Customer Reviews

My Secret Life with a Sex Addict - from discovery to recovery

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Emma Dawson wrote a stunning and acurate account of her 28 year old marriage to a sex addict and how it affected her own personality and the lives of her four children. I use the word "accurate" ...... not because I was there to witness her life but it was almost a carbon copy of my 25 year old life with a sex addict and how it left "black holes" in the lives of my four children. I digested this book in one sitting because it could also be my life she was writing about.

She describes the downward spiral of the addict's personality ....... from charming to demeaningly destructive. The crazy making part is their using what I called, the "push-pull" method of snaring their victims back into their den, after reducing them to groveling nothingness. Any female who has lived with a sex addict can relate to all of her story. How they suck you back in with sex & promises and you believe it because you want to.

It takes a certain type of personality to become a victim of a sex addict or a Narcissistic personality disorder person. It is a timid, shy, quiet, unsure of herself, female, who is unaware she is searching for the comfort zone of her (usually) lonely or abandoned childhood. Most sex addicts come with a touch of Narcissism and can sweep the victim off their feet with a promise of everlasting love.

Some parts of the book were very hard for me to read because it stirred up memories that I thought had been long buried. She describes them so well. Especially the parts where the victim blames herself and keeps asking what she had done wrong and then she tries even harder. I am 80 years old & it's been 30 years since I was divorced from my sex addict husband but reading her story stirred up feelings that felt like it happened yesterday. The names "Sex Addict" and "Narcissist" were not really coined or commonly used until the 1980's. Back in the 1950's, when my life of confusion began, there was very little public information available. Of course, I totally thought it was my fault and suffered my shame in silence, just like the author described.

My divorced sex addict husband recently died from alzheimers and his death has dredged up all the things that the author discribes. That was why I've been searching books for recent information but there is nothing new, just better labels and more accurately described information. There is one thing that leaves an abrupt question in my mind and that is "what happened to Ted?" Was he ever able to control his sexual urges? Did he ever stay with one woman? Did he make a crazy life for other women, as he did for Emma?

This book was written nearly 10 years ago and I hope Emma has become the strong, self assured woman who has found the joy of life within herself. Good luck, abundant happiness and success to you. Thank you for having the strength to write this book.

This book is a fascinating look at life with a sex addicted spouse or significant other. After dating a sex addict for 5 years I always wondered how bad his behavior really could be and I was in denial about how bad it could be. With all the confessions the author's husband made to his wife (Emma Dawson) you really get an inside look at the kind of behavior the man is really engaging in. I was absolutely shocked by the things the husband admitted to doing. After reading this I realized everything was probably much worse than I even realized. I knew my boyfriend was seeing other women from time to time but for the first time I entertained the reality that he could be seeing more than one woman in even a days time. This book is helping me to break away from a situation I have realized is unhealthy. For any woman who is involved in any way with a man who is sexually addicted, I recommend this book and also "Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependents Perspective" by Christine A. Adams as the two books you absolutely must read.

Very well written true experience by the writer. Too few books of it's kind for the person who has to live in this type of situation. She tell's it with utmost candor and clarity. I highly recommend it to anyone who either feels or knows they are living with a sex addict. She proves there is hope. Very good read!

Emma Dawson has written a groundbreaking book that shares her story of liberation from the silence and shame of being married to a sex addict. It is a powerful account of one woman's journey from the depths of silence to a celebration of a powerful voice of healing. It is an inspiration for any woman who has ever found herself in a position of isolation and low self-worth due to being a "keeper" of the secret of addiction. You will experience a sense of community as you read Emma's story and feel the relief of knowing you are not alone. Emma has learned to value her experience and found a wonderful way to share that with others!

This book not only explains about sex addiction but tells us a lot about addiction in general, its destructiveness, the heartbreak it causes. but more important this book shows the importance of understanding the problem, realizing what roles you might be playing in the addict's problems, and that once understood there is hope for getting out from the devastation the addict is causing. We can all learn something from this author's courage.

Now that this book: My Secret Life with a Sex Addict is in Kindle format, you can read it without anyone else knowing. I liked that part the best. Thank you Emma Dawson for making this available so I could read it without anyone else knowing while I got myself together.

If you suspect anything... get the information in this book and it will help you sort out your situation.

This book is short. I read it one day. I give Emma Dawson 100 stars for her courageously candid book. I can't give this book more than 3 stars because it does not really get to the heart of the addiction or recovery. At the root of any addiction (food, sex, gambling, etc..) is an emotional trauma. I did appreciate Emma's story, and yes it was difficult to read at times. Her husband's words were cruel and typical of the sex addict mentality. They are not his true feelings, he does not know what those are. The addiction clouds the mind of addicts making them very judgmental, unbalanced, irrational, and not the person you once knew. The fact that her husband's behaviors took a toll on her children is really key. Thank you Emma for bring ing this into the light! Many books never talk about the deleterious affects on the family. Incest and molestation are awful enough, but the father's attitude towards sex also confused and corrupted his daughters. That is such an important point. People need to leave these addicts to let them hit their bottom. They don't need to stick by them for the sake of the marriage. The addicts are not thinking clearly and are not safe! When they need a fix, they can even turn to their children. Sex addiction starts with childhood sex traumas, therefore keeping your children away from the sex addict is critical. I liked the book. Definitely agree self empowerment is the answer for all partners of sex addicts!! There is nothing that the other women (men) have that the true spouse does not. It is not a sex competition like so many spouses of sex addicts fear. It is really a compulsion to temporarily pacify a great pain within their soul or psyche (whichever works for you). Partners of these people have not much control in the situation. You can not convince them of anything, the drive for more sexual highs is very strong. The addict must want recovery for self. The addict has to want his/her life back. My favorite book on the subject to date is Lust, Anger, Love by Maureen Canning. I think that describes many stories like Emma's husband, and also the root cause of each story. It is unfortunate to see how traumatic situations create these sexual compulsions. All too often they are things parents think of as "loving" or "disciplining" or in some way proper parenting... but it is damaging to the child. Also I recommend the book, Because it Feels Good by Debby Herbenick PhD. This book is full of research on satisfying sex and fulfillment. Again and again it shows that it is the deep connection and bond between the two lovers that creates the satisfaction. It also gives tips for self discovery, activities to boost sex life, and intimacy building ideas. It reminds you what true sexual intimacy and connection is... and guess what... its not like a porno film!!

I saw that there were 5 - 5 star reviews of this book and they all seemed to say similar things - it's written from the experience of someone who was married to a sex addict and gives great information for those who might suspect they are etc. I know I'm married to a sex addict but this book was very difficult for me to read and not helpful at all. I was hoping to get some great advice and hope. This book made me think things might be going on that probably aren't and just made me depressed more than I already am. Maybe from the standpoint of someone who specializes in therapy for those recovering from being married to a sex addict the book is helpful but it was way too depressing with way too many details for me (her husband was actually quite cruel in my opinion). Just a warning to someone suffering the affects of being married to a sex addict and is looking for some therapy and hope in a book - I wouldn't recommend this book.

After I read this book I really disliked Emma Dawson for not protecting her daughters. Especially when one of the daughter was being raped.

She has made so many excuses for herself and expect God and Man to forgive her.

Well Emma, I do hope you are in a better place today. Frankly I think you are horrible.

I do not recommend your book to anyone. It is a waste of time and energy.

Anyone who wants to read this book I would recommend that you listen to some good music or see a movie.