54 of 58 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Secret psychology, June 7, 2007
This review is from: The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love (Hardcover)
Dr Paul describes the 9 step process that women can use to find the man of their dreams. Previously, Dr Paul has outlined the same process for men, which is a little different. I have used his other products, so its all familiar.
The 9 steps are more than enough to justify buying this book. It explains the Triune brain theory, our reptilian, mammalian, and higher brain function, which are responsible for attraction, bonding, and commitment. Relationships falter between there is lack of communication between partners on all three levels simultaneously, and this is how the 9 step process comes into play. If the entire 9 steps are not followed in sequence or steps are overlooked years can be wasted, and you can be left wondering where the relationship went wrong. For example, one important step in the attraction phase is make him compete to win you. As a man I understand why this is important. As a woman you may wonder, until you read this book.
There is however so much other gold in this book. As an experienced psychiatrist, with substantial case experience, he has developed models of how to deal with various issues both personally and in relationships. In particular, I liked his definition of self esteem, and his maps to deal with this, anger, sadness, anxiety and depression.
This book is far more complete than the title would suggest, offering many proven processes to fine tune your relationship. Perhaps the most important concept of all is the "Cool Eye" which as human beings we all have, but very few of us use it consciously as a tool to improve our lives. Quite simply though, you cannot evolve without it.
How do you know if a man will commit? Your clock could be ticking loudly, and your eggs yearning to fertilise, yet you have no clue when and if he will commit. The answer is testing, and he has recommendations for you to use in this book.
How do you if you are compatible? You can test your archetype for free at his website [...], and determine if you are a queen/king, warrior, magician, lover. Your romantic match would be the opposite archetype. This is based on Jungian theory. For Sex and the City fans, the four female characters represent the female archetypes. Mr Big is a warrior.
Dr P also teaches you how to develop a strong personal boundary. This will prevent you from getting into abusive or codependent relationships.
Men will find this useful too. You will understand why you did not commit to someone in the past, and how to be stand up high character guy who will commit when you do meet the right woman.
If you care to follow this book, you can save years of wasted time with the wrong guy, stop being strung along, screen for the right characteristics, and prevent cheating, and learn how to get a guy to commit. Pretty good, eh? I trust you find this helpful.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Courtship as a Pathway to True Love, June 20, 2007
This review is from: The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love (Hardcover)
"The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love" is based on a scientific approach that is far from clinical. The intriguing case studies of how couples interact with each other keeps your full attention as Dr. Paul Dobransky analyzes these stories and presents a pathway to true love.
Diagrams throughout make the psychology lessons easy to understand and the idea of allowing natural stages of courtship to unfold makes complete sense. This book is mainly for women who want to secure a long-term relationship and are willing to thoughtfully analyze each step in the process.
What are the character traits that make men irresistible?
What are the three main stages to all romantic relationships?
How can you avoid breakups or divorce?
What makes men and women successful at relationships?
To bring about a full understanding of how we fall in love, Dr. Paul Dobransky explains how our brains function. This is truly brilliant because it gives a realistic viewpoint to an otherwise unexplainable phenomena. Falling in love is normally so mysterious and veiled and the information presented here explores the reptilian (brain stem), mammalian (midbrain) and higher brain (cortex) in detail.
During each stage of courtship a different part of the brain takes center stage. By understanding how the brain works while you are hopelessly falling in love gives you insight into what is actually occurring. This gives a woman much more control over her emotions and allows her to sidestep many of the dangers involved with only relying on the reptilian brain or physical attraction stages. There are detailed lists of what to look for if you suspect you may be with Mr. Wrong.
Dr. Paul Dobransky successfully synthesizes various theories of psychology into a very understandable model that is practical and helpful. He explores nine steps of courtship that will lead to a satisfying romantic relationship with long-term potential. Whether you are looking for Mr. Right or enjoy analyzing your current relationship I think you will find many answers to questions about dating and marriage.
~The Rebecca Review
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Not all mechanics, July 4, 2007
This review is from: The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love (Hardcover)
Dr. Paul's book delves into the whole process of falling in love but underlying all the mechanics is this little twist called serendipity. For me that was the real power of the book. It's not about Mr. Right it's about finding the story you're meant to live.
The 9 steps are safety instructions. So you can live with your eyes open and make good choices. And when your story comes along you won't trap or win Mr. Right but you will be clear to make the best choices and join the story.
I'm married and I definitely see strong parallels in all 9 steps to the unfolding of our story. Read the book, live your life and keep an eye open for your story!
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