Customer Reviews

The Secret Languages of Success: Using Body Language to Get What You Want

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I found this book to be unutterably fascinating. It's the jewel of my library.

Have you ever felt that you could walk into a room without being noticed and leave and not be missed? Your inability to make your presence felt has probably made you frustrated on more than one occasion (as well as costing you $$$ in business matters). This book teaches you some of the secrets of the secret language of silent speech and body language. My, my, my, did this book ever open my eyes to what a profound impact that your body language makes on the impression that you leave with others. Mastering the use of body talk, or "Impression Management", will enable you to take control of almost any exchange, whether formal or informal, intimate or public.

Did you know that the size of your pupils varies according to our degree of interest and physical arousal? According to the psychological tests detailed in this book, of which the reader can take, when we meet someone attractive, our pupils get larger.

This book taught me that being a good listener is acutally a more effective way of making a good impression than being a gifted speaker. And before you can create any sort of impression it is, of course, essential to be noticed. But this book demonstrated to me that it's almost never efficient to attract attention with sledge-hammer tactics. Instead, projecting a successful self-image demands perception, confidence and the ability to control any strong emotions, such as anxiety or irritation. It means presenting yourself in a way that matches the desires and expectations of your audience. It requires the developement of what stage people call 'presence', that special sparkle which transforms a person into a personality. This book gives you some tips on how to have presence whenever you walk into a rooom.

Another great point that I found within one of the chapters within this book (the chapter on self-esteem and body language) is that you should try to match your level of esteem to that of the other person if you seek their cooperation. The chapter presents a couple of fabulous real world examples of how a person goes about that.

This wonderful book also offers tips on perfecting your posture in order to create a favorable impression.

Chapter 8, entitled "Anatomy of an Encounter" was a wonderful one. This chapter analyzes and examines the typical human encounter from acknowledgement (like the eyebrow flash), contact, all the way through to disengagement. Other downright fascinating pieces within this chapter is the explanation of the power of a gaze, how we view faces, and the meaning of smiles (classifications of smile: simple smile, upper smile, high intensity smile, etc). I gained precious knowledge of how people feel just from being aware of what kind of smile they exhibit.

Chapter 9 details where you should stand, either directly opposite or adjacent, in an encounter. It goes on to adduce where each gender prefers to interact. Again, fascinating information. This chapter also analyzes the handshake and the connotation attached to it's duration and style.

Chapter 13 was my favorite. It details power plays. How people can dominate via taking up as much space as physically possible. The chapter tells how one can counter power plays initiated by others towards you.

All in all, this book is one of the best books out there on body language. I am confident making this statement only after reading many other books on body language, none of which I believed to be as good (certainly not worthy enough to take time out to write even a poor review on) as this one.

By adding this book to your library, you'll gain a tremendous edge when communicating with others.

Let go of your preconceived notions, and your disbelief and run with it. Try a few of the suggestions and interpretations in this book, and you will be a believer. There are 3 instances in my career that jump to my mind where this book made a difference. Early in my career I was made a believer when I was able to discern the agitation in an otherwise cool-as-ice poker-faced manager. This book should be read by everyone looking for an edge in influencing others.

I was somewhat turned off by the stupid 80s cover but this book is filled with body language tips I haven't seen in any other book--such as how you can tell whether a person is telling the truth or lying when you ask them something by simply observing their eye movements. I highly recommend this text for anyone who's looking to improve their body language "skills." It is a bit manipulative but if you master these techinques people will start to eat right out of your hand...This is a MUST READ for anyone who's looking to dominate every encounter. This text along with Dr. Lieberman's(?) 'Get Anyone To Do Anything' will make you INVINCIBLE!

What do you suppose this book is about? If you guessed body language, hand shakes, eye movements, etc., you are correct. This book captures your interest and moves you to read the next page. Would you like to be able to tell if another person likes you in a matter of seconds? Wouldn't it be exciting to know that you could have the job you wanted, just by using body language? Read this book, see what I'm talking about.

This book was good like the other reviewers here said, but it is lacking in images/pics to illustrate the points noted. Lots of good information in the book, but I wish it was organized differently. I think the subtitle is too ambitious and arrogant. Somehow, the book seems outdated too... I've seen better.