Customer Reviews

The Second Wives' Club: Secrets for Becoming Lovers for Life

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

As a long time second wife, I found that this book confirmed many of the experiences that I had to learn through trial and error and often tears. It was well written and addressed all the issues that we, as second families, struggle with. I recommend it to all women in my position, especially those just beginning this new adventure. Thank you for sharing your experiences as a second wife. As a professional in the mental health field myself, I have already recommended this book to a client.

Written by a second husband and wife team, this book is "designed to help you and your husband become lifelong lovers," and the authors tell us up front that "Knowledge is power; ignorance is vulnerability." That theme is prevalent throughout the book and makes it a helpful companion so that a second wife can identify and work to solve her problems. Everything is the book is based on the acronym LOVERS, and these points are factored into each solution and idea:

Loyalty
Openness

Value of Trust
Empathy
Respect
Stability of Commitment

We have to deal with a history we may not like or understand, and the difficulties can escalate into crises quickly. The average second marriage lasts only 4.5, years, the authors say, so many of us are struggling. Much of the book is devoted to transcripts from couples in counseling. You'll identify with many of the challenges they discuss.

The authors cover six problem areas, including the ex-wife, the kids, grandkids, the mother-in-law, friends, and damaging memories. Each section includes a quiz and responses and behaviors that will help you deal with the issues of your family.

You'll also see a "How to Find Your Challenge" quiz at the end where you can learn just how serious your problems are. Finally, there are "Help Yourself Tools" that include relaxation exercises, communication skills, problem solving tips and more. This book is straight talk specifically to the second wife -- when you've been there, you understand.

This book has become my new "Bible" that I keep on my nightstand at all times! I have been a second wife for 5 years. Since I began dating my husband we have had lot of problems with his children from his first marriage, his old friends and (especially) from his ex-wife. Although I wish this book had been available years ago, I am grateful that someone finally wrote about this subject. It has already helped us and enriched our lives. The vignettes are about real people and many of the vignettes ring true in my husband's and my life. It's a great book! You'll love it! I even bought one to give my thrice married girlfriend for Christmas!

Overall, I liked this book. I found the section on dealing with "his" friends from the previous marriage very helpful and could relate a lot of the vignettes to my own situation. My husband's friends (who all are still in touch with his first wife) don't really accept me yet. The Second Wives Club book helps my husband and I get through those awkward situations gracefully and with a lot less conflict.

This book is an entertaining way of finding your way thru the daily problems associated with being married a second time. I was amazed at how many of the senarios were on the mark with our situation.

It read quickly and in plain language. But it was deeply moving and inciteful.

I read the book at one sitting, because I really needed some advice and help, and I'm sorry to say I was much disappointed. There were some very specific case studies (which I didn't think had much general applicability), and not much advice on how to deal with problems. There is a great deal of supportive verbiage on how tough it all is, and a lot of general information on how lots of communication is needed, etc., but not much specific. Also, all the cases referred to women who are second wives because of a husband's divorce. I needed and would have appreciated information on how to deal with marriage to someone who has been widowed--it is an entirely different set of problems, but it's no less difficult (possibly it's more difficult), and I know there would be an audience for this.

Loved this book. It is interesting and well-written.....should be required reading for all couples contemplating marriage.

I thought this book was very helpful. When I read it, I suddenly felt like, Wow! Someone has felt exactly how I feel! Which helped me because then I could read how they handled it and how it worked for them. I found the book very helpful and felt better after reading it.

Just Finished reading the Book and it was excellant,well wrote and even for me as a single person I found it most interesting. Hats off to the Authors they really hit the mark with the book!

I found this one hard to read. I've spent the last 6 months preparing for stepmotherhood, and I realize that it's really important to keep my marriage in the forefront of my mind. This book just really didn't do it for me. I must be lucky because my fiance is just the opposite of the men portrayed here. He's supportive, loving, and considers my needs as well as the kids needs the same.