Customer Reviews

Second Chance: Biblical Principles of Divorce and Remarriage (Biblical Blueprints)

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It has been six years since I read this book but its impact remains to this day. As a Christian I had always had a very narrow definition of "grounds for divorce". When my husband of 10 years let me know he wanted a divorce I was devastated. How could I do this? What about remarriage? Was I destined for singleness as a result of this? I read this book with thoughtfulness, prayer and an anguished soul. By the time I was finished I had peace, confidence and hope. Reading this book enabled me to see marriage as a covenant and divorce as the breaking of a covenant. This book does not offer a quick fix or easy answers for someone who wants to get out of a marriage but seriously looks at what constitutes the breaking of a marriage covenant and what the Bible has to say about divorce and remarriage. I highly recommend it to anyone searching for a Biblical perspective on divorce and remarriage. Thank you Ray Sutton and Gary North.

I've read several books on the subject of divorce and remarriage, but this one was the most enlightening. It was taken straight from the Word of God and addressed many areas that I had not seen addressed before. It was a very great encouragement to me (being the innocent party going through an adulterous divorce.) It assured me that I had done things God's way so far and gave me hope that I am free to enter a second marriage with God's blessing. I highly recommend it to any Christian who wants to be obedient to God's Word while dealing with divorce.

This book by Ray Sutton has been important to my development on the issue of divorce. The book has completely changed my thinking on how a Christian should approach the difficult topic of divorce and remarriage.

In _Second Chance_ (1988), which you can download for free, Sutton rejects the "no divorce/no remarriage" view which was and is commonly held among more conservative Christians. In this view, it is held "that under no circumstances is divorce permitted, and if it happens to an innocent spouse, he or she is not allowed to remarry." (p. 7) Not only is the view lacking the support of Scripture, Sutton argues that it likely promotes promiscuity since it's a "solution" to the problem of marital breakdown that's simply not practical.

Sutton also rejects the laissez faire view of divorce/remarriage, which holds that "anything goes."

From what other perspective, then, can divorce/remarriage be viewed? Sutton's solution is to look at the issue from a covenantal perspective. If marriage is a covenant, then guidance on the issue of divorce/remarriage must be determined by looking to the Bible's teaching on covenants.

Says Sutton:

"Marriage is a picture of the God-to-man covenant: Paul says, "Just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ has loved the Church" (Ephesians 5:22-25). So all we need to do is examine how a covenant is made and dissolved at the God-to-man level, so as to understand the principles of divorce and remarriage at the marriage level. In other words, making or renewing a covenant between God and man is analogous to forming a marriage covenant or entering a second marriage, and dissolving a covenant is analogous to divorce.

"For example, when the God-to-man covenant is violated, God begins a process called a covenantal lawsuit. He sends His messengers or witnesses of the covenant to prosecute the offending party. If the guilty party does not repent, then He divorces the offender. As in the case of the Laodicean church, Jesus says to them that He is the witness bringing a lawsuit and He will dissolve His covenant with them if they don't repent..." (pp. 10-11)

The structure of the book follows what Sutton believes to be the structure of any biblical covenant:

Transcendence: God is the originator of all covenants.
Hierarchy: God establishes authorities over us in our covenant with him.
Ethics: Covenants involve demands (law) and require faithfulness to those demands.
Sanctions: A covenant is entered by receiving and making promises under the condition of death.
Continuity: Faithfulness to a covenant is rewarded with an inheritance.

Based on this structure of biblical covenants, the first five chapters in _Second Chance_ deal with principles for divorce that are derived from the five parts of a biblical covenant. Ditto for chapters six through ten, which offer five principles for remarriage.

_Second Chance_ is strongly argued on several fronts. The book has a strong theological focus and a strong exegetical basis. But the pastoral emphasis is not lacking either. Sutton is not only a pastor, but a counselor with experience in the area of divorce/remarriage. This is clear as one moves through the book, particularly in the final three chapters where Sutton applies the principles of divorce/remarriage to real-life situations.

Much more can be said about this book, but the main point is that Sutton brings clarity to the issue of divorce/remarriage by arguing covenantly. Instead of restricting himself to one or two verses in the New Testament, he looks to the whole counsel of God for guidance on the issue.

Below is a summary of more specific points Sutton makes in the book:

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Divorce

I began in the first half of book with the subject of divorce. I started each chapter with the covenant to understand how a marriage covenant is dissolved and broken. Accordingly, I isolated five principles of divorce according to the five points of the covenant.

First, I presented the principle of creation. All covenants begin here, so we had to begin here before we could ever understand anything about divorce. The principle is that God creates the marriage covenant and consequently there can be no such thing as no-fault divorce. It also teaches that God creates through imputation, a legal declaration on the basis of faithfulness, or a pledge to be faithful. It means that He also dissolves a covenant relationship on the basis of unfaithfulness, or a particular moral fault.

Second, we considered the principle of jurisdiction. It says that a person is bound to his spouse's jurisdiction, or hierarchy, as long as that spouse is alive covenantally or physically. It is based on Paul's comments at the beginning of Romans 7, where he uses life and death in a covenantal context to refer to the termination of a marriage covenant.

Third, we examined the ethics principle. It is the principle of cause and effect. In marriage, it means that if certain capital or covenantal offenses are committed then a person's relationship to God is destroyed and his marriage covenant dies.

Fourth, we studied the principle of protection. It teaches that death is a sanction attached to the covenant, when it is ratified, to protect the innocent party. Death in the form of execution, excommunication or restitution is the appropriate penalty for breaking the covenant vows. When the guilty party enters a false covenant, the third party ends up sanctioning the innocent party through his infidelity.

Fifth, the principle of transfer was presented. Upon the covenantal death of a spouse, the estate should be transferred to the faithful by means of a certificate of divorce.

Remarriage

When I approached remarriage, I used the same covenantal guide. I started with the covenant, specifically the New Covenant, to see how a new marriage covenant could be formed. I suggested five covenantal principles of remarriage.

First, I laid out the principle of new covenant. I said that if God can create a new covenant between man and Himself, then there can be such a thing as remarriage. I clarified that a new covenant is a way of transcending the older covenant, tying this principle into the first point of the covenant.

Second, I established the principle of the statute of limitations. Returning to the second point of the covenant, hierarchy, I said that the death of a spouse has a moral effect on a person that may take a period of time, a statute of limitations, to wear off, before remarriage should be entertained.

Third, I developed the principle of equal yoke. A person considering a second marriage should be careful whom he marries. The Bible says that there should be an equal yoke, so I used the terms of the marriage covenant to clarify what kind of person a divorcee should remarry.

Fourth, the principle of judgment was examined. Before remarriage takes place, two people should go to Biblical counselors to receive judgment on their decision. In other words, they should receive some competent and Biblical person's blessing or cursing. In this chapter, I also gave some guidelines for using counsel.

Fifth, I presented the principle of adoption. I said that the way to deal with the stepchildren problem is to adopt children from previous marriages into the new marriage, to transfer inheritance to them. This way, a whole new life and a whole new inheritance is created for them, removing the level of hostility toward the second marriage. (pp. 168-169)

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I read this book some years ago, loaned it out and never recieved it back. An excellent work, that provides insight and balance concerning this issue as I have never seen before, a must read for any christian dealing with this critical issue of divorce and remarriage.