The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships [Paperback]

Christopher Blazina Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 2, 2008

Say Goodbye to Guessing Games, Communication Conflicts,
One-sided Conversations, 'Dry Spells,' and Silent Treatments

For centuries women have been trying to put into words what perplexes them most about men. However, the inner world of the male's psyche continues to succeed in outwitting women, and The Secret Lives of Men is the long-awaited antidote that unravels the mysteries that keep women from enjoying true connection and authentic relationships with the men in their lives, whether they be husbands, partners, sons, fathers, or friends.

In this provocative and pivotal book, male psychology expert, researcher, and professor, Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., contends that contrary to popular belief, men really do want to be understood, not cast aside as unemotional, backward thinking, desensitized, or 'clueless'—and they desire to connect with others.
With unbiased compassion and true understanding of the needs of both men and women, Dr. Blazina offers techniques and prescriptions for navigating the emotional, physical, and intellectual realms of the male psyche at all stages of his life. Through The Secret Lives of Men you will:

• Discover the 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male'
• Learn about the secret shoebox and how to get him to unlock this 'holy of holies'
• Have a better sex life and get on the same page about what feels hot and what does not
• Identify the 'proper,' effective ways to give feedback to a man
• Avoid the major relationship landmines and let healthy conflict deepen relationships

Men have secret lives, and they are complex and multidimensional. The Secret Lives of Men serves as a bridge between you and the men you want to know and understand.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Gimmicks are mercifully absent in this revealing introduction to the male psyche that introduces romantic partners and family members to the process of male socialization (the ten commandments of growing up male such as there is only one way to be a man, fear the feminine, funnel... feelings into sex or aggression) and the entrenched cultural rules that men confront and struggle to live up to. Blazina, a male-psychology expert, is a compassionate guide. While some territory has already been mined by others, his effort serves more ably than most as a practical instrument for improving relationships with men, through unpacking the secret shoebox, a metaphorical place where men store their most private wishes, fantasies and pains; making enlightening suggestions for helping the notorious Peter Pan become an adult; and providing examples of how women—often unwittingly—emotionally castrate the men in their lives. Mars and Venus are nowhere in sight as Blazina embraces commonalities between the sexes in this respectful and deeply healing book. (Nov.)
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About the Author

Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist who has published over twenty-five scholarly articles about the psychology of men and masculinity and is the author of the academic text The Cultural Myth of Masculinity. He holds a doctorate degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of North Texas and has been a professor at the University of Houston and Tennessee State University. Visit Dr. Blazina at www.thesecretlivesofmen.com.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: HCI (September 2, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0757306608
• ISBN-13: 978-0757306600
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #461,324 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Blazina has a unique ability to tackle complex issues and make them accessible. This can be seen across the various dimensions of his career as a psychologist, researcher, and professor. Besides being a guest on numerous radio shows across the country, his works appears in leading journals in the field of psychology. Dr. Blazina has also been featured in popular magazines such as "Cosmopolitan" and "Women's Health." His radio program, "The Secret Lives of Men," airs weekly on BlogTalkRadio. The Secret Lives of Men brings multifaceted issues about men's health and well-being to a general audience.

Dr. Blazina has authored numerous scholarly publications about the psychology of men and masculinity. His first book the academic text, "The Cultural Myth of Masculinity," received praise from noted experts in the field. Dr. Blazina's second book, "The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships" is a self help book aimed at making sense of the often misunderstood world of men. The book is written for both men and women, explaining the occurrences that shape males lives. His forthcoming book, "An International Psychology of Men" includes experts from around the world. Contact Dr. Blazina at his website: www.thesecretlivesofmen.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Opening Doors to the Male Psyche, March 6, 2009

By 

Grady Harp (Los Angeles, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships (Paperback)

Christopher Blazina is not only an expert on the topic of male psychology ("The Cultural Myth of Masculinity"), but he also is a fine communicator on the written page. This book, THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships', is not the usual self-help book that increasing crowds the shelves of bookstores: this is a book intended for a broader audience, that audience including everyone who needs to understand the 'male mentality' - boys, students, men caught in a line of unsuccessful relationships, women who fail to understand the 'male approach to intimacy', couples struggling with seemingly irreconcilable differences, psychologists, social workers, and the curious reader.

Where Blazina succeeds is where so many other authors stumble: Blazina writes in a conversational manner, keeping his information and data very centered in current time, and offers not only valuable insights but also drives his points of explanation home with a very useful series of Chapter Cues that keep the reader aligned with his step by step pattern of 'enlightenment'.

Captured in this book are Blazina's 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male', a section that lays the matrix for his further chapters on understanding the privacy of men's 'secret shoebox' of intimate feelings and thoughts, methods of learned (and an offer to re-learn) communication that leads to a more satisfying sex life, raising sons to be free from the extraneous prejudice of manhood, how men cope with the inevitable 'curse' of aging, and how to nurture men who are growing out of the confines of 'inherited' macho delusions.

Blazina takes major steps forward from the usual prejudices and impressions and instead concentrates on offering ways in which both men and women, children and adults, can better understand the male mind. This all may sound a bit like a rerun of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', but the good Dr. Blazina is far better an instructor and has more in depth of knowledge that is focused on dealing with understanding and resolution rather than mere labeling. He simply writes very well, and he obviously cares about sharing his experience in his chosen field with an audience very much in need of his insights. Grady Harp, March 09.