My Secret Life with a Sex Addict - from discovery to recovery [Paperback]

Emma Dawson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 5, 2004

Are you worried your spouse is a sex addict? You're not alone, there are estimated to be 16,000,000 people who exhibit this addiction. This book offers you a path out after discovery all the way to recovery.

Emma Dawson was worried and when she confronted it, she found out her worst fears were real. Her husband was a sex addict. He'd had dozens of affairs and worse... His behavior was destructive, persistant and escalating. She felt trapped, alone, afraid and more...

But now... after education and support, she realized she was not alone. Her desire to help others who are currently in or suffering the devastating effects of loving a sex addict inspired her to write this book. Let her experience help you!

Emma sought to educate herself about sex addiction. She learned that its potential for devastation is at least as strong as that of other, more familiar addictions, such as drug, gambling or alcohol addiction. These addicts are attempting to manage feelings of anger, loneliness and emptiness. Those who are in a relationship with such an addict will find them to be selfish, needy and preoccupied.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Emma Dawson has stepped forward to break the secrecy that surrounds sexual addiction and co-addiction. Courageously, she reveals her personal struggle to understand how her husband s addiction was not about her and not about any personal inadequacy. Dawson validates the experience of millions of Americans who have lived with sexual addiction. My Secret Life with a Sex Addict lifts the partner guilt that accompanies this insidious disorder and all its accompanying denial. This important book offers both understanding and hope. It will begin the healing process for many. Sensitively written, Dawson s book not only teaches us much about sexual addiction, it also confirms there is a way out. ----Geral Blanchard, co-author

In this clearly written book, we learn of how the obsessions of sex addicts shatter the stability of families and destroy the trust of those who love them. It is the first account perspective of the spouse that describes the impact the addiction has on relationships and moves us forward with hope and courage as a model to create a new life without illusions. ----Donna J. Cole, BCD Relationship Therapist

Partners of sex addicts often deny the problem, attempt to bargain with the addict or try to control their partner s addiction in various unproductive ways. Some continue to suffer silently, believing they deserve the abuse that results from their partner s addictive behaviors. In My Secret Life with a Sex Addict, From Discovery To Recovery, Emma Dawson taps into a hidden world of shame, pain, guilt and despair. She then demonstrates how to have freedom from that world, offering hope and personal growth. This book is a must-read for any family member or significant other of a sex addict. ----Glenn E. Niebling, D. Min., CACIII, CSAT

About the Author

The author of MY SECRET LIFE WITH A SEX ADDICT: FROM DISCOVERY TO RECOVERY, Emma Dawson is a recovered victim of her ex-husband s sexual addiction. She was in a 29-year marriage with an addict whose behavior became progressively worse. Since terminating her marriage, she completed a Master s Degree in Social Work, become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and gained experience in the field. Emma has worked as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital and has experience in family, group and individual outpatient therapy. Discovering little has been published about sexual addiction, written from the spouse s point of view, prompted Emma Dawson to write this book.

Product Details

• Paperback: 140 pages
• Publisher: Thornton Publishing (March 5, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932344705
• ISBN-13: 978-1932344707
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #949,127 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Victims of Sex Addicts Don't Have a Clue, March 7, 2010

By 

Manzanita Lodgepole "Manzanita" (USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: My Secret Life with a Sex Addict - from discovery to recovery (Paperback)

Emma Dawson wrote a stunning and acurate account of her 28 year old marriage to a sex addict and how it affected her own personality and the lives of her four children. I use the word "accurate" ...... not because I was there to witness her life but it was almost a carbon copy of my 25 year old life with a sex addict and how it left "black holes" in the lives of my four children. I digested this book in one sitting because it could also be my life she was writing about.

She describes the downward spiral of the addict's personality ....... from charming to demeaningly destructive. The crazy making part is their using what I called, the "push-pull" method of snaring their victims back into their den, after reducing them to groveling nothingness. Any female who has lived with a sex addict can relate to all of her story. How they suck you back in with sex & promises and you believe it because you want to.

It takes a certain type of personality to become a victim of a sex addict or a Narcissistic personality disorder person. It is a timid, shy, quiet, unsure of herself, female, who is unaware she is searching for the comfort zone of her (usually) lonely or abandoned childhood. Most sex addicts come with a touch of Narcissism and can sweep the victim off their feet with a promise of everlasting love.

Some parts of the book were very hard for me to read because it stirred up memories that I thought had been long buried. She describes them so well. Especially the parts where the victim blames herself and keeps asking what she had done wrong and then she tries even harder. I am 80 years old & it's been 30 years since I was divorced from my sex addict husband but reading her story stirred up feelings that felt like it happened yesterday. The names "Sex Addict" and "Narcissist" were not really coined or commonly used until the 1980's. Back in the 1950's, when my life of confusion began, there was very little public information available. Of course, I totally thought it was my fault and suffered my shame in silence, just like the author described.

My divorced sex addict husband recently died from alzheimers and his death has dredged up all the things that the author discribes. That was why I've been searching books for recent information but there is nothing new, just better labels and more accurately described information. There is one thing that leaves an abrupt question in my mind and that is "what happened to Ted?" Was he ever able to control his sexual urges? Did he ever stay with one woman? Did he make a crazy life for other women, as he did for Emma?

This book was written nearly 10 years ago and I hope Emma has become the strong, self assured woman who has found the joy of life within herself. Good luck, abundant happiness and success to you. Thank you for having the strength to write this book.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating book for anyone involved with sexually addicted man, October 27, 2008

By 

Codependent Reader "Kay" (Little Rock, AR United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Secret Life with a Sex Addict - from discovery to recovery (Paperback)

This book is a fascinating look at life with a sex addicted spouse or significant other. After dating a sex addict for 5 years I always wondered how bad his behavior really could be and I was in denial about how bad it could be. With all the confessions the author's husband made to his wife (Emma Dawson) you really get an inside look at the kind of behavior the man is really engaging in. I was absolutely shocked by the things the husband admitted to doing. After reading this I realized everything was probably much worse than I even realized. I knew my boyfriend was seeing other women from time to time but for the first time I entertained the reality that he could be seeing more than one woman in even a days time. This book is helping me to break away from a situation I have realized is unhealthy. For any woman who is involved in any way with a man who is sexually addicted, I recommend this book and also "Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependents Perspective" by Christine A. Adams as the two books you absolutely must read.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My Secret Life with a Sex Addict, July 29, 2007

By 

Beatrix P. "D." (Ohio USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: My Secret Life with a Sex Addict - from discovery to recovery (Paperback)

Very well written true experience by the writer. Too few books of it's kind for the person who has to live in this type of situation. She tell's it with utmost candor and clarity. I highly recommend it to anyone who either feels or knows they are living with a sex addict. She proves there is hope. Very good read!