35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book has become my official parenting bible., September 10, 2000
This review is from: The Secret of Parenting: How to Be in Charge of Today's Kids--from Toddlers to Preteens--Without Threats or Punishment (Paperback)
This is the first parenting book I have ever read from cover to cover.
I was unable to pull away! In the past I have skimmed through scores
of parenting books and magazines, gathering bits and pieces of helpful
information, leaving me with a plethora of conflicting ideas that
eventually cancelled each other out until I was left with nothing but
self-doubt on how I was raising my own children. But this book is a
goldmine. Reading it has been an absolute pleasure, and has given me
great insight into what drives the behavior of children of all ages
(toddlers to teens).
In his book, Wolf provides not only the
psychology behind the behavior of children, but also a very
straightforward and consistent manner in which to respond to children
in the most difficult situations. These situations include tantrums,
sibling rivalry, back-talk, guilt-trips, lying, whining, interrupting,
and more. Wolf's recommended approach to handling most of these
situations is centered around a basic theme which he explains very
early on in the book. He also provides many examples of very
true-to-life conversations between parents and kids, making it pretty
clear which ones will lead to nowhere. Wolf's book is very readable
and flows smoothly. The author's sense of humor can be felt
throughout the book, with an occassional touch of sarcasm, sometimes
even a corny joke. But this makes the book fun to read, almost giving
the feeling of conversing with the author in person.
As a mother of
a two-year-old and a three-year-old, I wish Wolf would have included
more conversations with small children and written more about how to
handle potty training. However, I was still able to put these methods
into practice for tantrums, sibling fights, and whining (which covers
the majority of our problems), and they have proven to be 150% more
effective than reasoning, arguing, time-outs, bribing, yelling,
spanking or threatening. It has actually brought back a lot of joy to
being a parent, and I no longer walk on eggshells dreading the next
tantrum. I don't want to give away Wolf's "secret" in this
review, as that would take away from the pleasure of reading the book.
I strongly recommend this book to all parents and anyone wanting to
learn more about children!
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent advice, but borrows heavily from Jeremy, December 9, 2002
This review is from: The Secret of Parenting: How to Be in Charge of Today's Kids--from Toddlers to Preteens--Without Threats or Punishment (Paperback)
If you have not read any of Anthony Wolf's books, and you are looking for a great book on parenting, you've found it. Wolf's advice is straightforward, logical, and reasonably easy to implement. But if you bought _It's No Fair, Jeremy Spencer Gets to Stay Up All Night_, this one won't teach you much more. _Secrets of Parenting_ borrows heavily from _It's No Fair_, to the point that there's no need for both of them.
The kernel of Wolf's approach toward dealing with children is in handling the I Want You Now personality. His descriptions of typical childhood behavior ring true to anyone who has children. Ever have your child playing quietly in the same room until you pick up the phone, and then s/he needs you to help RIGHT AWAY? Wolf will explain why this happens. Better yet, he'll tell you how to handle this so it won't keep happening.
His advice on handling bad behavior is for you to become a Robo-parent. It completely disconnects the I Want You Now behavior, because it doesn't engage. Robo-parent deals with the child, no muss, ignore the fuss, and very soon your child learns that tantrums and stickiness don't succeed. While I can't always tamp down my emotions to turn into Robo-parent, it's good to have a strategy that WILL WORK.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Sound advice - recommended, September 7, 2000
This review is from: The Secret of Parenting: How to Be in Charge of Today's Kids--from Toddlers to Preteens--Without Threats or Punishment (Paperback)
I usually don't go for parenting books but this lucky discovery is full of great tips. (Just ignore possible the book's silly title and the annoying repeated use of the term "baby-self.") Dr. Wolf's fundamental advice to _disengage_ from kids' sometimes problematic behavior is wonderful in its simplicity. We've tried his simple methods of kid management over the past few weeks and can say - they work, almost miraculously! A good use of thirteen bucks!
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