Customer Reviews

The Secret Language of Girlfriends: Talking Loudly, Laughing Wildly, and Making the Most of Our Most Important Friendships

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I expected one of those easy, fun, skim-the-surface reads when THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF GIRLFRIENDS arrived in my mailbox recently. Before even opening the envelope, I was already imagining something along the lines of those tacky TV "chick shows" about the pitfalls of Internet romance, the miracle of cosmetic makeovers, breathless tell-all forums on perfect love-making, how to shop for shoes, etc. etc.

In other words, I was expecting style, self-absorption and perhaps some cynical wit. But substance? Soul-stirring inspiration? Genuine cosmic insight? After all, we're talking girlfriends here --- you know, the kind of relationships formed in high school washrooms, in shopping malls, over interminable phone calls that drove our parents mad.

But now it's confession and celebration time. I was wrong --- and I was never happier to be wrong.

You see, I couldn't actually reach the mailbox to get Karen Neuberger's wonderful revelation about female friendship. Thanks to some rogue bacterium, a minor leg injury went terribly wrong, leaving me miserably chair-bound, very sore, frustrated at my doctor's orders to choke down those antibiotics, and not a little worried about the long-term effects on my mobility.

It was a visiting girlfriend who cleared my mailbox, made coffee, did my dishes, even fed the cat, and then sat down and kept me company all evening with some of the best conversation I'd had in ages. And of course she told all the other girlfriends. I had become a team project!

A few days later, as I was deeply immersed in the anecdotes and insight of THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF GIRLFRIENDS, another brought over dark chocolate, flowers, and an unfinished knitting project. She insisted on doing my laundry while I sorted out her dropped stitches. Then we shared the chocolate, talked, watched a favorite Britcom, talked, laughed ourselves silly, talked.... Several others joined the relay in the following days, knowing exactly what to do, when to do it, and how much.

Finally, I realized that this is what it's all about, the girlfriend thing. We were living what Neuberger has packed so brilliantly --- and substantially --- into every page. I also realized that who we are as befriending and tending women has got to be genetic, uniquely hardwired into every healthy feminine psyche from the dawn of creation.

And so a week-from-hell that had begun with a fearful six-hour ordeal in the local hospital ER, ended in happy tears, gales of laughter, and above all, the indescribable grace of knowing I would never be alone when some dumb luck crisis suddenly strikes. As one of my long-distance "broad squad" members reminded me during a two-hour phone call across three time-zones, it just happened to be my turn to "get the treatment" --- to be spoiled, reassured, affirmed, propped up, accepted unconditionally in my worst moods, and loved into healing.

I'm still spending a lot of time with the inconvenient leg propped up, but I'm beating the blues now by reading my favorite bits of THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF GIRLFRIENDS aloud, sometimes for the second or third time, to this wonderful, extravagant herd of women, whose collective power to release healing endorphins never fails to astonish me.

Neuberger may not have invented the "secret" of our intuitive language, but few writers communicate its vocabulary and grammar with such authentic experience and delightful skill. This is one "chick book" that belongs on every mature woman's bookshelf --- if you can actually keep it there.

Be firm, be strong: tell the girlfriends to go buy their own copies.

--- Reviewed by Pauline Finch

A great read! I thoroughly enjoyed every page. In fact, I thought it was so much fun I purchased a book for each of my girlfriends and plan on giving the book as gifts on our annual summer road trip to the coast. It brought up so many memories of my own experiences...I loved it! Cherish your girlfriends...Thank you Karen.

I have read half of the book in just two days. It is a great read. I felt like I could relate to a lot of what was being said. The tales are of everyday women in everyday situations. It is comfortable to know that others out there feel as you do during any stage of your life.

At first glance this book looked like a really fun read. Cute cover and catchy concepts it seemed like it would something right up my alley. I was very wrong. The book talks all about the sort of girlfriends that one may want to have or hope to have over the course of her lifetime. That's all fine and dandy (not to mention obvious) but does anyone really need to read 200+ pages of the author's fond memories of her friends? Is it necessary to suck up to Oprah right in the dedication and then barely mention her in those 200+ pages? I also did not appreciate the cheap marketing ploy that involved the author plugging her stupid pajama line. I don't think that the author imparts any true words of wisdom and I seriously doubt there is much for anyone to gain by reading this book. You could do better things with your time like perhaps watching Thelma & Louise, A League of their Own, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, etc.... Don't waste your time or money on this. Don't even waste a trip to the library - grab a girlfriend and go shopping instead!!!!