Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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49 of 51 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Now possible: guilt-free community development in the church, April 12, 2004
I've been to countless seminars and read probably dozens of books on small group ministry. For the past couple of decades, we have consistently heard that the right small group programs will grow our church, create fully-devoted Christ-followers, ease the burden on pastors, return us to New Testament Christianity, etc. I've spoken loudly to that effect myself.Yet as I have tried to implement them, I've found that either it doesn't work as well as advertised or there must be something wrong with me. Sure, there have been many people helped through small groups, but the small groups have also been accompanied by frustrations. Balancing fellowship-vs-study/accountability is always difficult; many people just aren't ready for that level of intimacy and accountability; and it usually isn't the ideal next-step for newcomers. On the other hand, the relationships built there are often very important to people. But now there's a fresh answer to help make some sense of it all. Joseph Myers' "The Search to Belong" is a timely and refreshing look at what community really is. He explodes some of the myths of belonging that we have often believed. He helps us see, through research and experience, the four different "spaces" of belonging--public, social, personal, and intimate. What's more, he helps us see the value of each space, how relationships are carried on in each space, and how to balance them. Bottom line, people can feel a substantial level of belonging to a church on many different levels. Understanding people's genuine community needs, and working with it and affirming it will get us a lot farther than trying to fit everyone into the "intimacy" mold. Myers has an inspiring chapter on "Searching for a Front Porch" in which he challenges us to find ways to interact with others in the in-between land of social, neighborly friendships--not "out there" in the public world, but also not "in here" in my private home. The book is probably worth it just for that chapter. Not only are the principles in "The Search to Belong" applicable to church leadership, but understanding the four spaces of belonging goes a long way toward understanding our other relationships--in our marriage and family, neighborhood, work, etc. Good stuff; worth the read.
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Rethinking Small Groups, September 23, 2003
For several years my library has been littered with books describing how small group ministries are the salvation of the church. Any number of authors use anecdotal and biblical evidence to suggest that inimate small groupings are the ideal for the church, and that churches who want to survive and grow need to spend all their energy on small groups.Joe Myers, on the other hand, brings years of church experience and thorough research on the nature of community to suggest that the small group movement in Christendom might not be all that it's cracked up to be. With this book, Myers invites questioning on the assumptions of small group ministries, and renergizes other types of ministries as well. The core of Myer's work is based on the work of Edward T. Hall, who identified four types of social space: public, social, personal, and intimate. Building on Hall's research on the four spaces, Myers suggests that far too much time and energy has been directed on promoting intimate space as the ideal. Rather, churches need to not equate intimacy with significance. Thus, perhaps more efforts need to be directed at appreciating the value of public space, and promoting opportunities for social and personal space. Focusing on the need for social space, Myers suggests that the loss of the front porch in American society (a primary mediator of social space) has been appropriated and devalued by the church. Myers argues for reclaiming the front porch mentality, which he sees behind the success of Starbucks and other gathering oriented businesses. However, Myers doesn't only deal with theory. The book is written in a personal, narrative style filled with anecdotes and examples of what Myers is trying to say. His last chapter in particular describes an on-going conversation with a pastor in a local church who uses Myers thoughts as a basis for rethinking the ministries of their church. This chapter offers a practical application of what Myers is trying to say. My one fear with this book is it's publication as a part of the Emergent/YS line will cause individuals to think that Myers work is limited to ministries in the postmodern setting. Myers book transcends the category of "emerging church," offering great insight for churches of all types, theological backgrounds, and ages. I don't know how folks from an evangelical, conservative, mega-church background will relate to Myers work. What I do know is that it speaks to this mainline pastor in a medium sized congregation. Myers helps me to regain a sense of balance regarding the types of ministry available in my church. And I believe that his words offer a balance that would be helpful to all.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Small Groups Pastor's Perspective, March 15, 2006
This book has given meaning and a new understanding to what I experienced in my neighborhood as a child. On summer nights, people lounged the remainder of their day away on their front porches. Others who were taking a walk would stop and linger for conversation. Conversations tended to be light hearted, but sometimes burdens were shared. I loved my neighborhood because I belonged to it. Certain adults knew my name- or at least who I belonged to: "your Bob Klug's son". They talked to me like I mattered and told on me because I mattered. After college I returned to the city. I got to know my neighbors again. When my (parked) car was hit by a drunk driver, three of my neighbors hopped in their cars and chased him. Why did these men take such a risk? I made conversation with them on the side walk, but I did not have a deep or personal relationship with any of them. I think the reason these men were willing to pursue the drunk driver was because we belonged to each other. We knew it could be a dangerous world out there, so we watched out for each other. Through the years, my focus became so small group oriented that somehow I lost the importance of "front porch" communities. This book convincingly makes the case that people have a need to belong in "four spaces": 1) public; 2) social; 3) personal and 4) intimate. At the public and social levels, community "belonging" has fewer expectations and is experienced more easily, but not with as much meaning or spiritual benefit. Though people long for deeper community, many are afraid of it at the same time. We need to give people space, a place where they are comfortable connecting. These large group "spaces" are significant to an effective discipleship strategy when they serve to lead people into "one another" relationships. Jesus had His "Sons of Thunder", twelve, "followers", parties and the multitude. Yet it is clear to me that His focus was on a small group of men... Once people have a sense of belonging to our church, it is more likely that they will walk with us into deeper levels of community. We need to let them taste the sweetness of biblical community. If we keep them connected, with well laid plans and by the power of God we can lead more people to a small group.
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