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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Recommended For Friends and Families of Alcoholics, February 22, 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: The Secret History of Alcoholism: The Story of Famous Alcoholoics and Their Destructive Behavior (Paperback)
I recommend this book for nonalcoholics whose lives are affected by another person's drinking, but it's not a good choice for an active or recovering alcoholic. Graham's style imparts an understandable but misguided tone of moralism, anger and self-righteousness that's based on the common and widely accepted myth that alcoholics choose to drink and can recover if they want to bad enough and those who don't are too weak or unmotivated. That tone will unnecessarily pour salt in the painful wounds of an alcoholic. But anybody who has ever loved an alcoholic can identify with and relate to Graham's self-righteous tone. Graham does an excellent job of relating typical experiences of alcoholics as seen through the bewildered eyes and felt with the frustrated, angry emotions of the nonalcoholics who love them. Such nonalcoholics can relate to (and perhaps find comfort and relief in) his discussions of the alcoholic ego, alcoholic charm, lies, false accusations, phone addictions, paranoia, promiscuity, high tolerance for inappropriate behavior and puzzling choices of friends, as well as issues related to loyalty, control, money and parenting (among others). Nonalcoholics who have alcoholics in their lives may read Graham's book and feel a sense of "Oh, I get it! This is part of the disease, not something I'm personally doing wrong." A few months after reading this book, I read "Under The Influence," by James Milam. As somebody affected by the drinking of others, I found this to be a good pairing. Graham's book helped me understand that my experiences were typical rather than unique, and that bizarre (and downright MEAN) behaviors are an integral part of the progression of alcoholism. In contrast, Milam's book offered a deeper understanding of alcoholism as a true physiological disease and gave concrete and tragically under-publicized medical explanations for such behaviors, along with a general road map of how the nonalcoholic can truly help the alcoholic. The biggest flaw in Graham's book is his assumption that alcoholism is the result of personality flaws and lack of discipline, along with his complete lack of acknowledgement of alcoholism as a true medical disease with a physiologic genesis and progression. Alcoholism is a genetically predisposed inability to process alcohol (as Milam graphically explains), comparable to a diabetic's genetically predisposed inability to process carbohydrates. If you can get past Graham's misguided and inaccurate assumptions, "The Secret History of Alcoholism" is a great ointment for soothing the emotional wounds of nonalcoholics who love an alcoholic.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant integration of history and alcoholism., July 13, 1998
This review is from: The Secret History of Alcoholism: The Story of Famous Alcoholoics and Their Destructive Behavior (Paperback)
I was half-way through writing my first book, Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse, when I found this masterpiece. Until I read it, I couldn't explain the highly functional addict. This made sense of what seemed an irreconcilable paradox. I then wrote this very early review, as I continued writing my book throughout 1998:
James Graham has brilliantly explained much of mankind's most sordid history, something other historian's have failed to do. His observation that poor behavior, whether on the micro- or macro- scale, frequently has alcoholism at its roots is both perceptive and courageous.
While recognizing alcoholism as a disease and pointing out it results in massive personality flaws, he calls for swift punishment of actual wrongdoings. In so doing, he is the first to truly bridge the gap between the disease model and mental health model of addiction.
His explanation of a fundamental personality change caused by alcoholism, egomania, explains the rest of the bizarre and terrible behaviors of the addict. Such behaviors as false accusations and other lying, craftiness, grandiosity and unreasonable resentments suddenly make sense, even if devastating to others around them. Applying these behaviors in his search for violative, nasty, trouble-making and murderous historic names and incidents gives pause to the thoughtful reader as to the existence of addicts in both our public and private lives.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Extremely helpful for those involved with an alcoholic, November 27, 2000
This review is from: The Secret History of Alcoholism: The Story of Famous Alcoholoics and Their Destructive Behavior (Paperback)
Anyone who has been romantically involved with an alcoholic or has an alcoholic family member owes it to themselves to read this book. While Graham focuses on famous despots, tyrants, and celebrities, the same attributes are in some degree present in your basic everyday non-famous alcoholic friend, neighbor or lover. If you love an alcoholic you must understand this. Graham points out the dangerous combination of the alcoholics charm, deception, denial and obsession with looking functional and the tendency to underdiagnose the disease. This underdiagnosis, as Graham points out, is partly due to a bias of society resulting from the ability of most people to drink alcohol without becoming an alcoholic as well as not understanding the differences between highly functional early and middle stage alcoholics and late stage lushes and winos. After reading this book I could understand what the relationsip and marriage counselors were saying about the dangers of loving an alcoholic. Alcoholics are experts at deception and manipulation, they have shallow or stunted emotional growth, they are unable to express themselves honestly and directly, and they can tell you they love you while not caring about you at all. Although they may not become a famous writer, actor, senator or spy, they will become a highly successful con artist and if you are unaware of these traits, you could easily become their victim.
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