Habitual teenage delinquent Wayne Banstead is expelled from yet another school and finds himself hauled off to reform school. It plays host to the worst of the worst—thieves, bullies, arsonists, and flashers. But far from rehabilitating the boys, the teachers seem intent on instructing them in how to get away with things. Danny King’s latest is definitely not suitable for kids.
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"'An absolutely hilarious, laugh out loud book by someone who has been there' Bruce Reynolds, mastermind of The Great Train Robbery 'Occasionally hilarious, if morally dubious, The Burglar Diaries is well worth buying - and definitely worth half-inching' GQ 'This is the sweet-as-a-nut, hilariously un-PC account of the jobs [Bex] has known and loved - the line-ups, the lock-ups and the cock-ups. If ever there was an antidote to Bridget Jones's Diary this is it. The Burglar Diaries is the first in a series. Long may it run' Mirror"
About the Author
Danny King was born in 1969 and has worked as a hod carrier, postman, journalist, porn mag editor and burglar. He is the author of six previous books, the first of which he recently adapted for British TV. He currently lives in north London with his girlfriend, Jeannie (who says hello) and needs to get a proper job.
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More About the Author
British writer Danny King was born in 1969 in Slough, a town made famous throughout the white collar world as the much-lampooned location for the original series of The Office. He never worked in an office while there but he did work as a bricklayer's laborer, a supermarket shelf stacker, a painter & decorator, a postman and a magazine editor and today uses these rich experiences to dodge all of the aforementioned. Besides books he has also written for the both big and small screens and the stage: his credits include the BBC sitcom Thieves Like Us, the forthcoming 2012 movie Wild Bill and the stage show The Pornographer Diaries, which played throughout the 2007 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He lives in Chichester, West Sussex with wife, Jeannie and two children and divides his time between writing and wondering what to write about. For further details go to dannykingbooks.com.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
You'll Love This Days of the Old School Yard Tale, With a Difference!,
By
This review is from: School for Scumbags (Paperback)
The narrator of this tale certainly isn't the most likeable of boys, but you'll love following the tale that he tells about his recent days at his latest school, Gafin School for Misdirected Boys. At this school Wayne or Mr Banstead as he is referred to in a school that doesn't allow first names to be used will experience something he has never come across before, discipline! Himself and the other group of juvenile delinquents are in for a shock when they expect to get up to their usual disrespectful and disruptive behaviour, as the two teachers and headmaster aren't like those they've come across before. If they don't listen they get a good whack, if they ask smart aleck questions or don't provide the answers that were just outlined in the lesson or in fact if they show any disrespect at all they are fast learning there are unpleasant consequences in this school. An institution that certainly doesn't go for the wussification principles of naughty steps or time outs that has become the norm today. Wayne Banstead usually hates being in school, and being expelled is something he doesn't worry about, but as the weeks go by Wayne starts to experience something he never has before, he likes it there. The lessons supposedly to teach the boys that crime isn't worth it such as the Gafin principle of is the risk worth the gain, where the probable prison term in return for the outcome of a crime of stealing a stolen car stereo where they'll only get a few dollars actually makes sense. Of course Wayne doesn't believe it would put him off being a career criminal. However what is the motive of this unique school? Is it to save these boys' futures and steer them on a righteous path or do they have an ulterior motive?
I should point out that this book is set somewhere in the late 80s or early 90s, an era when the cane was still used in public schools, and VCRs and rioting as soccer games was all the rage in England. That's actually the era I went to school so this book also has a nice nostalgia feel to it as well. This means there's no mobile phones in mass circulation, CCTV cameras aren't everywhere in London (where this school is located) nor do they have the capabilities they do today. This gives events in the story more plausibility then it would have if it was set today. The book is slightly predictable in parts but that's only because as an adult you can pick up things a 15 year old who has lead a bit of a self centred life doesn't quite work out until it happens. The fun is in getting there though. A very fun school days read that you won't want to put down until the final page.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A school you *don't* want your kids going to,
By David Roy (Vancouver, BC) - See all my reviews
This review is from: School for Scumbags (Paperback)
I'm not familiar with Danny King's writing, but when my wife saw School for Scumbags, King's latest book, she thought sounded fun an interesting. I read it after her, and I have to agree. It's quite good, light reading about criminal boys and the lifelong criminals who keep them corrupted. The writing is crisp, and the book is only marred by some extraneous scenes and not being as funny as the concept sounded.
Wayne Banstead is the bane of the English public school system. He's a delinquent and he always will be, bouncing from school to school as his activities get him expelled. Wayne's family's at the end of its rope, and they finally decide to send him to the Gafin School for Misdirected Boys, which claims to be an expert on dealing with these types of youths. But there's more to the school than anybody else knows, and Wayne finally finds himself at home. He's learning how to be *better* at what he is, not being cured. As the school term goes on, he and his newfound friends (and nemeses as well) find themselves graduating to the major leagues. What they find there may scare them straight, or it may just reinforce everything they believe in. School for Scumbags is an interesting concept, and as the story builds it becomes even more interesting. Is this a school that teaches delinquents how to be better crooks? Or is there something more specific in mind? Getting to these answers is quite intriguing, especially with King's colloquial writing. These kids and their instructors feel like rough and tumble characters, swearing up a storm, looking at porn and getting into fights. I love some of the examinations too, as the instructors are trying to find out just what kind of delinquents they have on hand. That being said, once you buy into the situation, the story moves along very nicely, with good pacing, excellent dialogue and humorous situations that bring a chuckle or two. The characters are interesting, fleshed out only as necessary. That's ok in a caper book, though, as you're not looking for deep characterization in a book like this. School for Scumbags is told in first person by Wayne, so it's enough that he's fairly deep. He actually starts to learn a few things toward the end of the book, but you can't tell whether they stick with him or not for reasons I can't go into without divulging the ending. The problem is that there are some extraneous scenes in the book. The soccer scene, as hilarious as it is (and it's the funniest part of the book) doesn't have anything to do with the plot and doesn't forward the characters any. That, and the ending conceit almost invalidates the entire novel. I can't be specific due to spoilers, but who Wayne is telling the story to just isn't logical. Overall, School for Scumbags is a nice little caper novel, one I could see a movie made out of easily. King seems to be able to get at the heart of the criminal mindset and all of his dialogue rings true. While the situations are a bit outlandish, once you accept them they're also very well written. Give it a try if you like crime novels, especially humorous ones. David Roy
1 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
entertaining first person satire,
This review is from: School for Scumbags (Paperback)
Looking back at his career over the last two decades Wayne Banstead knows when being a thief imprinted on his brain. He had been kicked out from several schools due to his inability to conform to what the headmasters called the norm until his final headmaster Mr. Atkinson anointed him "a born thief". Lashes only increased his delightful smirk as he now recognized what he wanted to be once he left school. Thinking further back he agreed with Mr. Atkinson that he was born to be a nipper even purloining from his family and enjoying in a perverted sense the clouts his father gave him.
Feeling brazen, he does what all kids have time to do which is robbing the tuck shop. However, Wayne does it in daylight so witnesses can identify him and carries in the open an air gun. This time when the school boots him out, he is sent to a special place for repeat delinquents like him. He attends the Gatlin School for Misdirected Boys where the dregs of teenage society are sent. There he obtains the perfect education that will enable him to return to society as a respected member; he studies how to get away with criminal activities. SCHOOL FOR SCUMBAG is an entertaining first person satire that rips the skin off those whose solution to everything is out of sight out of mind storage that has made the private prison industry a wealthy service entity. The story line lacks action for the first half as the plot looks deep into what makes Wayne tick (from his perspective); the action picks up late in the tale as Wayne deals with the pros outside the classroom. Fans who appreciate an amusing lampooning of society will enjoy attending reform school in which the teachers instruct the students on bettering their criminal skills. Harriet Klausner
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