The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat [Hardcover]

Elizabeth Landers (Author), Vicky Mainzer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 27, 2005

You+ve heard it before: Your friend's husband is acting distant, and she blames herself. Rumor starts to spread that he's running around with his secretary, and still your friend doesn't see. Then he drops the Bomb, moves out-and is soon happily remarried to his mistress. How could your friend have been so blind? That could never happen to you.Statistics show that 35% of husbands cheat on their wives. In The Script, Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer take readers through the standard lines that have been used by hundreds of unfaithful husbands.Like a screenplay for a movie you never wanted to see, The Script indicates which signs to look for, red flags you might not have noticed before, and how to turn the tide of disaster before it's too late.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

: Vicky Mainzer and Elizabeth Landers met as co-chairs for the San Francisco University High School’s Decorator Showcase fundraiser in the 1980s. Liz has been a successful advertising salesperson, a stock broker, the president of Hadassah San Francisco and a full-time mother. She currently divides her time between New York and Grosse Point, MI. Vicky has been a nurse, an event planner and a volunteer coordinator. She now lives in Pocatello, ID.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Hardcover: 173 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (April 27, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401302289
• ISBN-13: 978-1401302283
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #530,348 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Consolation for Women Surviving Betrayal and/or Divorce, June 27, 2005

By 

O. Brown "Ms. O. Khannah-Brown" (Twopeas, WA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat (Hardcover)

****

This book is a quick and comforting read for those women who suspect their husbands may be cheating or for those women who are going through a divorce. I enjoyed it too, though, because I feel that it will prepare me should I ever be in this situation.

The basic premise of the book is that men who cheat follow a predictable Script, and that they always have followed this Script throughout history, always telling women the same things in order to relieve themselves of guilt and make themselves look good. Men will do most anything to make themselves look good and come out on top, even things that would be out of character for them when they were married and devoted---I agree with this assertion from the book (based on my own personal experience).

While it's true that this book is not based upon scientific studies, it is based upon anecdotal experience that every woman is familiar with if she has ever had a friend, sister, or mother who has been betrayed by their spouse. I think the book is incredibly valuable because it helps the betrayed woman not feel alone, not feel like she is "unstable" or going crazy, not feel like it's all her problem.

If you know of someone who is trying to survive betrayal and/or divorce by a cheating husband, or if you even suspect this, it would be a great book for both you and for her.

****

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I acted out the "Script", April 26, 2005

By 

Jane's Joe "Jane's Joe" (Texas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat (Hardcover)

I heard two ladies speaking of this book in a cafe yesterday. Apparently it is hot off the press, but I found it easily at a local book store. I thought it might be interesting because I am the ex-husband of a woman I cheated on. I opened it and finished it within a few hours becuause I couldn't believe my eyes! Reading the "Script" was an insight into my own behavior. I was caught on a behavioral roller coaster, not even aware of my own actions, comments, treatment of my wife. I actually ACTED out the "Script". Had I or my wife realized which "scene" I was in/on, we may have been able to twart the final result...I cheated and she left me. Not every man may follow the "Script" exactly because each man is an individual. He may enter "stage left" or "stage right." However I think any couple in crisis, especially where the man (or even woman) is/will be cheating, will find contents and resources in this book helpful to save the marraige/relationship before it's too late. I know I wish I had known I was acting the "Script" before it was too late.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good info, but disagreed with advice, November 5, 2009

By 

Elisabeth - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat (Paperback)

This book follows the script a man will tell when he's contemplating committing adultery, when he actually goes through with it, when he leaves his wife for his mistress, and how he responds to life with his new mistress.

The first part of the book deals with the script a man tells when he's contemplating and has actually gone through with committing adultery.

In this section, the author advises women to act like doctors and treat the pain early while the problem is still small.
The author's idea of treating the pain early is basically figuring out a way to stop him from either committing adultery or if he has, from leaving you for her.
They tell women to do their best to look attractive, keep the home neat and comfortable, show him lots of appreciation and give him attention.

Now, I don't have a problem with this advice in general, but when the motivation to do these things is fear-based, then I do.
It's a way of transferring responsibility for whether or not he cheats onto the woman.

The visual I get is of a mother knowing that when her little boy gets bored or frustrated, tends to act out, so she scrambles to appease him so he won't act out.
But in this case, it's a wife trying to appease an adult man before he acts out by committing adultery.

It's unhealthy to spend your married life walking on eggshells, worried that if you're not the perfect wife, you'll be cheated on.
Every marriage has it's stressful times. How your husband responds to these stressful times will depend on his ability to cope with problems in a mature and healthy way.

Another problem with this advice is the underlying insecurity of it...that women should try to compete with mistresses, but this is unrealistic.
A mistress specializes in fantasy life, where a man has no obligations and can just revel in pleasure. Her spending a short amount of time with him means this fantasy can go on for a long time.
So unless a wife plans to spend a limited amount of time with her husband and absolves her husband of all marital responsibilities, she should give up trying to compete.

There's always going to be women out there who do it better than you and that your husband will find more attractive than you.
But whether or not these women are allowed to get intimate with your husband will be up to your husband, not you.
You either married a man who cherishes you in spite of your flaws or you didn't.
You either married an honorable man who faces his problems like an adult or you didn't.
It's important to know what you do and do not have control over.

Another thing that bugged me was when the authors tell women they should be happy when a man is rude and critical with them because at least they're communicating. Hurray!
This lets men off the hook, though, because they don't have to expend any energy considering their wife's feelings before they blurt things out.
They can fall on the excuse that that's just how men are raised...and sadly, the author's use this excuse too.
I think, though, if you expect little from men, you'll get little in return. But if you expect adult behavior from an adult, you'll either get a man who surprises you with the maturity neither of you knew he had or you'll get a little boy who throws a tantrum at being challenged and runs to a less challenging woman.
But either way, at least you handled the situation with maturity.

The second part of the book deals with the script a man tells when he announces he's leaving his wife for his mistress.
The advice gets better here because the authors advise women to protect their assets and stick up for themselves.

But then things fall apart again in the last part of the book that deals with the script a man tells when he's already left his wife.
The problem is at the very end, the authors hint to men that they shouldn't leave their wives because things won't work according to his plan.
He won't get all the property he thought he would, he won't get to hang out with his wife's friends anymore, married couples will not hang with him because his lifestyle threatens theirs, and sex with his mistress won't be any better than with his wife.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want a man to stay married to me for these reasons.
I'd only want a man to stay with me because he cherishes and respects me.
None of these are reasons the author gives. Instead it's telling a control freak that he'll lose his power and lose the perks of married life. The reasons are selfish and involve using his wife.

I don't think these men had the emotional maturity to handle an adult relationship and thus make good partners. They were like little kids throwing tantrums whenever things didn't go their way. They got upset if dinner wasn't ready as soon as they got home. Nevermind it was because his wife was busy taking care of the kids and other responsibilities. They got upset if the advice they gave wasn't immediately taken without question. Nevermind that when you give someone advice, you should give it knowing it may not always be taken. THey couldn't seem to accept their wives had minds of their own.

I still gave this book 3 stars because I think it's important to expose the games cheaters play. However, I disagreed with the author's advice on how to deal with those games.