Customer Reviews

The Schulmadchen Report / Schoolgirl Report

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Excellent German orchestral and small combo rock 'n' roll from the soundtracks of German softcore films of the early 60s and 70s. Plenty of fuzzed out guitars ("make your guitar sound like a Sitar - the Voxx Wah-Wah, it's what's HAPPENING!") Hammond organ, and wailing brass, complemented by snappy drums, bongos and other percussion. All tracks feature catchy riffs, many borrowed from the very best places ("Dirty Boy" reminds me an awful lot of the theme from the Munsters, "Title Theme" has a harmonica that just might be the player from Canned Heat). Sighing vocals and softer horns provide the background for your home seduction scenes, while the upbeat cuts turn any room into a discoteque.

Superb sound quality and a hefty 19 tracks make this a real bargain!

I can't even remember how I stumbled accross this CD. I know it was here on Amazon, somehow. I was immediately intrigued cuz the cover shows boobies! I then read some of the reviews and they convinced me to listen to some of the samples. I thought they sounded pretty cool. What, the heck? It's only [money].

I am just now on my first listen, about track #8 or so. This has got to be one of THE coolest CD's ever. Oh yeah! It's 1970's German Soft-Core Porn Jazz Soundtracks. Oh yeah! Horns, Wah-Wah Guitar, Doo-Be-Doo Vocals. Oh yeah!

Turn down the lights. Start a fire (Make sure you have a fireplace!) Pour a martini. Light a cigarette. Make sweet-sweet love to this music.

If there ever was a CD I could use to judge the extent to which a person enjoys life, it's "The Schulmadchen Report." Mr. Wilden perfects what I warmly refer to as Romp Rock, pornographic music with a slick style and a sense of humor. I firmly believe that anyone who doesn't tap their foot to this is at least partly dead inside, and anyone not turned on a little is way past their sexual prime.

Sure, Wilden and his orchestra do lift their hick-pop sensibilities and fuzzed-out production from other artists (the opening "Title Theme" is a clear nod to Canned Heat's "On the Road Again"; the guitar production of "Dirty Beat" a possible tribute to the Beatles' "Taxman" and a slew of 60's "Nuggets"-worthy garage acts), but the best records are usually a testiment to the varied and tasteful listening scope of its creator. Here, German-born Wilden weaves in equal parts Mancini and "Lady Chatterly's Lover," a weekend couple getaway gone very, very blue.

Wilden's other work in the soundtrack genre, most notably gathered in the crime story backdrop "I Told You Not to Cry," is more than worth bending an ear for, but if you're looking to swell your libido and magically unhook the bra of your significant (or insignificant) other, "The Schulmadchen Report" is a must for anyone with a truly musical, if not dirty, beat in their hearts. And the pictures ain't too bad, either.

This is a great album. These instrumentals can be taken as perverse if you've seen the films that their from, but you can play it as the background soundtack to a classy retro get-together with wine and cheese. I can't believe how much the first track apes The Canned Heat's "On the Road Again!"

This little diddy is a journey through the minds of German pornographers of the mid twentieth century. All of the music was written as background for cinematography, therefore this is an instrumental album. It sounds great through a modern stereo or Hi-Fi quality sound system. The music is nothing you could imagine as being porno music. It has depth, and is actually music no cheap synthesizers here. Although when you listen to this album you be able to here "licks"(no pun intended) that have been borrowed from American popular music but, for the most part it is orginal. The closest thing I could compare it to would be "The Monkees meet I Dream of Jeanie".

The best representation of 70's over-the-top rock sound, played masterfully by the finest studio musicians in Germany. I would kill to be able to get some of the guitar tones on this CD.
Track 2: Follow Me is one of the best songs EVER!

UPDATE: 11/2011:
First and foremost; please IGNORE the ridiculous 2-star review above from "KC metroxing" claiming this album is "not very much fun." Completely absurd and patently false. Consider the author - "KC metroxing" gave a 4-star review to the "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" home game (really).

The songs on this compilation album further certify Wilden's place as one of the 3 German masters of film scoring (along with Peter Thomas & Martin Böttcher) for the very reason that his music perfectly compliments the subject matter being shown on screen - the bold, quirky, blissed-out sexual revolution of 1970's Germany, played in these films to amuse as well as titillate.

Wilden's compositions are so well-executed that they pass the ultimate test for any movie soundtrack - that the listener can hear the music by itself and vividly get the "vibe" without ever having seen the film. And despite "KC metroxing" ridiculous claim to the contrary, the vibe that runs throughout the films and this compilation is FUN!

Gert Wilden & Orchestra - The Schulmädchen Report album is about forty minutes long was released on vinyl in 1997 by Crippled Dick Hot Wax. The CD version has an extra two bonus songs to it. The album has seventeen songs on it from sexy German films spanning from the years 1968-1972. The album is a mixture of acid rock, lounge, sexy jazz, rhythm & blues. Most of the music is upbeat, but there are a couple of slow and mellow songs. The album did not chart in the United States, but may have charted in Germany. The main reason I got the album because of the topless girl on front and the album was new; on the back cover there is a picture of a nude female in a shower. I did not know what to expect from the album, but I found that I enjoy this type of music. Gert Wilden & Orchestra - The Schulmädchen Report gets an AAAAA+++++ in my book.

Side A

1. (Die Dressierte Frau) Title Theme
2. (Was Männer Nicht für Möglich Halten) Follow Me
3. (Madame und Ihre Nichte) Title Theme
4. (Schulmädchen Report 1-13) Title Theme
5. (Schulmädchen Report 1) Girl Faces
6. (Schulmädchen Report 2) Dirty Beat
7. (Schulmädchen Report 3) Soul Guitar
8. (Schulmädchen Report 4) Getting Blue

Side B

9. (Was Männer Nicht für Möglich Halten) Dirty Boy
10. (Schulmädchen Report 5) Ecstasy Blues
11. (Mädchen Die Nach München Kommen) Title Theme
12. (Mädchen Die Nach München Kommen) Sexy Girls
13. (Die Fleissigen Bienen Vom Frölichen Bock) Blues Party
14. (Madame und Ihre Nichte) Hot Dance
15. (Madame und Ihre Nichte) Dirty Dancing
16. (Was Männer Nicht für Möglich Halten) Ballet Elevin
17. (Die Jungen Ausreiberinnen) Blue Mood

Well gents and alternative-lifestyle ladies, my work is half done for me. I don't needs to outline reason No. Uno to get this.

And the music inside is almost as good. If you like cheese soundtrack music from the late-1960s and early-70s, this will float your boat just fine. Here it is of the more horn-driven veriety, some nice psudo blues and some loungy vocal pieces that covered B-films from the era. Nothing that will knock your socks off, but maybe one bare person in the room is enough.

If you like this--I mean the music, dunderhead---check out a comp of Stu Phillips' work called Surf, Sex and Cycle-Psycho's, which pushes many of the cheesier elements here to a much further extent.

This has a broad range of styles, not porn at all. It is a great retro album, and the best way to couple it is with Vampyros Lesbos and Shake Sauvage!

I really loved "Sexy Girls" with its dreamy like atmosphere, as well as "Follow Me", which sounds a little more 60's.

Enjoy!

I just like a couple of things about the album cover. Should be easy to figure out immediately. (*)(*) Know what I mean?