Schopenhauer's Porcupines: Intimacy and Its Dilemmas [Hardcover]

Deborah Luepnitz (Author), Deborah Anna Luepnitz (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0465042864 | ISBN-13: 978-0465042869 | Publication Date: March 26, 2002 | Edition: 1

Are human beings destined to find perfect complements in love, or are we more like the fabled porcupines-forever jostling for a place between painful entanglement and loveless isolation? This is the question at the heart of this stunning new book. "People seek therapy only when things have gone terribly wrong in their lives," observes Deborah Luepnitz, one of the field's most gifted psychotherapists and a writer of uncommon talent. "They arrive in the grip of a death wish or some unspeakable obsession, but what is at stake always turns out to be intimacy-the endless dilemmas of loyalty and desire." Schopenhauer's Porcupines recounts five stories from Luepnitz's practice, with patients who range from the super-rich to the homeless-as they grapple with panic attacks, psychosomatic illness, marital despair, and sexual recklessness. We watch their therapy unfold week-to-week, from the first phone call to the final sessions, as these men and women learn, in the words of one poet, "to make room in love for hate."Written with wry humor and deep compassion, Schopenhauer's Porcupines goes further than any other book in unveiling the secrets of "how talking helps." Its wisdom and intelligence will appeal to readers everywhere who are reaching for psychological renewal and want to go beyond "quick-fix" cures.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Throughout its history, psychological theory has contended that at least part of what can make maintaining intimate relationships so difficult is the conflict between feeling aggressive and loving toward the same person. Luepnitz, a psychotherapist and author of The Family Interpreted, finds a metaphor for this problem of intimacy in Schopenhauer's porcupine dilemma a story of how porcupines in winter must struggle between the desire to seek warmth from closeness with each other and the pain they feel from one another's quills as they become too close. Drawing from the writings of Winnicott, Lacan and Freud, along with case studies, Luepnitz not only provides insight into the practice of a wide range of psychotherapeutic treatments (such as couples therapy, family therapy and supportive psychotherapy), but also shows how psychotherapy can help people balance their conflicting feelings of love and hate via discourse and reflection. Written for a general audience, this book is enjoyable to read and nicely describes the treatment of a variety of patients, from an 11-year-old girl struggling to control stress-induced diabetes to a homeless woman dealing with poverty and a history of abusive relationships. Although such anecdotes cannot "prove" the validity of psychotherapeutic methods, Luepnitz's book does give those who may be curious or skeptical about "talk therapies" the opportunity to consider whether psychotherapy is right for them.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Clinical psychologist Luepnitz (The Family Interpreted) practices psychotherapy and teaches at the University of Pennsylvania. A family therapist with Freudian roots but without his authoritarianism, she writes effectively for both lay and professional readers. "The therapy boat is made for rocking," she says, showing how the therapist tries to create balance and assure safety on the rocky ride, despite her own uncertainty about what will happen next. The title metaphor, quoted by Freud, alludes to the prickliness of being close, and Luepnitz offers five illustrative stories of her own, which concern a couple, a family, and three individuals. Comfortably open, Luepnitz writes with humor and humility, adding glimpses of intellectual mentors like Winnicott, Lacan, and Rank and deftly addressing big themes that involve Don Juan and Oedipus. Luepnitz reveals patient and therapist as partners on the pilgrimage toward intimacy. An exemplary casebook, this can be recommended for all libraries, along with a recent view from the other side: Tales from the Couch: Writers on Therapy, edited by Jason Schinder. E. James Lieberman, George Washington Univ., Sch. of Medicine, Washington, DC
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Basic Books; 1 edition (March 26, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0465042864
• ISBN-13: 978-0465042869
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #199,034 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Human stories and fascinating theory, April 30, 2002

By 

"june2222" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Schopenhauer's Porcupines: Intimacy and Its Dilemmas (Hardcover)

Deborah Luepnitz has crafted not only an engrossing telling of five very different and revealing stories but, between the lines and around the edges, a revelation of the power of the "talking cure" of psychoanalysis in contemporary society. She helped me understand the applicability of the often obtuse Jacques Lacan and creates the wonderful image of the analyst working in a space between the teachings of Lacan and the more optimistic (I would once have thought incompatible) Donald Winnicott. An intellectual, spiritual, sweet, and often funny work.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wise, Witty, and Quite Wonderful, April 21, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Schopenhauer's Porcupines: Intimacy and Its Dilemmas (Hardcover)

"Schopenhauer's Pocupines" is an amazing and very human book, detailing with wisdom and sharp wit our struggle to balance desire for intimacy with an ongoing need for autonomy, even--perhaps especially!--in our most cherished relationships. Deborah Luepnitz has a graceful, witty style, and her book is chock full of insights, without being in the least bit overbearing or patronizing. The book doesn't try to be a panacea for all relationships; instead, it reveals common traits that often spoil and undermine them. I recommend the book highly.

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, compassionate and accessible, May 26, 2002

By 

richard hardack (berkeley, ca United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Schopenhauer's Porcupines: Intimacy and Its Dilemmas (Hardcover)

With great grace and empathy, Luepnitz traces five divergent routes through the sometimes difficult process of analysis. Luepnitz' considerable training and erudition illuminate not just psychoanalytic history and theory, but the relationships of patients and their families as they evolve through analysis. The stories of her patients' progress are as richly rewarding in analytic terms as any found in Freud or Lacan, but told with more humor and consideration for the reader. (In that respect, I suspect Luepnitz has implictly situated the reader as a necessary and welcome participant in the book and the analytic process she describes--as being in another kind of relationship with the analyst/writer and patient/subject). Perhaps most impressive is Luepnitz' ability to challenge and engage those familiar with psychotherapy, while remaining accessible and rewarding to newcomers. As her wonderful chapter titles suggest ("A Darwinian Finch," "Don Juan in Trenton") Luepnitz is especially adept, aesthetically and analytically, at translating the paradoxes of the unconscious, and showing how analysis can help us understand our possibilities as well as our limitations. Her reflections on the analyst's political and social role in contemporary society are also compelling and refreshing.