Customer Reviews

Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA

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Suzanne Podobinski leads the Applewood, Long Island elementary school PTA drive to raise funds to build a small stadium with everything going smoothly as everyone is in agreement and gets on with one another. That changes when a Hollywood location scout visits Applewood to ascertain whether Appleton Elementary would make a good locale for a George Clooney movie. That information sends the PTA members squabbling into two camps that of President Suzanne and three opponents.

The enemies of President Suzanne are divided except in opposition to her and not wanting to spend time doing the symbolic PTA gig. Lawyer Maddie Schein is more concerned that her husband desires his cousin not her so the PTA is not important. Songwriter Ruth Moss is tired mentally after three years as the sole caretaker of her partially paralyzed spouse and dreams of making love with Clooney but guiltily settles for a local school superintendent. Lisa Slotnick wife of a millionaire computer genius feels as if her past has destroyed her standing when her alcoholic mother visits her. Still each of these ladies has their own PTA concept and will use extortion and blackmail to achieve their objective; but if they team up watch out Suzanne, Clooney and anyone one else challenging the Applewood PTA insurgency.

Tongue in cheek, this understated battle of the suburban PTA moms is an amusing deep tale that focuses on how important it is to have time for oneself but also must believe in oneself. The four female protagonists are fully developed characters with self anointed VIP Suzanne battling to insure her three opponents remain divided while her adversaries know they must overcome their personal agendas and unite if they want to win. The contest brings out the best and the worst in the Applewood PTA.

Harriet Klausner

If you like Jennifer Weiner, Jennifer Crusie or Susan Issacs, you'll LOVE Ellen Meister's Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA. Fans of Richard Russo, Richard Yates and Tom Perotta will also enjoy the quality of the writing. The novel follows three women who bond when their kids' school is set as a location for a Hollywood movie (starring the fantasy-inducing George Clooney no less). These characters should not be dismissed as mere housewives, as they are very capable women who use their (often hidden) talents to go after what they want. They are sympathetic characters with depth whose friendship helps them overcome their domestic problems as well as a domineering PTA president. It takes place on Long Island, with its micro-stratified society that has distinctions that are imperceptible to outsiders. People there know where they are in the pecking order and feel an acute sense of superiority to those they see below them and harbor envy and resentment towards the people just above them. This fast-paced, very entertaining book is filled with great dialogue, quirky minor characters, laughs, tears and sex. A great beach read or book club choice, it is a book you will recommend to all your friends.

What you notice first and foremost about Ellen Meister's debut novel is how humane she is as a writer. The women she writes about are real--they are not caricatures, they are not stereotypes. Instead they fall down, they embarrass themselves, they lose control. They lust, they fight, they envy, they are jealous. They are passionate, they are smart, they love. Basically, they are human.

And in that, we love them and we root for them. And when the book is at its end, we have a hard time letting them go.

Hard for me to say which of the three main characters is my favorite: is it the brilliant Maddie, who loses some of her self-esteem over the years when she believes that her marriage is broken beyond repair? Or is it quiet and unassuming Lisa, who seethes beneath the surface after a lifetime of taking care of her selfish mother? Or is it Ruth, who lost not only her husband but also the better part of herself after his stroke?

The truth is, they are all my favorites.

I cheered when Maddie realized that her marriage was only wounded from a bit of overuse, and when Lisa realized that she is her own best mother, and when Ruth regained the love of herself and all of the glories she has to offer the world. I cheered because I felt genuine affection for all of these women. I cherished their success and felt comforted by their friendship.

But don't let the serious tone of this reader fool you. What you should know is that this book is also funny. Indeed, there are times when you will laugh out loud and shake your head in wonder at Meister's impeccable sense of timing (not to mention her eye for physical humor).

In short, the book's a gem. And no less a gem is the audio companion--Lisa Kudrow reads with an exceptional ear for character, comedy, and good storytelling. In fact, I can't think of a better reader for the book. My favorite characterization of hers would have to be when she took on Ruth. The voice was exactly as I had heard Ruth in my head.

And so the bringing together of Meister's words and Kudrow's reading means some classic entertainment. You won't want to miss out.

Buy the book, buy the audio. Let yourself be wooed and wowed.

Because I see others have sufficiently given you the plot of Ellen Meister's book, I'd like to offer my opinion as to why this is a "must read".

It's so skillfully written the reader feels like he/she intimately knows the characters, who are all extremely likeable for their faults as well as their strengths. In fact, these are people you wish you knew in real life; people you wish were your friends. The dialogue is extremely intelligent -- it's multi-layered with subtle jokes, wit, and sarcasm...and in some cases, pain. The Applewood setting is perfect, down to the descriptions of houses to some of the various stereotypes which somehow Ms. Meister handles with brilliant twists and turns to make them totally her own.

I found myself rooting for everyone in this sparkling debut novel and the author did not disappoint. And yet the ending was far from predictable, Hollywood happy...again, the author deals us a few pleasant and unexpected surprises.

At the risk of using a cliche, this is one of those books which once you pick it up, you can't put it down. For me, it was one of the most enjoyable reads of 2006.

Buy this book! You will not be sorry.

You're not going to find a bomb-making recipe in this funny novel although you get the sense that some of the characters are quite capable of trying to make one, a small one, mind, that goes fizz in a most spectacular way. Any rate, the novel's still a blast. I, Male, enjoyed it. My kids'school here in Asia has a PTA--I just might have to become more active.

Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is full and rich and generously sprinkled with emotional, humorous, sexy surprises. I had so much fun reading this book. The main characters are likeable and quirky, with lives and families, faults and longings that make you see them as real, complete people.

And the minor characters delight as well: the husband, who, following a drug-induced stroke is left impotent and yet sexually uninhibited; the private investigator who is an emotionally sensitive wreck; the alcoholic blues-singing mother who keeps trying to upstage her talented daughter; the womanizing best-male-friend-turned-almost-lover; the evangelical pure-on-the-surface, animal-in-bed widower who is also Applewood's most eligible bachelor; the smooth-veneered catty PTA maven who has her own dirty little secrets; and, of course, the infamous roving rock that has spawned so much trouble.

But don't believe me: get the book, slip between the covers, and enjoy a seriously funny, engaging, endearing read.

I stayed up again most of the night because I couldn't put Ellen's book down. Finished it and didn't want it to end. It's amazing how Meister can write a book full of constant action and great humor and surprising turn of events that make perfect sense at the same time she achieves the depth and beauty of what most people refer to as "literary writing." Masterful, brilliant, and what a great movie this book would make. I wonder who should play George Clooney?

As a writer, I found the writing itself to be truly incredible. Something to aspire to. A book with such depth of emotion and understanding that is also just a terrific read and so much fun. There are so many laugh out loud moments and characters that manage to be both larger than life and yet true to life. Really. It's just left me in awe of this author's talents. It made me yearn for such a group of friends to be surrounded by, each so complex and fully human.

The private lives of three Applewood, Long Island housewives get thrown into turmoil when a production company announces its interest in filming on location at their elementary school.

Although married and with children, the three characters in Meister's book prove that there's still a whole lot of life, longing, determination, and inspriation in these women. They're great moms who love and care for their kids, but they're also individuals with problems and dreams, turmoil and aspirations that reach far beyond their parenting.

Maddie Schein is struggling to find the spark in her marriage, worried that her husband Bruce finds his own cousin more interesting than his wife. Ruth Moss has been taking care of partially paralyzed, impotent, and brain damaged husband for three years and she longs for the spark of passion herself. Lisa Slotnick's spotlight stealing, alcholic mother throws a monkey wrench into her family life when she needs help rehabbing.

These three women comprise the Applewood PTA sub-committee put in charge of acting as a liason with the film company. But they don't just have their hands full with their personal lives. The school project may also be in jeopardy when PTA president Suzanne decides to wrestle the prestigious control of the project away from the three underlings.

Through plenty of laughter and tears, the three very different women bond together quickly, forming deep friendships and sticking together to hopefully conquer all. Will Maddie find bliss with Bruce? Will Ruth get her mojo satisfied? Will Lisa be able to cope with her demanding mother? And most importantly -- will George Clooney be coming to film his movie in Applewood?

Funny and lovable characters, a can't put-down plot, and great writing make this an incredible novel that you'll savor, even as you race through to find out what happens next. Meister has a gold mine in here, not just with her leading ladies, but also with a truly wonderful supporting cast. From the wisecracking Beryl to punishment loving Paul, Meister brings everyone to life. But Meister doesn't stop with the delightful entertainment; she also mines deep, showing us what makes a woman's heart beat and her soul suffer and soar. You'll be thrilled to get to know everyone in this neighborhood. And then you'll be really sad when you have to say goodbye.

Instead of the usual bake sales or auctions to raise money for a new stadium, it begins to look as if the Applewood PTA has struck it rich - a movie company has scouted their school and thinks it might be the perfect location for a film. Seldom has there been so much excitement in this small Long Island town.

Excitement almost becomes pandemonium when they learn that George Clooney may be the star of the movie.

This debut novel by Ellen Meister is chick lit at its best with sympathetic, likeable characters and sharply drawn dialogue. In addition to the prospect of up close and personal Clooney sightings each protagonist has personal issues with which she must deal. Maddie Schein, a former lawyer, could use some good advice - her marriage is in deep trouble and the appearance of Jack Rose, a friend from college, who wants to have his way with her confuses Maddie even further.

Ruth Moss, according to her friends, seems to have it all - she's wealthy, articulate, and attractive. However, her husband's stroke has left him impotent and her playing full-time nurse and nanny. Lisa Slotnick, loved by all, is shy and most comfortable when not the center of attention. It's hard for her to stay out of the spotlight when her mother , unfortunately, is a loud, abrasive alcoholic.

Last but not least (every book has to have one) there is Suzanne, the uppity, bossy president of the PTA. Her comeuppance is hysterical!

Lisa Kudrow, in her debut as an audio book narrator, gives a star performance as she segues easily from one personality to another. Sometimes the scene is a comic one, at other times it is poignant. We welcome her to the A List of voice performers.

- Gail Cooke

If you want to be bored to tears, lulled along with mopey, mundane, asexual gnomes.... DO NOT READ THIS BOOK.

If you want to laugh, be entertained, have a good time whilst being charmed, READ THIS BOOK.

This is a story of friends who work together on the PTA to get George Clooney to do his movie in their hometown, at their school. No, no, they are NOT Stepford wives. NO, no they do not bore you with martyr mommy stories--you know perfect mommies are poor victims of the world. (come on, tell me you are sick of those stories. Please tell me!) These women are real, funny, over the top crazy, filled with flaws and they love each other. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THIS.

Give yourself a treat. It's like popping chocolate in your mouth. Come on,I know, KNOW you eat chocolate. (I know you do)

Read it.

(and eat chocolate too. I did!)