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Scratch [Paperback]

Troon McAllister (Author)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 9, 2004
Golf fiction's most beloved hustler, The Green's Eddie Caminetti, returns from self-imposed exile to turn the PGA Tour and the golf equipment industry on its ear.

When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protégé but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever.

With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil Scratch?"

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This humorous golf-centered caper is the third in McAllister's series featuring the unflappable hustler Eddie Caminetti (The Green; The Foursome). Now the owner of the fabulously cool Swithen Bairn golf course on an idyllic, unnamed "island in some ocean," Caminetti crosses paths with a reclusive Caltech physicist who stumbles upon the formula for the ultimate golf ball. Setting up a company called Scratch to deal with the sudden voracious demand for the miracle ball, Caminetti goes head-to-head with Tommy Trevillian, the monomaniacal head of the Medalist corporation, for control of the golf ball business. The story moves sluggishly from the course to the courtroom as Medalist sues Scratch for predatory pricing. The strength of the book is in the hilarious sendup of the professional golf industry (with staged events like the "Nissan Prudential Fruit-of-the-Loom Texaco Waste Management (formerly the Valley View) Open" and the "Verizon Aetna Hairstyles-by-Steffen Bob's-Quickie-Lube (formerly the Enron Worldcom Tyco Byron Nelson Classic)") and the sycophantic sports media that caters to it ("That was one of [sports talk show host] Fitztipton's gifts, a style so relentlessly ingratiating that anybody watching would feel guilty for even thinking anything negative about television's number one Nice Guy"). Golf enthusiasts may eat this up, but overall the plot falls a bit short of the green.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Cunningly concocted...a credit to McAllister's style and [hero] Eddie Caminetti, as shrewd, cunning and deceptive as they come. -- Los Angeles Times, June 17, 2003 page D2

Strength is in the hilarious sendup of the golf industry...and the sycophantic sports media that caters to it. -- Publishers Weekly, March 6, 2003

Sweet mysteries of life, golf. Sidesplitting, hilarious. Readers just wanting entertainment...will get more than their money's worth. -- San Bernardino Sun, May 18, 2003 pg. 10 --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Rugged Land (March 9, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590710215
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590710210
  • Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,211,978 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

24 Reviews
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 (23)
4 star:    (0)
3 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (24 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars It's no lie, May 17, 2003
By A Customer
I'm a club pro (I won't say where) and can tell you without a doubt that everything this writer says about golf equipment in this very funny book is a hundred percent the dead truth. The people who make this stuff steal billions from unsuspecting golfers with false advertising and outright deception. What I'm ashamed of most is that people in my business go along with all the bull because of the fat commissions and free equipment, even though they know without question it's total bull. I've been teaching for almost thirty years and in all that time have never seen a club or a ball lower someone's handicap although I've seen members spend thousands of dollars year after year even though nothing they bought ever did them any good. In the last month I've had a dozen different manufacturer reps troop through my home club ranting about what an awful book Scratch is and why nobody in his right mind would pay good money to read that garbage. Well I did, and when I wasn't laughing or turning pages I was nodding my head up and down so hard it hurt. No wonder these guys are scared. Troon tells it like it is and pulls no punches. Don't spend money on the latest piece of junk, take lessons instead and read this book, but don't look for it it any pro shops because you won't find it there.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book - highly recommended, June 18, 2003
By 
I haven't read this author's other books but I am going to very soon. I got Scratch for father's day and went nuts over Eddie Caminetti. The writing is absolutely excellent and the story is great. I recommend it very much to anybody, not just golfers.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Out-GREENS "THE GREEN", March 27, 2003
By 
Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but THE GREEN has been topped. As good as that classic is -- and it really, really is -- SCRATCH has more to say that is stingingly relevant to today's world. McAllister's splendid dialogue is just as rhythmic, his prose just as tight, his characters just as interesting and his narrative pace just as crisp, but this time he turns his rapier wit loose on the predatory marketers who spend billions trying to take us all to the cleaners...and succeed. There is always something to learn from Eddie Caminetti, and this time it's a message you can't afford to miss, and...

...ah, to heck with all of that. Think of it as just a fantastically plotted, hugely entertaining novel as gripping as Clancy and more fun than an advertising war. *HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION FOR ALL READERS*

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
They'd been at it now for thirty-two hours straight. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
counterfeit balls, balls flooding, national average handicap, tee box, lemme ask, first tee
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Eddie Caminetti, Tommy Trevillian, Judge Howell, Fat Albert, Swithen Bairn, Albert Auberlain, Derek Anouilh, New York, Norman Standish, Ryder Cup, Steve Farley, Robert Carmichael, Sawmill Challenge, Bill Winters, Medalist Apex, Professor Standish, Gerry Agnormo, Grady Dean, Joel Fleckheimer, Oscar Petanque, Tyrell Bardswith, Augusta National, Horace Nickton, Sawmill Cola, Scratch Golf Ball Company
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Books on Related Topics (learn more)
 
The Green by Troon McAllister
Bud, Sweat and Tees by Alan Shipnuck
Bud, Sweat, & Tees by Alan Shipnuck
 

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