Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill) [Kindle Edition]

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Joseph Gualtieri (Photographer)

Book Description

There are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity.

One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable.

All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask?

Bill's only hope is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that he's the scariest dead thing of them all.


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Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill, part 2) is 80,000 words of foul-mouthed horror comedy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Bigfoot Hunters.

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

Book 2 of my Tome of Bill comedy / horror series.

This series is my attempt to bring the vampire genre back from the dark brooding place it's been the last several years and make it fun again. Think of any current vampire drama and replace the leading "hunk" with a wise-cracking, sharp-tongued geek who just can't take things too seriously and you have the story of Bill Ryder. 

Writing these books puts a huge smile on my face.  I sincerely hope you have as much fun reading them.

The Tome of Bill currently includes:
Bill the Vampire (book 1)
Scary Dead Things (book 2)
The Mourning Woods (book 3)

Holier Than Thou (book 4)

About the Author

Rick Gualtieri lives alone in central New Jersey with only his wife, 3 kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.

Defilers beware!

Rick Gualtieri is the author of:

Bigfoot Hunters
Bill the Vampire (The Tome of Bill, part 1)
Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill, part 2)
The Mourning Woods (The Tome of Bill, part 3)
Holier Than Thou (The Tome of Bill, part 4)
The Poptart Manifesto

Product Details

• File Size: 456 KB
• Print Length: 367 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1466308036
• Publisher: Wayman Publishing; 9 edition (March 23, 2013)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B005PI3YP0
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Not Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,132 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  • #88 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Humor

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Bill Rocks! October 29, 2011

By Mel Collins

Format:Kindle Edition

I was so looking forward to reading the continuation of Bill the (geeky) vampire. It does not disappoint.
Even though Bill has had time to acclimate himself into his coven he still stands out as a big nerd. Not quite the image you want to project when you are the head of the coven, and known as Dr Death.

Bill is still the smart-mouth gamer geek that we know and love. How he manages to get himself tangled up in every bad situation that you could possibly imagine, (most of them you could never even fathom), is quite humorous. But, being Bill, he never lets it get to him. Whether getting his butt kicked, or kicking someone else's butt, he keeps his humor and humanity intact. I found myself smiling and laughing out loud several times while reading.

Bill's roommates are the best. Everyone should have a Tom and Ed to back them up. Even if they DO experiment on Bill to find out what his limitations and strengths are, now that he's one of the undead. Add in Sally, the hottie that turned Bill and is just as smart mouthed as he is, and you have an amazing cast of characters.

I am really looking forward to the next book. Hopefully it will bring back the ancient, yet childlike, Gan. She is such a card! Imagine babysitting a child that wants to be a whole lot more than a playmate to Bill. Priceless.

I received a complimentary copy of this book to review. I am anxiously awaiting book 3! Keep up the great work Rick!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Who would have thought - Horror with Humor! December 21, 2011

By Tammy

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Another great book by Rick Gualteiri! While some authors really blow it when they write a sequel, Rick has hit a homerun. This book delivers the same high level of pace, action and humor found in Bill the Vampire. He has found a way to deepen the connection to characters while telling a great story. I read this book chuckling to myself and rooting for the main character Bill and his sidekick Sally. It had a great balance between horror and humor. I loved it so much I just purchased the paperback as gifts, one for my husband and one for my son. I am just sorry to say we have to wait for the next installment in this great series. I highly recommend Scary Dead Things for everyone!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Dead Scary Things June 12, 2012

By gru2

Format:Kindle Edition

Scary Dead Things: The Tome of Bill: Part 2 I received a free copy of this book in return for a review (BookRooster).

I prefer the (pre-conversion) Ann Rice treatment of vampires, demons, etc. This book is a much lighter, younger, more flippant treatment. Nothing wrong with either.

More About the Author

In the latter part of the 20th century, Rick Gualtieri was born. The world as a collective said 'meh' and thus he began his journey through a life filled with all sorts of quirks and oddness. What better thing to do than write about it? Rick Gualtieri is an adult comedy & horror writer. He is the author of:

BIGFOOT HUNTERS - A horror adventure
BILL THE VAMPIRE - A horror comedy. Book one in the Tome of Bill Series
SCARY DEAD THINGS - A horror comedy. Book two in the Tome of Bill Series
THE MOURNING WOODS - A horror comedy. Book three in the Tome of Bill Series
HOLIER THAN THOU - A horror comedy. Book four in the Tome of Bill Series
THE POPTART MANIFESTO - A comedic selection of short stories

Upcoming works include:
DEVIL HUNTERS - a Tale of the Crypto Hunter

Rick currently lives in NJ, a good place to be for people like him.

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I welcome any and all feedback. If you've read one of my books, I would love to hear what you think (good or bad). It's okay, unlike the creatures in my novels, I don't bite. :)

You can find me at my blog www.poptartmanifesto.com or just drop me a line at [e-mail].

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#67 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Fantasy

#82 in Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy

#67 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Fantasy

#82 in Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy