Customer Reviews

Sex and the Seasoned Woman (Random House Large Print)

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I loved Gail Sheehy's "Passages" and have, for many years, used the concepts in it in my work. Her great gift is to collect examples of complex human behavior and add value by then having these seemingly random observations come together into a sensible, useful pattern. She creates "buckets" and then deepens our understanding by explaining the contents of these buckets with insightful personal illustrations and storytelling.

Honestly, I'd not followed her career since that time, and read this book on recommendation of a friend. I was enormously glad I did.

Sheehy's pervasive curiosity and optimism inform every page. After being exposed to a fairly rigorous framework for viewing women after age 40, we learn that 40% or so are into or ready for functioning as "seasoned women." These are courageous, life-embracing people who have learned but not become embittered, and who enjoy life from a platform of risk acceptance out of self-confidence in these learnings.

It's not a retelling of "Sex in the City." If you're looking for endless dishing, you might come away really disappointed. However, there is plenty of wonderful storytelling. And the stories are not just about finally ending WMD* marriages. They also affirm the deepest satisfactions of long-term relationships and disclose some wisdom about how to keep those relationships viable and, more importantly, personally rewarding for all concerned.

My personal understanding of how women at this age think and function was deepened immeasurably. And I was left with a great optimism about the future we all share.

"Life is what we make it." Optimism is a choice, and the wisest choice any of us can make. I thank Gail for giving us all this wonderful book.

I first found out about this book in January, 2006 when Parade Magazine wrote 2 pages about it. I was shocked at how much I saw about my self in those short pages. Feelings which I thought I alone had and then to see it on paper and to know that others of "seasoned age" were feeling the same things made me feel vindicated and that I was not "one of a kind." Needless to say, as soon as it came out, I read it. Sheehy comes up with categories and then elaborates on them. It was very easy to place myself in one.

To my way (60+ years) of thinking, this is not a book about titillation but about feelings and enlightenment. It helped me reassess my life and goals because at this age, "it ain't over till it's over" and we should enjoy each day to the fullest.

Thanks Gail. You and I are the same age and we have "grown up" together from "Passages" to "The Silent Passage" and now to this book and each one was timely to my age at the time. I have recommended the other books to close friends as I read them and now have purchased several of these books to give to close friends so they, too, can find the Seasoned Woman in themselves.

What I find so offensive and patently dishonest from this book is the double standard of characterizing men and women. An example of this is the snide nasty way she refers to men who leave a relationship for a younger woman. But for the women in her examples it is honored and freeing- they got the young buck. Her disdain for men throughout the book is apparent. The whole read, while flowing and easy is set on creating a reality through sketchy examples of women's life stories that seems manipulated to fulfill her vision of how the world should be. There are some empowering nuggets, but taken in context of the whole message and journey in the book ultimately it is simply a sad display that will offer little real help to women and men who will come to realize that this the real world and Gail Sheehy is living in a fantasy world.

Gail Sheehy's SEX AND THE SEASONED WOMAN: PURSUING THE PASSIONATE LIFE also enjoys a reading by the author as it surveys women's love and sex lives after 50. Boomer women in midlife are still open to sex, love and marriage changes: Sheehy describes how, using interviews and research to fuel her insights.