Customer Reviews

Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay: Paths From Family Violence To Safety

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From the dungeon of misery in abusive relationships, ten women and their children broke their way to the surface and found light.

The process was not easy, as Barry Goldstein, an attorney specializing in helping battered women find hope, demonstrates in this straight-talk book.

But in "Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay" Goldstein also reveals in user-friendly legalese that behind the mountains of paperwork and lengthy court appearances, callous judges and biased experts, there are people like him who care. Mostly, in the follow-up to each case Goldstein tells how these women were able to rebuild their lives and the lives of their children. They found happiness, they found meaning, they found themselves. They found hope.

They gave their children the future that their fathers were intent on robbing.

The book also contains practical information and resources.

I recommend SCARED TO STAY, AFRAID TO LEAVE to anyone who is living the hell of abusive relationship or has a loved one that is scared to leave. I recommend the book to all others who should learn to understand the secretive dark side of love gone awry--and our society's failure to respond and treat it.

Talia Carner, author,

Puppet Child and China Doll

Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay is a book that shows what it is like for a woman to leave the man that is abusing her. While there are many good domestic violence books, none combine an understanding of domestic violence with knowledge of the law like this book does. I found myself caring about the women described in the book and wishing all women could have an attorney as caring as the author. This book will be popular with domestic violence victims and their advocates. I only hope some judges read it also.

If you think you know about marital abuse the true life stories in this book will shock you. It gives the inside story of judicial crimes against abused women from an attorney with years of experience in the field, as well as sensible recommendations for reform.

Reviewed by Cherie Fisher for Reader Views (2/07)

Congratulations to Barry Goldstein for writing "Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay," a book that gives hope to women caught in domestic violence that they can successfully leave. Goldstein, an attorney in New York who has become an expert on domestic violence issues and long time board member and past chairman of My Sisters Place, certainly has the experience and background to write this book.

The information is broken down into ten real-life case studies of heroic women who had the courage to leave their abusers and start over. The lack of support that the women received through the courts, and the quagmire of red tape that the women had to go through in custody cases, was shocking in several of the case studies. I was appalled to read in one case where a report of a father inappropriately kissing his four and six year old daughters on their vaginas was allowed unrestricted visitation. He had full sexual relations with one of the daughters on their next visit. I was also amazed at how often the abusers were allowed to get away with continued harassment. The author does show that the laws are finally getting better for protecting women, but we still have a long way to go.

Goldstein did a great job of breaking the cases studies down into sections on the history of the divorce, the divorce itself, custody issues, financial issues and many more topics. He takes a very caring approach to his cases and really goes the extra mile to ensure the women and children's safety. These stories really show that people can get away from these awful situations and find safety and happiness for them and their children.

The final chapters of the book give great advice on how to get help and find the right people to get out of a bad situation. I highly recommend "Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay" for people suffering from domestic violence and those that are trying to help them get out of it. It may not be an easy road, but definitely worth it at the end.

Book received free of charge

Mr. Goldstein has been barred by NY Appellate court for deceit, fraud and misrepresentation.

Here are the excerpts from the court case:

Charge 15 alleges that the respondent engaged in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit, or misrepresentation, in violation of Code of Professional Responsibility DR 1-102(a)(4) (22 NYCRR 1200.3[a][4]).

Court found that Charge 15 was accurate - "Based on the respondent's admissions and the evidence adduced at the hearing, we find that all charges are sustained, with the exception of Charge 10 (Statement No. vii), Charge 11 (Statement No. vii), and Charge 23."

And ordered that Mr. Goldstein be suspended for 5 years !

ORDERED that the respondent Barry L. Goldstein, is suspended from the practice of law for a period of five years, commencing January 30, 2009, and continuing until further order of this Court, with leave to the respondent to apply for reinstatement no sooner than six months prior to the expiration of the said period of five years

With this kind of background, the material presented by Mr. Goldstein is very suspect. Throw it in the gutter.