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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism Paperback – 1995


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Frequently Bought Together

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism + SM 101: A Realistic Introduction + The Loving Dominant
Price for all three: $53.22

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 277 pages
  • Publisher: Mystic Rose Books; 1st edition (1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0964596008
  • ISBN-13: 978-0964596009
  • Product Dimensions: 10.9 x 8.4 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (155 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,305 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Philip Miller and Molly Devon think that S/M is fun, and "that reading about it should be fun, too." Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is definitely fun, not to mention approachable, chatty, and insightful. What makes it truly special, however, is the sheer weight of loving details. There's clear explanations and detailed tutorials for beginners, as general as "safe, sane, and consensual" and as specific as "you will be swinging the whip with your arm pivoting at the shoulder." There's also solid advice, safety measures, steamy suggestions, plenty of black-and-white photographs, useful and humorous drawings, an extensive glossary, and over 900 entries of S/M clothing and equipment vendors, publications, computer bulletin boards, and organizations worldwide. As sadomasochism is a practice that's still taboo for many people, the chapter on finding partners and sharing your fantasies with existing partners can be invaluable.

Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics--bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It's written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it's easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration. Miller and Devon's explanations of not just the how, but also the why, of sadomasochism are honest, sexy, funny--and a must-have for anyone who wants to learn about sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, or bondage. --Cheryl Trooskin


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Customer Reviews

This was the first book I bought on BDSM, several years ago... and I'm glad!
H. Dennis
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested or curious about this type of lifestyle.
B. Gough
The book is very well organized and easy to read and the authors have a great sense of humor.
Shea Thomas

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

130 of 131 people found the following review helpful By SH in Tampa on December 30, 2000
Format: Paperback
If you are new to the scene and want to become familiar with the majority of the techniques that you may wish to try then this book is an excellent guide. To begin, it walks through the terminology, the basic mental and emotional elements in SM play, an overview of "scene" and how S&M relationships can be negotiated. Once the book has prepared you with the basic elements of how to enjoy S&M play, it moves into actual techniques: a safety overview, waxing, bondage, flogging, spanking and humiliation. It finishes with a discussion of how to build, transport and hide your dungeon "toys".
Even if you are an experienced scene player, it is unlikely that you are conversant with every possible type of play, so this book serves as a helpful reminder of the basic techniques. While it does not cover the more extreme types of play - water sports, blood sports or mummification, it is comprehensive in it's coverage of the most standard types of play.
Although this book is written by a hetero male dominant and a female submissive, the words of wisdom contained are applicable to everyone. I personally found that having both partner's perspective was very helpful when trying to construct my own session.
If you are looking to get into S&M, this book is a great start to begin play at home. Miss's Abernathy's Concise Guide to Slave Training is an excellent next step. And once you are feeling confident in your private relationship, SM 101 by Jay Wiseman will give you enough credibility to feel comfortable in visiting "public" scene events.
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72 of 73 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on October 10, 2000
Format: Paperback
With 25 five star reviews another is hardly necessary. But this book is everything it should be. its funny, its informative, its approachable and its fun! Easily the best "how to" book on D/s SM ever written.
"Screw the roses" covers most topics in SM play: bondage, spanking, humilation, flogging, types of whips, gear, contact groups, medical issues, safety issues, post-scene comforting and mental aspects. It goes into details on all of the less extreme practices. It treats the more extreme things such as breath play or cutting much more briefly, pretty much warning people off them.
It is full of practical advice and good safety tips. These are punctuated with amusing and erotic personal anecdotes that help keep the reading fun and light. One of the things I most admire about "Roses" is that safety is practically a mantra repeated through out the book. Overall a must have book.
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70 of 75 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 11, 2001
Format: Paperback
The reviews for this book are extensive, with most recommending this book for beginners, which I agree with. The book seems especially appropriate for people who may otherwise think SM is a bizarre and scary activity that appeals only to deviants. I think it would be an excellent way of introduction for a vanilla partner. What's good about this book-for me at least-was almost completely overshadowed by the cutesy, juvenile attempts at humor that are found thoughout the book. Perhaps it "lightens up" the subject matter, but I found these attempts at humor tedious. Also, the illustrations and B&W photography is dreadful. They look like 3rd generation copies. The illustrations of knots and bondage-among other things-are pretty much useless since they're so unclear they can't be followed. While whether one appreciates the writing style is a subjective matter, there's no excuse for poor quality illustrations and photographs in a how-to book. Unfortunately, these are major flaws in what would otherwise be a good intro. to SM. I would expect better quality for a book in this price range.
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35 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Katy on January 8, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have just recently entered this alternative lifestyle and wanted more information. Rather then badger my freinds with questions, I picked up this book. I devoured it. It disspelled any fiction that I had and gave me the cold hard facts.
Answered all questions I had, alleviate any fears and left me with nothnig but anticipation to put forth my newly acquired knowledge.
I would recomennd this book to anyone who was also looking to delve into this lifestyle or even for the passing curiosity people.
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63 of 69 people found the following review helpful By Rinny on August 20, 2001
Format: Paperback
When I was first learning about SM, I was full of the usual stereotypes and misinformation about it. IMHO, to understand and appreciate SM, it is essential for one to realize that SM turns everything on its head. 'Nothing is what it seems', so to speak. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns does that better than any other book I've read on the subject, and it does so with abundant love. After reading a few pages of Molly Devon and Philip Miller's book, my unfounded fears about what SM was began to melt away. The book is written with so much love and playfulness that one cannot help but see and feel it. And once the fear from all those inaccurate myths is dispelled, there is room for the *delicious* fears with which safe, sane, and consensual SM abounds. And the loving playfulness is contagious! For these reasons (in addition to those discussed by other reviewers), I highly recommend this book, *especially* for all novices. It is my very favorite! Read, learn, and enjoy.....yummmmm!!
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81 of 90 people found the following review helpful By TammyJo Eckhart VINE VOICE on November 13, 2001
Format: Paperback
This is a good introductory guide on BDSM for heterosexual, male dominant and female submissive couples and for others who view BDSM as a form of sexual and romantic play. It is not, as some reviewers both on the book itself and elsewhere, claim the most complete BDSM guide today -- it never claims to be that either. It is simply what it claims, one couples' view of BDSM that may click well with others of a similar bent. However, the tone is a bit sarcastic at times and a bit "in scene" at other times and this may confuse very new people so I recommend other books such as the "Topping Book" and the "Bottoming Book" by Greenery Press first and if you can find a copy, Pat Califia's "Sensuous Magic" as a basic intro to the activities of SM. In 1,000 words there is little time to go into all the good and bad points about this book but I hope this can aid in deciding whether or not to buy.
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