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Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies
 
 
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Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies [Hardcover]

Susan Davis (Author), Gina Hyams (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 21, 2006
Twenty-five bestselling and award-winning female writers explore the emotional minefield of mother-nanny relationships

From coast to coast, articles and commentary on the new nanny culture abound. Nanny novels have captured public imagination to bestselling results, and thousands of “how to hire a nanny” guides are purchased every year. But no book has addressed the unique intimacy and intensity of the nanny-mother relationship through narrative with the depth and sensitivity found in Searching for Mary Poppins.

Susan Cheever, Marisa de los Santos, Joyce Maynard, Daphne Merkin, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Roxana Robinson, Rebecca Walker, and Elizabeth Graver, along with seventeen other leading women writers, explore the nanny conundrum, delving into the complex issues that today’s mothers experience when they turn the care of their children over to a stranger. Raising questions that reach beyond money, race, class, gender, immigration, and legality into the darkest areas of love and fear that a mother feels, they offer viewpoints both rivetingly disparate and hauntingly familiar.

Providing hope, solace, and welcome perspective on this one-of-a-kind relationship, Searching for Mary Poppins sheds light on why nannies make us think so hard about who we are and what we want. BACKCOVER: “If you are a mother, a father, a child, a nanny, a prospective parent, or merely interested in the fascinating, complicated, intense, and poignant relationship between nannies and parents, you will find this book very hard to put down.”
—Susan Orlean, author, The Orchid Thief

“This marvelous, often moving, collection of essays contains at least two deeply comforting lessons: one: there are no perfect nannies; two: there are no perfect mothers. How miraculous then, that so many of us manage to produce perfect children. And, with insights from this book, they will multiply.”
—Susan Stamberg, Special Correspondent, National Public Radio

“Deeply personal and cumulatively political, these powerful essays are cautionary tales, love letters brimming with gratitude, dark confessions. They are full of true heartache, hard-earned wisdom, and inspiration.”
—Julianna Baggott, co-author, Which Brings Me to You



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Happy families may be all alike, but as it turns out, so are families that hire nannies. In this collection of 24 essays, Davis and Hyams have selected essays that examine the relationship between mothers and their child-care givers. "Employing a nanny is beyond a necessity," they assess. "It becomes a question of identity." The very nature of an anthology—writers writing about their lives—also leads to this collection's main problem: the vast majority of these mothers are looking for help while they stay at home to write. There are no CEOs who must desperately look for backup care when the nanny is sick, no blue-collar workers who must figure out how to make a living while still paying for child care. Each mother is trying anxiously to please both nanny and child. When the circumstances are exceptional, so are the essays, as Andrea Nakayama's story of the "manny" hired as her husband was dying, and Ann Hood's piece about the nanny who cared for her now-deceased daughter. Daphne Merkin's essay is the strongest, focusing on her own childhood experiences with a nanny. Mothers who hire nannies will certainly appreciate this anthology, but the complete story surely lies somewhere between The Nanny Diaries and this. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Davis and Hyams compile two dozen essays by contemporary women writers exploring the many facets of 'the nanny-mother tango.' The relationship between a woman and her child's caretaker can be 'a complicated dance.' This collection includes a diverse group of talents, including Susan Cheever, Marisa de los Santos, Joyce Maynard, Daphne Merkin, Roxanna Robinson and Rebecca Walker, writing about their sometimes wonderful, sometimes horrible (and almost always awkward) relationships with their children's nannies. The very intimate position of sharing the role of mother (and sometimes a living space as well) with another woman-often one with a vastly different background than the mother-has been an intense experience for the authors of this collection. While each story is different, common emotional themes emerge, among them love, guilt, betrayal, gratitude, insecurity and loss. Sometimes humorous and often touching, this is an honest exploration of the well of feelings inspired by the nanny-mother relationship. Includes a foreword by All Things Considered's Melissa Block. -- Kirkus Reviews

In Searching for Mary Poppins, mothers write about their relationships with their nannies, and no, it isn't all middle-class white-woman angsting. Editors Susan Davis and Gina Hyams drew pieces from notable authors, including Roxana Robinson, Rebecca Walker, Jaqueline Mitchard, Karen Shepherd and Alice Elliott Dark, with highly individual experiences. Robinson, for instance, recalls the moment she had it all-the handsome husband, the beautiful baby, the stately townhouse, the fabulous job, and the coveted French nanny. That was the moment just before she had to fire the nanny for drinking on the job. Mitchard writes about the farm girl she hired who was wonderful in every respect, except for the woman's intrusion into her marriage and her determination to indoctrinate the children in her fundamentalist beliefs. Anne Burt's nanny was so caring and so nurturing that Burt was reduced to stalking her by telephone when the woman left. Collectively, these writers explore the inevitably complicated bond between mother and caregiver. -- Sherryl Connelly, New York Daily News

This collection of 24 commissioned essays covers the varied experiences these professional writers had with caregivers for their children. Editors Davis and Hyams have done a remarkable job of pulling together writing mothers willing to bare their souls, revealing the joy, guilt, relief, and fear of employing a nanny (the issue of the privileged concept of hiring a nanny is not disregarded). The pieces, roughly divided into four sections, are well written, hauntingly honest, and thought-provoking, progressing from hiring a nanny to negotiating a relationship with this 'other mother,' dealing with tensions and with the end of the relationship. Woven throughout are universal themes class, work, family, and values but the contributors avoid preachy moralizing or sweeping generalizations. A foreword by Melissa Block (host of All Things Considered on National Public Radio) engages readers from the first page. With more and more families hiring nannies every year, this work will resonate with mothers around the country. -- Erica L. Foley, Library Journal

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Hudson Street Press (September 21, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594630232
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594630231
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.8 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,170,428 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read!, December 7, 2006
This review is from: Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies (Hardcover)
I was quite excited to read this book having been a (British) professional nanny for a long time. I found the book to be very touching and felt like I could go on reading about the relationships between mother's and nannies forever, it was really interesting to take a glimpse into the lives of these families. (I was hoping for a great story about a Brit nanny and mother relationship). I really do recommend that parents and nannies read this fabulous collection of stories.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Like therapy for moms with nannies!, July 12, 2007
This review is from: Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies (Hardcover)
This book is FABULOUS. I was sad when it ended. It's good for a few reasons: it consists of short stories, so you can read when you only have a few minutes, it brings out the feelings you didn't know you had about having a nanny (besides sometimes guilt), you see life and motherhood from many mom's perspectives, and you find yourself saying, "yes, I know!" to many statements made. It's a great read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A great reflection on motherhood, February 27, 2010
This review is from: Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies (Hardcover)
Much more than a book about nannies. These stories really go to the core of what it is to be a mother and how we all struggle and shine in that roll. Fabulous read.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
male nanny, other nannies, new nanny
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Mary Poppins, United States, New Haven, Valentine's Day, American Dream, Essie Mae, New Jersey, Professor Trelawney, San Francisco, South Carolina
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