Did he unknowingly drive her into the arms of another man? Is there anything he could have done to prevent her affair? Does he really even know his wife? With her trademark humorous, sarcastic prose, Elizabeth Berg once again offers an ingenious novel that touches issues close to every human heart.

I was astonished at Berg's ability to so successfully write from the point of view of a man. Griffin is a multi-layered, realistic character; in him, I saw some of my own husband's traits (only the good ones, of course). He is a brilliantly-honed character that incites sympathy in the reader; likewise, Griffin and Ellen's eight-year-old daughter, Zoe, is equally realistic and sympathetic. Zoe is intelligent, strong-willed, and incredibly observant; with her amazingly revealing dialogue, Berg deftly illustrates the true depth of Zoe's feelings.

The only character I was unable to warm up to was Ellen, Griffin's wife--which perhaps was intentional. I found her to be unreasonably cold, selfish, and unloving. I suppose she is a true representation of what may drive a woman to cheat, but I was constantly wondering throughout the novel why in the world Griffin continued to love her, why he even married her in the first place. Thus, the ending of the novel--which I won't reveal--I found to be unsatisfying and somewhat unrealistic.

But I thoroughly enjoyed this novel. I sympathized with Griffin's plight and was amused by the sharp, strong dialogue between the characters. I have only read one other Berg novel--but after reading this book, I will definitely read more.

Elizabeth Berg is a wonderful novelist with an uncanny way of writing about life's quiet, everyday moments--the ones that make up the fiber of life. I loved True to Form, Never Change, and Open House, and also her novels featuring the young female character first introduced in Durable Goods. SAY WHEN, her new novel, is exquisite. It takes on a subject so many of us have had touch our lives in some way--infidelity--and examines not only what it can do to a marriage, but to a family, and to a husband in particular. Moving, beautiful writing and a thought-provoking message--I can't say enough about this book. Just terrific!

Elizabeth Berg is a master at telling stories of family drama, and Say When is one of her best books. At the start of the novel, Griffin suspects that something is going on with his wife, Ellen, a sometimes odd woman with a tendency towards sadness. However, he is stunned when she informs him that she his having an affair and wants a divorce. When Griffin refuses to leave the house, they suddenly find themselves negotiating the care of their 8-year old daughter, Zoe, while living as merely roommates.

The fact that the story is told from the husband's point of view is refreshing, as is the fact that there are no bad guys here--both Griffin and Ellen are nice people who have made some mistakes. Furthermore, both are good parents to Zoe, and their interactions with their child are completely realistic as well as touching. In the midst of his domestic turmoil, Griffin gets a job as a mall Santa during the Christmas season, and his conversations with his many young visitors also ring true. The plot is simple yet never predictable, easily engaging the reader in a comfortable way. Overall, this is a delightful little book about marriage, family life, and second chances.

I love ALL of Berg's work and this book is no exception. Not knowing that she had a new book out, I practically jumped up and down when I saw it on the New Release shelf at our local library. The twist for Berg is that the novel is written from a male perspective. So it was really, really interesting to feel like I was spying on the Male Mind in its most intimate moments. We're all accustomed to the stories where the man has an affair, the woman suffers, the woman grows strong, yadda yadda yadda. In "Say When," it's the woman who has an affair and we experience the man's tangled emotions and thoughts throughout the story. Even for those in happy marriages, there is much truth in the husband's memories of the marriage and in the character dialogue. As soon as I finished it, I laid it on my husband's nightstand so he can read it too.

Not in my own marriage- but with several friends' marriages. When did they start drawing apart, one becomes complacent with how things are while the other wants more- "the way it use to be with them"...? Griffin wakes up to his wife wanting a divorce. She has found someone who makes her feel important and young again while Griffin goes about his routine. That's just it- it is all routine, taken for granted. Now Griffin is faced with possible life without his wife, Ellen and his eight-year old, Zoe and starting over again - or renewing his relationship with Ellen, getting that spark back.

The story is told through the eyes of the husband, Griffin- which is different and very touching. It doesn't take long for Griffin to decide that separation is NOT what he wants and that he is going to "fight" for what is his. He refuses to move out forcing Ellen to live as roommates in the same house. She continues to see the other person while coming home to Griffin waiting up for her. Things are just too difficult at home so Ellen moves her and Zoe to an apartment, getting a taste of what it's like without Griffin being there. It's not like it's suppose to be for Ellen while Griffin tries to date a little and finds out that his feelings for Ellen are still strong and this just isn't right.

It's a good story - will Griffin be able to convince Ellen that they can have the feelings that use to be there without giving up what they have now. Ellen finds out that "the grass is not always green on the other side of the fence." Zoe plays an important part as well. She has difficulty coping with what is happening to her family that she has always been able to rely on being together up to now. I like what another review said about it being an "endearing and honest book." I agree.

Can this be the same author who wrote the wonderful "Range of Motion" and "The Pull of the Moon"? The characters in "Say When" are not well developed, especially the husband (WHY did he want Ellen back anyway?), and it had a typical "Hollywood happy ending" -- although none of the couple's problems seemed to be resolved. The parts of the storyline involving the daughter just seemed like filler; the reader gets no real sense of how Zoe is actually coping. Elizabeth Berg used to be a wonderful author, but this book is more like a sappy Harlequin romance than a moving novel that makes you feel truly caught up in the characters' lives -- if you want to read THAT kind of book, try "Range of Motion".

This was the first book I read by Elizabeth Berg and I knew I had discovered a good author. She is a master at creating memorable characters, yet ones that are simple and real - people you could imagine encountering at your local grocery store or seeing at your child's school concert. This story is unique in that it is told from the husband's point of view, a refreshing tactic for a female author. Griffin, the narrator, is stunned to learn that his wife is leaving him for another man. He did not see this coming and now has a young daughter to care for, as well as a failing marriage to contemplate. His journey of self-discovery is told with simplicity and wit. This was an enjoyable read (despite the sobering subject matter) with a satisfying conclusion.

_Say When_ is prolific Elizabeth Berg's first attempt at the male point of view, and she does not let the reader down. Because she has so successfully written from the perspectives of women and children I was unsure whether the character of Frank Griffin would be believable. He is, in fact, painfully believable in his reactions to his wife's announcement that she is in love with someone else and wants a divorce. Griffin, who goes by his last name, has been inadvertantly ignoring Ellen for a very long time. Now he has to wake up.

Throughout the novel, the reader gets to know the two main characters and to learn with them what their mistakes were. Griffin, almost immediately after learning about the imminent separation, impulsively gets a job as a mall Santa Claus. It is that job, as much as his wife's infidelity, that changes him. Griffin and Ellen's daughter, Zoe, adds another dimension of sadness to the story, and also helps the reader to get to know her parents better. She's a sweet addition to the novel, bringing out their different techniques with her, and also their tenderness and love for their daughter. However, as one of my only criticisms of the book, I think that Zoe's actions and habits didn't completely ring true for the 8 year old she is in this story. She also seemed merely incidental to the dramas playing out in both of her parents' heads, which may have actually been Berg's intention.

Ultimately, this novel was a simple, interesting read with great characters and almost palpaple emotion. By the end, the reader feels that the conclusion is right and makes sense for the characters, producing a wonderful sense of completion. Elizabeth Berg's books almost always grab you. With this one, she has us in the palm of her hand.

That's what Elizabeth Berg does best. She takes the mundane things in life, the normalcy, and she changes it around, to help us remember what we saw once, as well.

In this new book, Say When, it opens with a wife and husband, Griffin and Ellen, where the husband has found out that his wife is in love with someone else, and she wants to leave him. To me, this is news enough, because I always feel as though Im reading about the husband doing this to the wife. Needless to say, Griffin is not happy with the separation. He seems to be a character who is happier when married.

The twist on it is, is that no one wants to leave the house. The one thing that they seem to have in common, is the great love they have for their eight year old daughter, Zoe. From then on, they try to reside in the same household peacefully, but, instead, they have much anger and resentment toward one another. I noticed that Griffin, like many others in relationships, thought that everyone was happy and satisfied. Instead, he never realized how unhappily married she had become. She used a great metaphor, "I think our marriage was like a house we stopped using. I mean, you know, you move in, and there are all these terrific rooms, .... and you end up being in the same two rooms all the time... We got swallowed up by a domestic routine that didn't leave room for us as the individuals we are."

I think the good thing about Griffin, was that he found satisfaction within himself, so that, if she ever did come back, he would know that he was being with her for the right reasons, not because he didn't want to be alone.

There is a lot of deconstruction of people and what keeps them togther and pulls them apart. There are a lot of memories and nostalgia so you get to know who you are reading about, wonderful descriptions of people so you feel you can see them, and it was a very quick read. Highly recommended.