Scars [Kindle Edition]

Cheryl Rainfield (Author)

Book Description

Kendra must face her past and stop hurting herself—before it's too late....

An edgy, realistic, and hopeful novel about a teen survivor of sexual abuse who uses self-harm to cope.

Kendra, fifteen, hasn't felt safe since she began to recall devastating memories of childhood sexual abuse, especially because she still can't remember the most important detail – her abuser's identity. Frightened, Kendra believes someone is always watching and following her, leaving menacing messages only she understands. If she lets her guard down even for a minute, it could cost Kendra her life. To relieve the pressure, Kendra cuts; aside from her brilliantly expressive artwork, it's her only way of coping. Since her own mother is too self-absorbed to hear her cries for help, Kendra finds support in others instead: from her therapist and her art teacher, from Sandy, the close family friend who encourages her artwork, and from Meghan, the classmate who's becoming a friend and maybe more. But the truth about Kendra's abuse is just waiting to explode, with startling unforeseen consequences. SCARS is the unforgettable story of one girl's frightening path to the truth.


Many teens secretly self-harm; it is often a painful, hidden issue. Cheryl Rainfield has drawn on her personal experience of self-harm, sexual abuse, and trauma/dissociation, to offer an insider perspective in SCARS.

She shows Kendra cutting for many of the same reasons that she has — to relieve unbearable emotional pain; to escape or suppress abuse memories and related overwhelming emotion; to not kill herself; to shut herself up; to try to feel better; to silently cry out for help; and to punish herself. Although cutting hurt Cheryl, it also helped her survive.

Scars is...
#1 in ALA'sTop 10 Quick Picks for Reluctant Readers, and is on ALA's Rainbow List. It is a also 2010 GG Finalist (Governor General Literary Award).

A percentage of all the profits from the sale of Scars go to the Toronto Rape Crisis Center/Multicultural Women Against Rape and Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). Author Cheryl Rainfield is a huge supporter and, as a side note, those are her arms you see on the cover of the book.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Starred Review. Grade 9 Up—Fifteen-year-old Kendra is being stalked by someone who wants her dead, and she is overwhelmed by the compulsion to cut herself. She is dealing with shadowy memories of sexual abuse from her early childhood and wonders why she cannot recall her rapist's face. Kendra is a tough, vulnerable, troubled teen, a survivor who will win readers' hearts as she struggles to deal with her life. While her biggest challenges may be extreme, there is much that any teen can relate to: frustration with a clueless mother, delight as her friendship with Meghan grows into love, and the struggle for identity and self-knowledge. Watching, guiding, and caring for this emerging young woman are three adults who offer emotional support rather than answers: a gay mentor, a therapist, and a teacher who knows true artistic talent when she sees it. Particularly well written are the scenes with Kendra's therapist; there's no miracle working here, just the long hard slog through pain and uncertainty. And when the revelation comes, there is no cardboard villain in the shadows, but rather a complex person whose cruelties and self-deceptions are believable and deeply sad. The excellent resource section covers widely respected books, Web sites, organizations, and help lines for youth seeking information on extreme abuse, cutting, same-sex attraction, and dissociation. This book will be a particular comfort and source of insight for teens facing any of these challenges, but whatever their life experience, they will be on the edge of their seats, rooting for Kendra to unravel the mystery that shadows her life. This is one heck of a good book!—Carolyn Lehman, Humboldt State University, Arcata, CA
(c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

From Booklist

The scars that crisscross 15-year-old Kendra’s arms are not for public consumption. Her cutting is kept secret from her parents, her friends, and even her beloved therapist. But things change when she meets Meghan, a classmate whose promiscuity with boys belies her budding romantic interest in Kendra. Like other books and movies on this topic, Kendra’s story isn’t really about cutting—she was sexually abused between the ages of 2 and 12, and the resulting trauma has blocked out her rapist’s identity. What sets Rainfield’s story apart is the stalking element: her rapist is still hounding her, giving her frightening reminders that she will be killed if she tells anyone the truth. Sophisticated readers may very well roll their eyes at melodramatic clichés (“It’s only my utility knife that releases the screams inside me”) but that same sense of overwhelming emotion might appeal to teens wrestling with similar issues. The book becomes most enjoyable near the end, when it makes an implausible hairpin turn into the realm of psychothriller. Rainfield’s closing research guide is unusually extensive. Grades 8-11. --Daniel Kraus

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 361 KB
• Print Length: 250 pages
• Publisher: WestSide Books (May 1, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0081IOLE4
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #22,279 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 65 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest July 29, 2010

By Angie

Format:Hardcover

I don't hide the fact that I'm a rape victim - or that I used to be a self-mutilator (still am, depending on who you are and how you define SM - I cope now with tattoos and body piercing because it's safer than slashing up my arms or legs and it allows me to take something that makes me feel awful and turn it into art, but that doesn't always sit well with everyone else. Truth be told, I stopped cutting because I found out that one of my friends cut as well - and he scared me into turning the situation into something that really did help me cope without risking my life).

I don't talk about it very often because I have problems discussing these topics, but I do read a lot of writing about both subjects. And, very often, I find that the fictional books aren't very realistic. They try to gloss over the bad parts and make everything hunky-dory at the end. Not so with this book. The author doesn't gloss over the pain and, while things do end on a more positive note, I wasn't given the impression that Kendra's life will just be A-okay now. She still has problems on the road ahead of her. She still has good days and bad days, but she's going to get through them because she's a survivor. And I love that ending because it gives hope to people like me. So I have to give the author kudos - she did something very rare and I hope this book helps other kids who find themselves in a similar situation.

Too often, the people around me have a hard time understanding what I'm going through - from now on, I'll recommend this book to them and let it show them.

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is wonderful and powerful. March 24, 2010

By Lawral Wornek

Format:Hardcover

This is a book I read in a day and then took two days to digest. I highly recommend it. That said, this is a book about prolonged sexual abuse and self-injury, in addition to being a book about a girl whose mother is not happy about her daughter's new girlfriend. It is not for everyone, but it will undoubtedly be really important for more than a few someones.

Throughout the course of the book, the bulk of which spans what feels like only a week, Kendra relives her abuse, through flashbacks that hit her out of (almost) nowhere and with her therapist, as she tries to remember the identity of her abuser. She also cuts herself, repeatedly, to cope with the pain and the panic that these memories bring on. Rainfield portrays all of this realistically and sensitively. She lets us inside Kendra's head to see her pain, shame, insecurities, fear and more. More importantly, she shows how much Kendra appreciates and depends on those who support her, even if Kendra doesn't always show it herself. It is Kendra's chosen family, her therapist, her art teacher, her mentor, and her girlfriend, that make it possible for her to face her abuse and ultimately her abuser.

There were some moments in the book when the dialog seemed less than authentic. Using Carolyn, Kendra's therapist, Rainfield can realistically work phrases like "you're not the one who deserves to be hurt, Kendra. He is," into a conversation about Kendra's self-injury. Instead when Meghan, Kendra's girlfriend of a day, says it, it can be a bit jarring (139)*. However, it is the right things to say and important for readers to, well, read. While the few exchanges like this between Kendra and Meghan pulled me momentarily out of the story, they are easily outweighed by the cute wow-you're-pretty moments that these two more often share. Their budding relationship adds the happiness that Kendra so desperately needs and the normalcy that the average reader will need in order to relate to all the Kendra is going through.

Cheryl Rainfield has also included an annotated bibliography of web resources, help lines and crisis support, books, articles, and videos for victims of sexual and ritual abuse, those who self-harm, teens thinking about suicide, and teens in the process of coming out or dealing with homophobia. She also highlights resources specifically for friends, family, and other vital supporters of people dealing with these issues.

Book source: Review copy from publisher.

*All quotes were taken from an uncorrected proof. Exact wording and page numbers may not match the final copy.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Scars November 11, 2010

By James F. Booth

Format:Hardcover

This book was so haunting, raw, emotional, yet still filled with hope; Rainfield did a great job balancing all the emotions in Kendra's story. What I also really loved about this book is how it treats the lesbian aspect- it's definitely there, but it's not at the forefront or anything and a big deal isn't made about it when it does come up. Kendra already knows and has accepted that she's lesbian; yes, there is the requisite parental blowup about it but it's handled well in the scene where she comes out and they work toward accepting their daughter.

Anyway, the main focus here is Kendra's sexual abuse when she was younger and the cutting she does now to help with the pain and trauma as a result of that abuse. She has no idea who her abuser was, but as the book goes on, more memories come to light and we see the finger being pointed in several directions. It's a hard mystery to solve, and the last 50 pages were read in one big gulp because the climax and reveal were so compelling. I was honestly really shocked at who the abuser turned out to be.

The romance in the book was handled really well too. It starts off with them being friends and growing closer with each interaction and the secrets they let each other in on. I thought Kendra and Meghan made such a cute couple and I loved the scenes they had together. I also loved seeing Kendra's neighbor Sandy, a gay man, and their interactions, as well as those that involved Emil, Sandy's boyfriend. It was nice to see that she had that kind of support system outside of her family, due to her mom being a bit of a bitch and her dad being barely home.

Overall, this was a great, powerful book that featured a compelling, haunting yet hopeful story and some well-written, fleshed out characters. I did have a small complaint (though I guess it's really more of a thought than complaint) about it but it's pretty spoiler-y so if you want to discuss it with me, send me an email.