Customer Reviews

Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys

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4 star:		(2)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

Note: I am a single man, and I think the ideas in Screw Cupid are brilliant.

The sexual liberation movement brought sexual equality to women, but it destroyed dating. As every woman became potentially sexually available, neutral conversations between strangers of the opposite sex became next to impossible. Any attempt at polite conversation by a man became suspect. "How are you doing?" is now translated as, "I'm attracted to you" and provokes a wall of resistance by the woman, eager to show the man she won't be such an easy catch. The nice men no longer approach women, worn out by knee-jerk rejection, and the only men left initiating conversation are the jerks that no nice woman would ever want to date. This is the reason single women today complain incessantly, "There aren't any nice guys out there."

What's a girl to do? Offer to buy the MAN a drink? When even "Hello" becomes suspect, what are we left with as a conversation opener? This is the social reality we now live in. Rather than fight it, Scholfield embraces the current culture and offers a brilliantly simple and effective method of bypassing the resistance faced by both men and women in initiating conversation, and ultimately relationships, with perfect strangers. Acutely aware that the first words out of someone's mouth produce a reflexive response by the object of interest, she succeeds in eliciting a path of natural conversation, avoiding the the awkward, sexualized, and easily rejected path of the pick-up line approach.

As she explains throughout the book, with numerous examples, the "neutral approach" is the most reliable way to quickly and safely get to know a complete stranger, anywhere at any time. This in itself is worth the cost of the book, but Scholfield goes further and describes how to apply the neutral approach method to groups of same or mixed-sex strangers, or those times when you're out with a male/female friend. She also offers a simple but effective way to end the conversation with a confirmed date, or the knowledge that the hot guy/girl you're talking to simply isn't interested, avoiding the hell of waiting for days for the phone to ring.

This book is ingenious. There are plenty of books available on how to build a successful relationship, once you've found the right person. For most people, though, the hardest part about dating is starting a conversation with someone you are attracted to. Screw Cupid is less about "pick-up lines" than it is about facilitating conversation. The method Scholfield describes is easily learned and can be adapted to just about any personality and any age, applied to any social context where there are people--from bookstores to bars, supermarkets to dance clubs. In fact, it can be used just as successfully by men as by women. I wish everyone would read it; then, we would all have a better chance at meeting one of the "good ones."

I found this book to be an entertaining and extremely practical and useful read. It's obvious that Scholfield uses some of the more amusing conversation starters for comedic value, but the base theory - using a question to start talking to the guy you want to talk to - is brilliant. I approach guys. I've never had a problem with it, and the issues that Scholfield hilariously details in the first part of the book can and do indeed happen. Her advice to remain neutral is insightful, and shows a keen understanding of first impressions, initial contact with a good-looking stranger and dating (and life) in general. On either side - whether it's the guy or the girl doing the approaching - anytime it's obvious that the person approaching wants more than the other person does, it's awkward. If that goes away - which is does when you follow Scholfield's advice and remain neutral - the sky is the limit.

She talks about meeting a lot of guys, but it's with the ultimate intention of finding THAT guy. Her focus is definitely on finding quality, but with the practical standpoint that you need to go through some quantity to find that quality. She has a section on online dating - which is where she met her boyfriend, incidentally - and uses her successful email to him as an example. Through that you can see that she uses the very same techniques that she would have used in person to set up their first date.

She also focuses a lot on the fact that although bars and clubs are the common go-to places to meet guys if you're a 20 to 30-something (and I am), that it's the places where sex isn't so on the brain that work best, like hiking, sailing, running clubs, libraries, concerts, cooking classes, etc. And if you don't already do those things, Scholfield says to join a group and get out there. According to her, if you don't like your current dating life, you should mix it up. Simple, but true.

One of my favorite parts is her focus on refining your "List", which she defines as the list of traits that you "must have" in a potential boyfriend, as well as the "no way" traits that you can't stand and would never consider dating. She suggests going through each item on your "list" and then walks you through a process to figure out if that item really needs to be there. All this is done with the intent of figuring out what type of person you REALLY want to be with. Once you know that, you can put yourself in situations where you're more likely to meet him.

All in all, I loved this book. By the end I wanted to spend an afternoon hanging with Scholfield, I liked her so much from her writing.

-Mary in Denver

This book offers women realistic advice on how to approach men. As a single woman, I was frustrated by either not getting hit on or getting hit on by men I was not attracted to. This book gives great advice about how to take more control of dating and just practice talking to men. I like that the book suggests that you just need to try to start a random conversation vs. coming up with something brilliantly witty to say upfront. I also really liked the last two chapters. One talked about deciding what male traits you really want, so you can focus your energy on guys you would actually want to date. The last chapter talks about taking stock of what you bring to the table, so you have things to talk about as well as improve your life independent of some arm candy. A great book for any woman ready to take control and actively find that great guy she's been looking for.

I bought this on a lark and found it to be highly entertaining as well as totally helpful. I am newly single and looking at the sixties all too closely. I wish this book had been around for me thirty years ago!
I found this book to be a great breath of fresh air. Things don't look so bleak all of a sudden. I feel empowered and enthusiastic about looking around now. What fun! Thank you, Samantha.

This book is absolutely GENIUS! I am single, living in San Francisco, and "how to meet guys" is always a topic of conversation among my fellow single girlfriends. As I was reading Screw Cupid I couldn't help but think, "why didn't I think of this!"

Scholfield offers step by step guidance to approaching a guy you are interested in, but without him knowing you are making the first move. Her examples are hilarious! And, of course, she offers a lot of options so there is bound to be one you can see yourself using. I am a fairly shy person and want my fellow shy girls to know that the theories in this book WORK! While in the airport last week I approached a guy that was standing in front of me in the baggage check line using the "need for information approach" and before I knew it we were saying farewell at the security check line- and he had my number in hand with plans to meet when we both returned.

While reading Screw Cupid, I felt like I was catching up with my best friend, listening to her dating stories. Scholfield's experience is totally relatable, the and the advice is solid. Finally, a dating book that proves dating doesn't have to be scary!

I'm Samantha's boyfriend, and I can report from first-hand experience that the techniques from this book definitely work.

i've always thought that generic dating advice is just inherently ridiculous - how could one book possibly address the issues and troubles of so many different types of people? i mean seriously, there are infinite unrequited love scenarios and infinite ways of being insecure (especially for single women), so how could one book hope to help any of them? i picked up this one, initially (i'll admit) with the intention of flipping through and mocking it, until it hooked me with some funny stories and got me interested, and then i sat down and read the whole thing. i was truly impressed with how insightful it is, and just how much it works and would for everyone, because it amazingly gets at one of those fundamental human truths: we are so caught up in how THEY see us, that we can't just relax and have a conversation and actually connect. duh, right? but this book actually has an obvious but strangely brilliant solution to that universal problem.

essentially, if you approach guys (or anyone really) with neutrality, you lose all of the anxiety or stand-offishness or "sexy" flirting techniques you saw on tv once, or any of the random things we do because we're freaked out and don't really know what else to do, which only serves to mask who we really are. but the thing is, if you aren't thinking of it like you're approaching your possible future husband or some hot guy way out of your league, it's way easier to just TALK to them. and according to this book, if you practice just being open and friendly with all guys, any guys, it won't matter how cute he is and you might actually get a chance to decide whether or not you could stand spending 5 minutes with that really really sexy guy, let alone the rest of your life.

and it's not just some feel-good, you-are-beautiful-and-powerful-be-strong self help book, it's actually practical and entertaining, and puts you in the mood for going out and chilling with whoever comes your way. so in spite of my doubts, i'm officially converted because it's not just a cheesy book written for desperate girls, it's one girl sharing some really freakin good advice that she learned the hard way, and she does it in a charming way that puts you at ease and is really helpful. i would definitely recommend this book to anyone who just wants to make ANY social situation easier, and especially to single girls who are sick of spending their social lives wracked with insecurity. you'll end up loving it :)

I LOVED this book. I am not a teenager anymore or a young adult and I don't go to bars looking for company. However, I do hang out at golf courses and coffee shops and other places where people congregate. I think that, from my experience in trying out Ms. Scholfields' methods, that it is easy to talk to men and perhaps have the opportunity to get to know them better. You don't meet the perfect guy by dating only one of them. "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the handsome prince" is something I read somewhere...

Anyway, this is a funny book in the way it's written - I had to laugh out loud at some of Ms. Scholfield's experiences and her stories about them. If you are into dating at all, this is a great guide on how to meet enough people so you do meet the right one.

I read this book cover to cover and it has more practical, helpful advice than any other book I've had. So far, I've come back to it at least 4 times since I first bought it and it always has something I could use for my situation. I've always been a little shy when it came to guys I thought were really cute and this book seriously helped me work around it. Great read!

This book is pretty funny and witty, it's like reading an email from your BFF! The biggest take-away for me was the section on "Openers"...how to start that conversation with a cute guy you spy across the room. I now realize that I have been doing it all wrong! My friends have had success with the bat-your-eyelashes-and-look-cute strategy....but it never seems to work for me. I get nervous and awkward when the guy actually approaches,....and I BAIL! She nailed it on the head with the concept of neutral openers. Lo-and-behold I already know how to do this, I'm just not doing it at the right time. THIS is what I do when I'm having a "Girls Night Out"... I'll talk to anyone and everyone for a minute or two, about the most random things, and then I'll move on. It's those nights (when I'm trying to bond with my ladies) that I seem to get bombarded by phone numbers! I never realized why.....and now thanks to this book I can keep that carefree attitude whenEVER I go out!

(p.s. I like that the book is pink.)