Customer Reviews

The Science of Parenting

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I just bought this book a few days ago, and completely adore it. There are quite a few child-rearing styles out there, from attachment to Ferberizing, and new parents can feel completely overwhelmed with the anecdotes and 'expert advice' thrown their way from every side-- especially when they don't know what effect any of those tactics will have on their little one.

This book clears up the mystery by providing scientific research on how an infant's brain is affected by his/her early experiences with you (the parent); namely, it demonstrates that how you respond to the baby's emotions/needs is the biggest component in how they view themselves and the world-- both at the time and decades later, well into adulthood. As the introduction notes, for many years "we have been using child-rearing techniques without awareness of the possible long-term effects, because until now we simply could not see the effects of our actions on a child's developing brain. But with the advances of neuroscience, brain scans, and years of research on the brains of primates and other mammals, we no longer have the innocence of ignorance. For several years, science has been revealing to us that key emotional systems in the human brain are powerfully molded for better or worse by parenting experiences."

The serious subject matter might make you worry it's more of a textbook than anything else-- but don't be fooled. The layout of the book makes it exceedingly easy to read and digest, and the photos (which are numerous) are nice and colorful. There are also lots of sidebars and little nuggets of information scattered throughout the pages, which breaks the text up and makes it even easier to read.

All in all, this is a top-notch parenting guide, and I say this as someone who owns a LOT of child-rearing books! If I could give "The Science of Parenting" 10 stars, I would.

I found this book on the discount shelf, and I am so glad that I did! As a trained molecular biologist, I appreciate the author's ability to explain development of neuronal pathways in a way that anyone can understand.

I absolutely disagree with the reviewers who indicate that the author excessively asserts her personal opinion. I did not find that to be true at all. In any case, shouldn't people value the opinion of a trained child therapist? Not to mention, this book is not short; are you telling me one should base one's opinion of an entire book on a tiny section regarding the length of time out? That is ludicrous.

Regarding a lack of science, I think the reference section allays any fear of that. Maybe the other reviewers missed that part, or maybe they are not used to reading technical, scientific style writing. I can only guess. The fact that the reference section is so extensive is part of why I love this book so much!

There is a TON of useful information in this book, but the most important take-home point is that parents must always respond to their babies distress, ALWAYS. Response does not mean the child gets what he or she wants all the time: response means that you help the child deal with his/her emotions. Stress reduction pathways are formed so early in life, and once a child reaches 2 or 3, it is too late to reverse the damage that inattentive parenting can cause. Let's face it, as parents we have a responsibility to our children, like it or not. Wouldn't you rather have the information you need to do your very best for your kids?

You don't have to be a scientist to understand how important this information is.

As a psychoanalyst I find this book fascinating, not only in terms of parenting my own kids, but in terms of the wider issues of promoting emotional health and well-being. The book gives a solid scientific backing to my responding to my kids' distress, rather than being told I am just indulgent and spoiling. It has also helped me to avoid getting into a submission/dominance clash over tantrums and to realise when one should concede with grace with a child who is distraught and furious in his failure to get through and emotionally connect with his parent. Of course there is a difference between this and a pure battle of wills with an older child who needs to be taught that Mummy is boss, and where clear boundaries are vital to make him feel safe. The book has also helped me to avoid shaming responses and to acknowledge what Margaret Mahler calls "emotional re-fuelling" ( that time in the playground when they just need to come back to base again, to say hello.) It has also helped me appreciate the scientific validity for the fact that the seemingly contented infant can actually be the infant who has given up. What's the point of screaming for help, if no one comes? The book is not about the all giving, long-suffering resentful mother. This does nothing for the self- esteem of the child. Rather the book speaks of the vital importance of parent care and the science supporting this.

I am full of admiration for the author's patience and thoroughness in collating this vast array of up to date neuroscientific research studies which focus mainly on parent- child interaction. (As these references are all at the back of the book, parents don't need to refer to them, but I am sure they will be a vital resource for mental health professionals!)

As a practicing psychoanalyst, I believe that alongside attachment theory, this book also has real implications for treatment. The book allays mental health professionals the opportunity to integrate their various theories of the primary importance of relationships in the first few years of life, and how these can have long term effects on the key emotional systems in the child's brain.
This book is about prevention. I think it should be read not only by parents but by child care professionals and those working in the field of mental health.

I read this book, thinking that it would be research-based, but found that, like other reviewers have mentioned, it contains components that reflect author bias. For example, there are "Case studies." This is the author presenting one individual case, and what happened when something wasn't done. For example, the baby who became "depressed" after being sleep trained. However, true research involves a high enough sample number of children, double-blind randomized trials. In psychology, this is difficult to do. However, just because one individual reacted a certain way, doesn't mean that all children will react the same way. Furthermore, case studies do not reveal whether there might have been other factors involved that resulted in that child's outcome.

I wouldn't trust that every piece of information is research-based, moreover because, being a physician myself, I knew that the last chapter was definitely NOT research based, regarding which food increases which hormone levels, etc.

Therefore, most of the book was discredited from my point of view because of the factors above. I would look elsewhere for a less biased, more research-based parenting book.

As a first time mom of a 2 month girl, I recommend this book to every parent, new or experienced. I have a lot of parenting books, and a lot of people suggesting how I raise my daughter. This is the first book that has scientific evidence backing up how you should raise your child. From stress chemicals flooding your baby's brain when you let them "cry to sleep" to disciplining, to not letting them watch too much tv because their brain gets used to laziness. I absolutely love this book because now when someone tells me how to do something, I can simply quote this book with real facts, and not just how I feel about it. I can not say enough how much I love this book and I'm only in the first few chapters! Just wait till I've read the whole thing, I will feel like a parenting expert! It all makes perfect sense, the book is easy to read. Everything is explained and they apply all their findings to real life situations. This book should be given out by the hospitals when they discharge new babies. It is definitely worth the $25. BUY IT!!!!

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who has questions about parenting. It's a very insightful and helpful read..covering every topic. I would definitely suggest every new parent purchase this book or if you are a parent and know someone who will soon be a parent, it makes a great gift!

This book is an eye opener for me. I've been searching the answer of all my "parenting question" especially about co-sleeping, brain development, crying and separation anxiety, etc. And this book answer it all.

Every time I go to the doctor office, I feel 'bad', since i wouldn't give up my co-sleeeping habit with my 7 mth daughter for the seek of SID warning. I am glad that cosleeping is not always danger for child as mother appeared to be aware of the baby next to them (according to th book this is based on one study around 800 hours of video material). On the other hand, the skin to skin contact during 8-10 hour sleeping will increase the bonding process between mother-baby.

Love It!!

Rennta Chrisdiana

If you read the review of this in Mothering magazine and were hoping for a scientific defense of attachment/gentle parenting practices, do NOT waste your money on this book.

For example, consider the chapter on discipline. The same tired old folk "wisdom" is trotted out, with absolutely no scientific defense. Yes, the author recommends "time in" (ie talk with your kid when they behave in ways you don't like to see if you can figure out the problem) but she also recommends "time out" as a last resort "with one minute for each year of age". Where on earth did this recommendation for timing come from? What's the empirical evidence for it? It is so standard that it is rarely questioned. And here it is again - just another author's opinion, and just the same opinion as millions of other people. A tad disappointing.

Also, the author is very keen on ignoring bad behavior and praising (giving stickers etc) for good behavior in order to motivate more good behavior in the future. But, again, no empirical evidence is given for the efficacy of this. And in fact, there is empirical evidence that praising children (giving them rewards etc) for doing something (such as reading books) makes them LESS motivated to do those things in future. (See the Kohn book I mention later for the details.)

If you want a book that genuinely does provide empirical evidence regarding time out and other punitive strategies, doling out praise and blame etc, then read Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting". It is the most carefully researched parenting book I have ever read, and I've read way too many....

This is a pretty good book if you want some decent parenting advice and a few interesting facts about neuroscience, and can take it all with a grain of salt. But if you're looking for an unbiased analysis of the science of parenting, this book isn't it. The parenting advice generally seems reasonably good. None of the suggestions seem crazy and it offers a lot of good ideas I hadn't thought of. However, the scientific basis for this parenting advice is one-sided, and the tone is rather alarmist. It focuses on neuroscience and what we know about how the environment can shape the brain, and this is fine as far as it goes. But it doesn't acknowledge how much we don't know about neuroscience, and doesn't address what we know about child development from other sciences, such as genetics and sociology. Thus, it gives you the impression that the impact of environment on the brain is absolutely deterministic, and any parenting mistake you make will scar your children for life. For example, it says your primary mode of discipline should not be yelling at and hitting your child, because if it is, your child will learn that yelling and hitting is the right way to interact with others and will become a bully. The advice here is good, but the justification is flawed. You don't have to be a scientist to realize that you probably know quite a few people who were raised with this kind of discipline who are not bullies. While I have no doubt that yelling at and hitting your child all the time will always have some negative effect, it can't possibly be true that it will always lead to your child being a bully. There are so many other things that affect how your child will turn out, such as genes and the rest of his environment, and this book ignores all those other things.

Furthermore, the discussion of the science is extremely superficial, boiling it all down to a bunch of magic chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy or sad. To learn more about the science of how the brain actually works, I would recommend What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand why certain kinds of parenting are so much more effective than others. This isn't a "how to" book and much as a "why to" book. Have you ever wondering what might be going on inside your developing child's brain, but you had neither the time nor interest to read technical journals?? This book is well-researched, but saves you the trouble of wading through the research by providing easy-to-understand summaries and interesting examples. All of us who are parents, grandparents, or friends of parents, want to see children get the most they can out of their lives. The information in this book will help us do that!