Customer Reviews

Scheisse! The Real German You Were Never Taught in School

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I'm a native German speaker and as such I kind of feel the need to warn you a little about this book...
First I have to say that it is indeed very funny and VERY resourceful- I didn't know all of the words in here! If you are frustrated while studying German or just for fun before coming to Germany on a trip this book is a really good read I think. BUT (here it comes) you are probably quite prone to make a fool out of yourself when using some of the words or phrases in here, because a lot of it is horribly outdated. If I heard someone say some of this stuff I would probably be lying on the floor laughing- so you might not come across quite as planned!

But this isn't to say that I wouldn't buy this book if I were you! (I still have to find an equivalent of this in English :o)!)
You might want to consult a native speaker once in a while though...

In her book, "Scheisse" Gertrude Besserwisser, which seems to almost have to be a pseudonym, the reader is introduced to really wonderful low Deutsch of the most common variety. In fact, this is German you don't learn in school, I heard this stuff when I went to Germany, Austria and Switzerland. But not in school.

No profanity is too great for the unabashed Besserwisser. Wonderful colloquial German expressions of full throttle profanity and abusiveness are introduced in this book, along with illustrations by David Levine that increase the humor of the presentation.

The one item that the reader should know, is that basic knowledge of a little German is really a pre-requisite to get the most out of this book. Although, it is readable, by those who have never spoken a word of German. And just as funny. This book is highly recommended for people about to take a trip to a German speaking country. At least you will know when they are cursing at you, even if you cannot understand all of it.

This book provides some useful words and expressions that you certainly won't learn in American high schools or colleges. It is probably the best of its kind available for German (the Wicked series books are filled with ridiculous made-up sayings that no native speaker really uses). That said, it really doesn't compare with the Merde books in French, of which this is the German equivalent. For instance, the sentences given as examples are not witty and they are also loosely translated into English, which might give the right "feel" but is not the best for someone trying to learn the intricacies of their usage. Also, the German doesn't get as vulgar as the French (whether this is because the German language is more civilized or this book less complete I hesitate to answer). One understandable problem is that there are tons of different dialects and regional differences in German so that a general unified version of German slang is sure to lack some substance. Consider also the great wealth of Viennese slang (Wienerisch, eh kloar!) or the different Swiss expressions which are of necessity left out. Over all this is a pretty decent book for those who want to learn some "low German" or just try out some choice words on their German teacher!

Not only does this book teach you all the 'dirty words', but it gives you insight into the German culture. Seeing that there's a phrase to call beer 'liquid bread' seems silly at first, but you quickly learn there's a lot more to it. It's a similar experience to learning some of the small cultural bits in your own language- Americans might relate to how whiskey can be formulated as "grandpa's cough medicine", or various beer/food/etc combinations can become the "breakfast of champions".

The great thing about this book is that it's careful to seperate myths from truth, and stereotypes from cultural traditions. Not only will you learn how to say the dirty word, but you'll learn the culture around the word, and how much trouble it will get you in. You'll learn what words we THINK are naughty but aren't, and some pitfalls you might run in to trying to speak everyday German (more things that SHOULD be taught in school but never are).

Great just for the fun of it, excellent if you plan on travelling, and absolutely necessary if you plan on drinking. Yes, you should have a basic running knowledge of German before picking up a copy, but so long as you know how to string together some basic sentences, this book will do the rest. I can't reccomend this highly enough.

This is probably the funniest book you'll ever see on German, and it's the only one I've seen on the subject. Most of the book wouldn't be repeatable here, but I might be able to mention a couple things. "Die Muschi" refers both to "cat" as well as to you know what, just as in English. Equally funny, I recall from my study of Chinese that in Mandarin, the word "mao," pronounced with the tone that falls at first and then rises, has the same dual meaning too. So German, Chinese, and English are all alike in this respect. :-) You might hear the acronym "BMW", but it doesn't refer to the car. It's shorthand for Brett mit Warzen, or "a board with warts," referring to a woman that is not especially well endowed. However, "der Vorbau" means just the opposite. In fact, it translates as "front porch," which carries a connotation of being fairly heavy as well.

The book has 12 chapters with hundreds of off-color and colorful phrases and words, and a glossary. Each chapter has a paragraph of introduction to the subject of the chapter, such as "Curses, Epithets, and Other Cries of Exasperation," or "The Basics," or "Body Language and Other Parts." Finally, there a little quiz in the back to test your new-found knowledge of scatological German linguistics, so to speak. The book is only 112 pages, but there is a lot of information in those 112 pages, and it's worth the price just for the entertainment factor.

I had a lot of fun reading this book. It made me aware of a few things I never thought about. Sorry to admit this, but this is how we speak..... However, some caution is advised as some things are very regional and may sound quite out of place in the wrong region or context. Certainly not a good idea to actually go and use these expressions if you don't want to sound ridiculous.

Went to live in Germany a few years back, having little knowledge of the language. I purchased the basic study items (dictionary, phrasebook, workbook, cassette tapes, etc). After beginning my studies, I came across this book. It was actually needed, because of my environment, German friends, etc. I figured it would help me learn the curses. This book did a few things I didn't expect:
- It gave me a deeper understanding of colloquial German.
- It taught me something about the German limbic psyche, and how they generate slang.
- It helped me 'fit in' - in bars.
- It helped me understand better, teaching me common words you won't find in standard books.
- It made me laugh (it is hilarious!)
- It helped me make my German friends laugh.
- And yes, it helped me learn the curses.

If you are learning intermediate German, this is a great addition to your collection. It is worth the price for the humor alone. Do heed the warnings in some other reviews, though - you need to know where you can use these terms, without getting into trouble.

Until I read this book, I thought I knew every nasty thing you could possibly say in German. I was quickly proven wrong. This is a great reference for dirty words and insults you can't find in even some medium-sized German-English dictionaries. It is assumed that you have a basic knowledge of pronunciations and other mechanics of the German language, so I'd recommend it to someone with at least a year of formal instruction under his/her belt. Other than that, watch what you say and to whom you say it; your Oma would turn green at the mere mention of some of these words, but the boys in the Biergarten probably wouldn't mind too much. (However, there is an adequate effort made at pointing out some of the worst words and phrases.) The illustrations put the book over the top; they're relevant to the chapter in question, in a somewhat literal and very amusing way. A great read, and the best money you'll ever spend in learning German!

I first read this book several years ago, prior to a trip to Northern Bavaria. It was a great and easy read, and gave me enough to sound much more native in my skills.

But I have also learned that swearing or cursing is not so tolerated in German culture, especially in front of kids, so be careful with what you learn here.

It is a great assist for those times you are sitting in a beer hall and need to fit in a little better.

Yes, there are dialetical differences, but I have found that people in Germany really enjoy it when Americans make a concerted effort to speak the language. This book really helps.

I remember my high school German teacher, and I wouldn't try too much of this book out on him, another warning for school age readers. The title word alone got me in deep Scheisse when I used it in class!

Buy it. Read it. Love it. Use it. ... And then **pray** for an updated edition. And then buy that one, too, if it comes out. You WILL find phrases you cannot do without once you have them down. You might try them out with friends first, is all.