Customer Reviews

Scars and Stilettos: The Transformation of an Exotic Dancer

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From the moment I cracked the cover of this amazing book, these pages that house one of the most real, beautiful, painful, transformative stories of a life that I've ever had the privilege of being invited into, I was captivated. Once I started, I didn't stop. Only hours after I began this journey, I had made my way through to the last page. The grace that shines in the darkest of places and never, ever leaves is impossible to ignore and long after you're returned to your own life, you will realize has followed you home.

This book is so well written, you really don't want to put it down. It takes you on such an emotional rollercoaster through the life of the author, but leaves you feeling very inspired. Whether you can relate to her personally, or not, this book is well worth the read. I highly recommend it!

Harmony Dust has really honed her craft as an author. She has done other writing before this that I have loved, but this memoir really shows her extraordinary talent as a writer. From the very first pages of the book, I was transported to the time, place, and emotions of a young girl growing up in Venice. By the time I finished the book, I felt as if I had been right there with Harmony through every memory of pain and rejection and her eventual triumph over it through a relationship with her heavenly Father. What really blew me away while I was reading Scars and Stilettos was the feeling that this was the best book I had read in a long time. What stayed with me after I read it, was the incredible work of God shown through Harmony's life which encouraged me to a deeper understanding of His transforming power and His penetrating grace.

This is one of those books that'll break your heart & capture you from the beginning... You literally feel like you're going through these things WITH her & not just reading about it. Her story of redemption is one every woman (and person!) you know should read, regardless of your life experiences. To read how Harmony overcame such tremendous obstacles to then turn around & help others is totally inspiring! You wont be able to put this book down!

As a radio personality who interviews authors, many books cross my desk unsolicited. "Scars and Stilettos" grabbed my attention immediately, partly because of Harmony Dust's beautiful face on the cover, and the subject matter: an exotic dancer's life is transformed by Christ.

Like a lot of women, I've wondered how any woman gets to the point of displaying her unclothed body for money, so I began reading. And pretty much didn't stop until I had finished the book.

Harmony writes so beautifully, I had to stop and search for a ghost-writer's name on the book. There is none. This woman has a natural talent for writing--for telling a story in the most evocative and powerful way.

Although there's nothing graphic in the book, she doesn't pull punches. You'll find more curse words than you're used to seeing in a "Christian" book, but I'm sure not as much as if she had more accurately recounted conversations from her past.

The story unfolds of a young woman who holds the scars of child sexual abuse and rape, and who is so hungry for love that she'll do anything to keep the man she thinks she can't live without--including selling the view of her naked body to strangers. Not to mention squandering thousands of dollars on his whimsical "needs" and emergencies.

But Harmony is a complex person. The whole time she was stripping for a living, she was attending college, studying child psychology and making straight A's. She lived a double life: hard-working and hard-studying Harmony in sweat pants and no make-up by day; Monique, dancing in an all-nude strip club by night.

She recounts the events in her life with a raw clarity and authenticity, but also with such descriptive beauty and power that you can't help but feel every emotion.

In the end, Harmony's life begins to change thanks to one Christian friend who loved her, didn't judge her, and kept asking her to come to church with her.

Harmony's transformation is a story that shouldn't be missed--and a challenge to all Christians to never stop trying to reach "the unreachable."

One of the saddest ways that a woman earns an income is to work as an exotic dancer, in my opinion. `Scars and Stilettos' by Harmony Dust is her life story about going from being in the spotlight in a strip club to being in the spotlight of God's love as she was delivered from that lifestyle.

Here is the synopsis of this book and biography of the author:

Nineteen-year-old Harmony Dust ([...]) is trapped. Thousands of dollars in debt, struggling to get by, dominated by her boyfriend: things can't get worse... until someone tells her how much money she can make as an exotic dancer. For the next three years, Harmony lives a double life as Monique, a dancer in a fully-nude strip club.
Scars and Stilettos is Harmony's stark, honest, and ultimately hopeful story of how God found her in that dark, noisy place and led her back out. She has since married, completed an MA in Social Welfare, and now leads Treasures ([...]), an organization helping women in the sex trade discover their true worth.

And here is a video of Harmony telling her story:

Harmony was sexually abused from a very early age. She quickly developed a coping mechanism:

That stiffening feeling was familiar to me. Throughout my life, I'd been sexually abused by several people, both men and women. I was exposed to pornography at the age of three by a male relative. `Stay still. Go to sleep,' I remember him saying. The pink fleshy images on the television screen were burned into my mind.
Staying still and pretending I was asleep was the very defensive tactic I used the first time it happened. (pp. 27-28)

She grew up having a twisted view of sex, yet she knew that was more to life than that:

Casual sex. Is that what grown-ups have? No ties. No attachments. Sex for the sake of sex. I wanted to be a grown-up about it; to ask like one of those mature, independent women with a corporate job. The one who gets out of bed first after a one-night stand, slips on her pumps and skirt suit and leaves the man lying alone in their hotel room, wanting her more for leaving him. I wanted to be that woman, but I couldn't. There was nothing casual or meaningless about it for me... (p. 39)

After a blow-out fight with her mother, she moved out at age 17. She finds a job, enrolls in college and is entangled in a dysfunctional relationship with a guy named Derrick, who has not worked a day in his life and expects Harmony to support him. Harmony obliges, because her low self-esteem gives her no other option in order to keep him with her; she doesn't think she'll be able to survive otherwise.

After she turned 18, she inquires about a `hostessing' job in which the classified advertisement says she could earn $150-300 a night. She applied, was hired, but left shortly thereafter when she sees what is really going on there.
At age 19, a college classmate who seemingly had ulterior motives encouraged her to work at a fully-nude strip club. She reluctantly agreed, and thus began three years of being trapped in a job which paid her very well, but little by little, took away her dignity and humanity.

She quickly learned that she already knew what was required to succeed in this new environment:

To keep up with the continual stream of competition, it wasn't enough just to have a great stage performance and the cutest outfits. To make money, I had to hustle. Growing up, I had learned how to sell my mother's crystals to sun-scorched tourists on Venice Beach, which my mom looked on with pride. The trick was to make the person think that they needed the crystal more than you needed their money. The principles were pretty much the same in the strip club. (p. 119)

She also explained the toll that line of work took on her as a person:

I tried to look down on the men. I tried to remind myself that outside of the club, most of these guys wouldn't even get a second glance from me, if they tried to talk to me on the street. But sometimes that made it even worse. If I let my sense of self get in the way of it all, I was bound to have a crappy night. I would inevitably end up like Grace, pouting in the dressing room and gorging on junk food.
Really, there were two choices: let the rejection reflect on who I was as a woman, or wear a mask. The mask allowed me to pretend that I was someone else; that someone else was getting rejected. Each night, I died, just a little, to who I really was. It was just a little bit safer to be someone else. (p. 152)

Fortunately, her grandmother had given her a Bible at one point, which sat in her closet. Her sole use for it was to hide her earnings from Derrick. One day, she did take a look inside:

As I pulled it closer for examination, her writing and her heart became clear. In pencil was one simple word, written next to a gently underlined passage: `Harmony.'
Beside my name was the Scripture `Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall inherit the Kingdom...'
...Imaging her searching for a pencil in the cabinet of her nightstand and carefully writing my name in her Holy Book softened my heart towards her, and what I always thought were her religious rantings about going to church and reading the Bible.
`Harmny.' The syllables of my name ran together in her East Texas accent. `You really need to go to church. And you should read your Bible every day, too!'
Why? Why should I go to church or read my Bible? Just so she could sleep at night knowing her big, angry God wouldn't send me to hell if I played by some man-made rules? I wanted to argue with her, but it was pointless. But standing there in my closet, holding her prized Bible in my hands, I realized that there was something caring and personal at the heart of her `ranting' that I had never seen before.
She wanted her grandbaby to be blessed. (pp. 137-138)

Harmony was well aware that there was something missing in her life:

I had a hole, too, and an insatiable thirst to have it filled. I longed for someone to see past the scars and stilettos; beyond the façade of glamour; the find the woman locked deep inside me. I sensed her presence when I sat at the foot of the ocean and fathomed its vastness; when I peeked inside the windows of quaint houses filled with happy families and dreamed I belonged in one of them. I could feel her inside me, willing me to survive long enough to find a force powerful enough to unleash her, to set her free. (p. 168)

I found that paragraph to be so well-written, and so heartfelt!

Harmony met a lady named Tanya in a dance class who invited her to church. After several months of invitations, Harmony finally accepted an invitation to a special featuring singers and comedians. She and her grandmother attended. Harmony saw love and acceptance directed toward her, and made this observation:
I clasped my hands in front of my heart and swayed to the music. Then I noticed an attractive woman with tumbling tresses of red hair a row ahead. She wore a sensible, beige two-piece suit, and looked like the kind of woman who had a steady boyfriend and held a good job. Her hands were drawn to her chin, which rested gently on them. She didn't look sad, but she was crying, as if she had just been captivated by something wonderful. Longing to go to that place, I closed my eyes just to see if it was possible. In that room, as I allowed myself to experience this thing called worship, somehow I understood I had finally come home. (p. 175)

She came to love church - and the Lord - and ultimately walked away from her job. She also severed ties with Derrick, and was baptized. And she realized she would be ok:

The fullness of this realization bubbled up in me so fiercely that I had to keep myself from jumping out of the car and telling the homeless man on the corner that he would be ok too. Second chances are for real; people really do change; and there is a Love that sees to it all.
I am not who I was. I am not even who I was yesterday. Tomorrow I will be new again, and again, until I am completely the woman I was meant to be. Still, in this moment, in this breath that I am taking, I am enough. Right now - as is- I am worth loving and fighting for. This God of mine has shown me that. He is enough.
My heart danced in my chest. He is enough. The world around me shifted, and there was hope in every person I saw, connecting me to them in a way I had never noticed. The woman using her rear-view mirror to put on lipstick; the man in the center divider selling incense; the child with its forehead pressed up against the back-seat window; the young woman in hot pink stretch pants, walking rapidly, searching frantically for her next fix. He is enough.
And if He is all I ever have...
He is enough. And I am enough in Him. (pp. 230-231)

In the Epilogue, she writes:

This has been an account of my exodus: my journey out of captivity. It is by no means the entire story, as it hasn't ended yet. Today, I am freer and more fulfilled than I was yesterday. Tomorrow, I believe I will be freer still. The journey is ongoing. I am not perfect, but I am complete. I am married to a wonderful man; I have a beautiful daughter, amazing friends, an education, and I get to spend my days reaching and loving women in the sex industry and sharing hope with them. I am complete not because of the circumstances in my life, but because of Who I am living for. I have learned that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen (Hebrews 11:1). There have been plenty of times when I have had to summon this faith, a faith that lives outside of facts and reason. (p. 237)

And she concludes with this:

This brings me to God, who loved me while I was still in the middle of my deepest mess. My relationship with Him did not begin once I `got my act together.' He not only loves us in spite of our junk, but He sees past all of it in the person He has created us to be. God loved me just as much standing half-naked in the middle of a strip club as He does today. I didn't somehow gain His approval by doing or saying the right things. I didn't need to win His heart. He won mine. (pp. 238-239)

It is truly a miracle what Jesus has done in Harmony's life. Based on the trials that she has gone through - as well as poor choices she's made - she could be an angry and bitter young woman these days. Instead, He has rescued her, and she is ministering to the very people who are living the life in which she was ensnared and entrapped. I was so encouraged by her testimony! I can understand why anyone would want to get out of that lifestyle and never look back; it is amazing that she continues to return to that environment to minister to other women who are still ensnared. She has an amazing heart for the Lord and for people! I am so glad she is living a happy and healthy life now. To God be the glory! I thank Harmony for sharing her story. I am sure it will be a blessing to many!

This book was published by Monarch Books in association with the LitFuse Publicity Group for review and giveaway purposes. I am proud to be on the blog tour with these other bloggers - [...].

Reviewed by Andrea Schultz - Ponderings by Andrea - [...].

This is a world that I know absolutely nothing about and was intrigued enough to read the book. I'll be honest though, I struggled a bit with the author's sometimes graphic account of her life as a stripper. But even though it made me uncomfortable, I don't think the book would have had as big an impact if she would have sugar coated her story.

I also found myself understanding more how a woman could stay in an abusive relationship. Harmony's boyfriend, who she was desperate to win the approval of, never seemed to care and would spend his unemployed days playing basketball. Her words opened my eyes to how a situation like this could actually come about.

What impressed me the most and made me want to read this book was the fact that once she found the love of our Lord and was able to get away from this industry, rather than putting it all behind her she went back to save the other women. I wonder how many of us would have done the same.

This was a good book and I'm glad to have read it, but I almost hesitate to recommend it due to the honest and graphic portrayal of the stripping. If reading about this sort of thing bothers you, this definitely isn't the book for you. If reading about a woman who has overcome huge odds and now wants to share the love of Christ with others, then be sure to get a copy of this book.

Scars & Stilettos by Harmony Dust will probably grab readers with its subtitle: The Transformation of an Exotic Dancer. Harmony was raised with virtually no parental involvement in Venice Beach California. Her mother was a hippie who regularly moved boyfriends in and out of the house and sold crystals on the boardwalk. Her father is a Chicago businessman who was to wrapped up in marrying and divorcing to have time for his little girl. Left to her own devices, she was forced to raise herself and try to protect herself from the adults who abused and molested her, leaving Harmony with a skewed view of sexuality and love. She soon attaches herself to Derrick, a childhood friend, who is at first a boyfriend but then takes advantage of her financially and sexually while running around with other women. Despite all of this drama, Harmony still put herself through college to get a degree in developmental psychology and was working at a daycare center. When she wasn't making enough money to support both Derrick and herself (and his baby's mama), she took a job as a stripper, just for a few months until she could get out of debt. A few months turned into several years until she started going to church and fell in love with God. Her story of escaping a life of degradation and shame is without artifice or pretense. Harmony tells readers how she disconnected her brain from her body in order to strip in front of strangers for money and then how God restored her pride and sense of self. This brave young woman wasn't content to just get herself out of the industry; she's also formed a group called Treasures, Inc to help other women still stripping by showing them that they are loved. This is a courageous story told with a great deal of heart.

What a powerful book! I could not put it down. It made my heart ache. It made my heart rejoice. It brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my lips.

Harmony has a beauty that radiates out through her written words. She has a depth that will tug at every heart that reads her story. She proclaims a hope and a healing that will stir the heart of those in bondage. Her story is one of abuse and healing, captivity and redemption.

I appreciated Harmony's sensitivity when sharing her story. Although she could have used the opportunity for sensationalism, she did not. Instead, she presented the facts of her life with raw honesty to give us a glimpse of where she was and where God brought her from but she did not do so in a vulgar, disturbing way. To be sure, what she came from was disturbing and while she allows us a glimpse of the ugliness that it was, she does not do so in a way that was uncomfortable.

If a person reads this book without being profoundly touched, their soul must be dead. Honestly. Scars and Stilettos was that compelling. It was also beautiful. It is not just a book about the sex trade. It is a book about a heart longing for love and acceptance. It is a book that speaks of things most people don't know how to voice or put into words. but Harmony does, and while she does, she profoundly touches your heart so that you will never be the same after reading her story.

I read Scars and Stilettos in a couple of days, I couldn't put it down. I was captivated by the story of Harmony, Monique, and more importantly God. The way that Harmony cascaded the complete lostness to the loving arms of Jesus was brilliant. It was simple, to the point yet passionate and had God's hand all over it. I have already passed the book along and can't wait to have all of my friends read it!