Customer Reviews

The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

What started out as a great idea was ruined by poor execution. This book could easily be titled, "Successful New York Women Whining About Money and a couple other good authors".

It is easier to talk about what is missing rather than what is included. First, with the exception of two writers, all contributors are either from the West Coast or New York City region. My assumption here is that there are no women in the north, south or middle of our great country who have anything to contribute to this topic. Another scenario that makes far more sense is that the editor found it easier to tap her stable of "writer friends" for this book. "Hey, Amy, this is Hilary. I have an idea for a book. You will?! Great! Send it to me".

What's also distressing is the cultural mix. With the exception of Elizabeth Williams and Veronica Chambers, there seems to be a severe lack of ethnic representation, unless you're Jewish. I guess it never occured to the Editor that there are Vietnamese women along the Gulf Coast, Middle Eastern Women in Pennsylvania, American Indian women in our heartland, and Hispanic women in the Rocky Mountains who have an incredible insight on this topic. It simply got BOORRRINGGGG reading about the stress each writer was under deciding how to send their child to another high end Bar Mitzvah, trying to afford a higher end New York private school versus a "regular" private school, whether or not to take $30,000 out of a savings account for invitro fertilization or being able to pay over $100,000 to adopt a baby from a very poor family. Also, most of these women admittedly came from economically comfortable backgrounds. It is very hard to take them seriously about money concerns when the worse that could have happened to them is considerably better than what would have happened to the majority of American women under the same conditions.

I was left longing for what this book should have been about. Why does Elizabeth Williams' mother enable her baby brother to skirt the fringes of civilized society by continually giving him money and denying his criminal behavior? What moral currency did Kelli put on the sale of her baby? How do the babysitters view their place in life after taking $100 per night plus tips from our "struggling" authors?

It's also a shame that most contributors treated this assignment like another freelance magazine article. Or maybe that's just the way they were trained during their Ivy League education (paid for by their parents). The ONE person who saved this project for me is Kim Barnes. Her short story, "The Wages of Sin", was emotionally riveting and in the most dynamic way, showed the real cost to one's soul for the financial decisions they make.

Tim

I just finished this book and would recommend it with the caveat that it is a collection of essays, rather than any kind of empirical study of women, relationships, and money. It is a fine collection that I enjoyed a great deal.
It was very interesting to see several essays wherein women much younger than my generation (I am 45 soon) are managing money so incredibly poorly. They have options at much earlier ages than we did, and have for the most part been raised in a culture here in America where they can pursue just about any career they like. But still the myth of the prince lives on... and the myth of rescue. Also distressing was the lack of knowledge about basic money skills so many of them had, and on top of that, a total lack of concern about it... or a paralyzing fear that has kept them from getting a grip on financial realities. Especially in these trying financial times, women of all ages need to set aside the rescue fantasy. Far better to build your own succeses and savings and THEN meet Mr. Wonderful... even Mr. Wonderful can get hit by a bus, after all, and then where are you?
This book is a way to look in the mirror and see yourself. I'm betting you will find something of yourself in at least one of the essays, or a you from the past that maybe you're grown beyond. And for getting real about money, read Suze Orman, the financial pages, and your bills and bank statements!! REGULARLY AND ON TIME!! The prince is not coming. Earn and manage the gold yourselves. Share if you are able and want to... but not because you feel you have to.

I honestly had high expectations for this book. I thought in this time and age, when women can achieve so much, they can talk honestly about money, relationships, and life. this is not that kind of book, I was extremely disappointed. Majority of these women come from a privileged background. They are majority - there is probably one or two, who represent a minority. There is maybe one or two who truly experienced poverty, hunger, abandonment, war, refugee camp, immigration, slavery, bone-grinding and blood-spilling life situations. These women had the education they wanted, the jobs they wanted, the life they wanted. They chose to not to make money. And now they whine and whine, and whine, and complain how they deserve money. It seemed like they all dreamt about writing a best-seller and forgot to check with the reality. Real people work, they put their kids through the best schools by working 2-3 jobs at a time, they sacrifice. These women, on the other hand, sit at their friends retreat houses and complain on how they deserve to have a luxury lifestyle, Manolo Blahniks, cashmere sweaters by choosing not to work. The sense of entitlement of these women is shocking! Somehow these educated women live in some la-la land. This book doesn't represent neither truth, nor women. It's just a bunch of spoiled women whining non-stop. This book just confirms the stereotypes of women as a burden to men and society.

I have fully enjoyed reading this book. It is a wonderful collection of stories, some hilarious, some sad, some exciting, all fascinating, written by women that all revolve around love and money. They are extremely personal accounts of each writer's own experiences. The heartfelt sharing of these stories allows the reader to feel in some ways a sense of normalcy about their own feelings and experiences with love and money, as well as a sense of gratitude towards the writer for sharing so freely and intimately about their failings and accomplishments, leaving the reader all the wiser, learning from their experiences.

I highly recommend this book - an excellent read!

Some anthologies are like the CDs we used to buy before iTunes took over. Think: one or two great cuts, and then a bunch of filler that sound as if the artist dug them out of a drawer because the record company insisted on another album, Pronto! Many have argued such buyer-beware experiences have led the music industry into the death spiral it's in now.

Given that, I approach anthologies with caution. Are they flogging one big-name writer? Is the one great essay going to appear in the NYTimes Sunday Styles' Modern Love column anyway? Why buy it?

But this one is different. It's good, through and through. Revealing. Honest. Yes, to address some of the other reviewers' nitpicks, several of the women are women of privilege (But come on: When an editor goes looking for essays about love and money, can it be any surprise that writers with money are among her contributors?). But the best essays don't whine. They admit the tangles we all face when it comes to class and romance. I couldn't believe how open some of these writers were -- Laurie Abraham's essay about her willful financial ignorance comes to mind. Jennifer Wolff Perrine's essay "Severance," about adopting a baby from a lower middle class couple that just couldn't afford a third child, is truly breathtaking.

This anthology renewed my belief in the form. It hits its topics from many angles, some of them surprising. I'd recommend it highly.

I would like to say that, overall, I liked this book. It was interesting and easy to read.

However, in the end, I have to give it only three stars simply because it is incomplete.

The women are almost all upper middle class or upper class, almost all of them are writers of some sort, educated, almost all are living in New York and more than likely white. And even though some of them had some very lean times when they were young adults first starting out in their field, most of them are relatively affluent now. And that is where this book falls short. This isn't a book about women in general but about a very small sample of women.

The book would have presented a much better understanding of women, relationships and money had the book included women of different socio-economic classes, immigrants, current college students, domestics etc.

In Severance, Jennifer Wolff Perrine writes about her adoption of a baby girl from a poor married couple. Money meant adoption for her. But what did it mean to the baby's biological mother, Kelli.

In another, there is mention of a maid named Ivana. What does money mean to her. A woman who is an immigrant, who is apparently smart and hardworking but it destined to be the maid. A woman who, despite all her qualities, is probably going to be a domestic all her life, living her life next to all this wealth but never achieving it herself. Does she consider herself rich? Is she compared to her family members in the "old country."

So, even though I think the book has merit, I wouldn't say it was a good book to read to understand how money influences women as a whole. We only learn how it influences a small sample of society ..a sample that most people would consider priviledge.

Dena

I was a little disappointed in the book. The title claims that the book is about women, relationships and money. However, the book examines a very narrow, and not necessarily representative, segment of women--namely women who earn their living by writing. I think the book would have been stronger if women from other walks of life had been included. As a woman who is an MBA and CPA, and who had a successful career in business, I thought the book inaccurately portrayed most women as having a weak, or at best an approach/avoidance, relationship to making and managing money.

I love this book. It provides for hours of reading. I have never come across one like this. It is applicable to women of every age and social strata and most of all, it has international appeal becuase the essays are so personal. Women can identify with the choices made and lessons learnt through out each essay. I am happy I got it and it will be among those books on my shelf that will not be loaned out. Great read.

Like to real about real people? These essays cover the life choices of real women from all walks of life, from the very bottom through the very elite of our society. I was so impressed by their life stories that I bought a copy for my daughter. She is very busy, but this book is worth her time!

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I will always be thankful to my parents for teaching me to say "please" and "thank you," loving me unconditionally, supporting even my wildest of dreams, and, most of all, teaching me about money. Consisting of essays by professional female writers, The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money and Relationships tackles the topic that has been taboo for years... especially for women. From joint checking accounts to female (not male!) breadwinners; from divorce settlements to what happens when your parents DON'T teach you about money (or rather, teach by overspending example); these women are honest, unflinching, and take charge of their checking accounts - so to speak.


While the themes are common (touching not only on romantic relationships but also on parent/child, friends, etc.) and slightly repetitive at times (all women seemed to struggle with the idea that Prince Charming should come with a loaded AMEX) it was each woman's own story of her relationship with money and not just how money affected her relationships that kept me intrigued. Throughout the book I was constantly thinking "What would I do?," "What have I done?," and most thought-provoking, "How did I learn my money habits?" Some stories challenged my long-held beliefs and my ambitions when it comes to my own money and others really made me feel like I have one up on everyone else! And don't we all love being able to say that? In these money-conscious times it is all good and well to read Suze Orman or David Bach but they just tell you what to do. These women will make you consider how you feel and why. Truly intriguing!