The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships [Hardcover]

Hilary Black (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 6, 2009

Money issues are the number one cause of problems in relationships. Is money the root of all evil, is it true that money can't buy love? Hilary Black has commissioned original essays from top women writers on the subject of money and relationships and the outcome is an honest, often shocking, sometimes funny and poignant portrait of revelations by women on the very delicate nature of love and money. This collection will spark debate and raise eyebrows across generations.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. While women have made enormous strides in their earning power and financial self-sufficiency in the past century, research shows that many would still be very willing to marry for money, underscoring the complicated nature of women's feelings about social roles, independence and finances. This collection of revealing essays examines women's complex money relationships with partners, parents, children and other loved ones. Contributors, including Kathryn Harrison (The Kiss), Amy Sohn (Run Catch Kiss), Julia Glass (Three Junes) and former Simon & Schuster president Joni Evans, offer intimate glimpses into the shame, fear, insecurities, power struggles and psychological evolutions surrounding earning, spending, sharing, coordinating and managing finances inside and outside of romantic relationships. Unstintingly—even shockingly—candid, the writers describe how their feelings about finances shaped or contributed to good and bad marriages, abuse, divorces, breakups, crushes or even avoidance of relationships. This exceptionally honest and poignant collection deserves a place on the bookshelves of women of all ages, backgrounds, income, net worth levels and walks of life. (Jan.)
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Review

“A compelling new anthology, The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth about Women, Money, and Relationships. In it, a number of prominent female writers (including Julia Glass, Lauri Abraham and Joni Evans) spill the beans about money in their own lives.” (Time magazine )

“Multiple themes are explored in personal and heartfelt ways: money is success, failure, control, submission, love and hate. Money can mean the chance at motherhood or the ruin of a marriage. In the end, money is everything and nothing.” (Forbes )

“The most interesting anthology I’ve seen in years. I read it with fascination, to the very last page.” (Cathi Hanauer, novelist and editor of The Bitch in the House )

“Introducing the 27 emotionally invested and powerfully introspective essays in THE SECRET CURRENCY OF LOVE. All the bases are covered here, from the hard lessons women learn (and impart) to the inextricability of romance and cold hard cash.” (Elle )

“Everyone wants to know their worth, in both love and money — but the lessons lie in the tension between the two. The women who authored this incredible collection of essays dare to get inside that conflict and unpeel the complicated truths that make up our life stories.” (Stacy Morrison, Editor-in-Chief, Redbook Magazine )

“This exceptionally honest and poignant collection deserves a place on the bookshelves of women of all ages, backgrounds, income, net worth levels and walks of life.” (Publishers Weekly (starred review and Pick of the Week) )

“Deeply honest and scandalously revealing, THE SECRET CURRENCY OF LOVE offers a mirror into our own complicated feelings about money and relationships—and every woman who reads it will see herself in its pages. You won’t be able to put it down!” (Liz Lange, Founder, Liz Lange Maternity )

“A compelling new anthology that offers a fascinating look at how women view money that is, by turns witty, scandalous, poignant and heart-rending.” (San Antonio Express-News )

“Well-written first-person accounts result in an engrossing read throughout. It’s easy to be affected by their experiences, with emotions running the gamut of happy to dismay to sadness at some outcomes.” (New Straits Times (Malaysia) )

“Funny, insightful and brutally honest, this book is Sex & The City meets The Wall Street Journal, with a sprinkle of Dostoevsky. Hilary Black has inspired stellar writers to wax poetic (and at times, hilariously pathetic) on the last taboo: money. Juicy, smart, dramatic and insightful—an addictive read.” (Beth Kobliner, author of Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow (January 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061560960
• ISBN-13: 978-0061560965
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #615,479 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Good Idea, poor execution, March 8, 2009

By 

Timothy Mckian - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships (Hardcover)

What started out as a great idea was ruined by poor execution. This book could easily be titled, "Successful New York Women Whining About Money and a couple other good authors".

It is easier to talk about what is missing rather than what is included. First, with the exception of two writers, all contributors are either from the West Coast or New York City region. My assumption here is that there are no women in the north, south or middle of our great country who have anything to contribute to this topic. Another scenario that makes far more sense is that the editor found it easier to tap her stable of "writer friends" for this book. "Hey, Amy, this is Hilary. I have an idea for a book. You will?! Great! Send it to me".

What's also distressing is the cultural mix. With the exception of Elizabeth Williams and Veronica Chambers, there seems to be a severe lack of ethnic representation, unless you're Jewish. I guess it never occured to the Editor that there are Vietnamese women along the Gulf Coast, Middle Eastern Women in Pennsylvania, American Indian women in our heartland, and Hispanic women in the Rocky Mountains who have an incredible insight on this topic. It simply got BOORRRINGGGG reading about the stress each writer was under deciding how to send their child to another high end Bar Mitzvah, trying to afford a higher end New York private school versus a "regular" private school, whether or not to take $30,000 out of a savings account for invitro fertilization or being able to pay over $100,000 to adopt a baby from a very poor family. Also, most of these women admittedly came from economically comfortable backgrounds. It is very hard to take them seriously about money concerns when the worse that could have happened to them is considerably better than what would have happened to the majority of American women under the same conditions.

I was left longing for what this book should have been about. Why does Elizabeth Williams' mother enable her baby brother to skirt the fringes of civilized society by continually giving him money and denying his criminal behavior? What moral currency did Kelli put on the sale of her baby? How do the babysitters view their place in life after taking $100 per night plus tips from our "struggling" authors?

It's also a shame that most contributors treated this assignment like another freelance magazine article. Or maybe that's just the way they were trained during their Ivy League education (paid for by their parents). The ONE person who saved this project for me is Kim Barnes. Her short story, "The Wages of Sin", was emotionally riveting and in the most dynamic way, showed the real cost to one's soul for the financial decisions they make.

Tim

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Strikes several chords with me..., January 19, 2009

By 

BooksJJS "BooksJJS" (Brighton, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships (Hardcover)

I just finished this book and would recommend it with the caveat that it is a collection of essays, rather than any kind of empirical study of women, relationships, and money. It is a fine collection that I enjoyed a great deal.
It was very interesting to see several essays wherein women much younger than my generation (I am 45 soon) are managing money so incredibly poorly. They have options at much earlier ages than we did, and have for the most part been raised in a culture here in America where they can pursue just about any career they like. But still the myth of the prince lives on... and the myth of rescue. Also distressing was the lack of knowledge about basic money skills so many of them had, and on top of that, a total lack of concern about it... or a paralyzing fear that has kept them from getting a grip on financial realities. Especially in these trying financial times, women of all ages need to set aside the rescue fantasy. Far better to build your own succeses and savings and THEN meet Mr. Wonderful... even Mr. Wonderful can get hit by a bus, after all, and then where are you?
This book is a way to look in the mirror and see yourself. I'm betting you will find something of yourself in at least one of the essays, or a you from the past that maybe you're grown beyond. And for getting real about money, read Suze Orman, the financial pages, and your bills and bank statements!! REGULARLY AND ON TIME!! The prince is not coming. Earn and manage the gold yourselves. Share if you are able and want to... but not because you feel you have to.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Privileged women with oversized egos and sense of entitlement, not a serious or eye-opening read, March 28, 2009

By 

Married to a Farmer Boy - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships (Hardcover)

I honestly had high expectations for this book. I thought in this time and age, when women can achieve so much, they can talk honestly about money, relationships, and life. this is not that kind of book, I was extremely disappointed. Majority of these women come from a privileged background. They are majority - there is probably one or two, who represent a minority. There is maybe one or two who truly experienced poverty, hunger, abandonment, war, refugee camp, immigration, slavery, bone-grinding and blood-spilling life situations. These women had the education they wanted, the jobs they wanted, the life they wanted. They chose to not to make money. And now they whine and whine, and whine, and complain how they deserve money. It seemed like they all dreamt about writing a best-seller and forgot to check with the reality. Real people work, they put their kids through the best schools by working 2-3 jobs at a time, they sacrifice. These women, on the other hand, sit at their friends retreat houses and complain on how they deserve to have a luxury lifestyle, Manolo Blahniks, cashmere sweaters by choosing not to work. The sense of entitlement of these women is shocking! Somehow these educated women live in some la-la land. This book doesn't represent neither truth, nor women. It's just a bunch of spoiled women whining non-stop. This book just confirms the stereotypes of women as a burden to men and society.