Introducing the Recipes
Whether you're a new bride or an old hand at marriage, a collection of fresh and fascinating recipes to add to your repertoire is always welcome. And the recipes in this collection are perfect for you, the busy, overextended, and occasionally conflicted modern wife. Enveloped in them are the secrets -- delicious, distressing, and everything in between -- that accompany women on their marital journeys.
Here are recipes you won't find in just any cookbook. As a young wife and mother, you may favor dishes that are as accommodating as you, like Gender Role Casserole and People-Pleasing Tossed Salad (though you'll eventually gravitate to Way Too Much on Your Plate). A few years into marriage, some restlessness and conflict may arise, making "recipes for trouble" mighty appealing. Sample some Beans 'n' Weenies of Sexual Tension, Old Boyfriend Buffet, or Midlife Stress-Stuffed Cabbage.
If yours is one of the 50 percent of marriages that end in divorce, well, you've still got to eat. Choose from an array of dishes that will leave just the bitter aftertaste you'd expect; Grounds-for-Divorce Meat Loaves and Psychotherapy Pie are just two of the recipes for disaster that will serve you well. For dessert, though, be sure to indulge in Sweet Cakes of Hope.
Finally, our recipes for reconciliation and romance are sure to please those who've found contentment and, yes, even happiness, as they've weathered the joys and challenges of family and married life. Even if you've gotten burned on the stove of marital strife, however, these recipes just might inspire you to find someone new and give it another go. So, get comfortable, pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea, and browse through these secret recipes. Some are delectable, others lamentable, but you're sure to find favorites to serve again and again.
Gender Role Casserole
Serves 1 resentful mom
1 adult female, probably you
1 adult male, presumably your husband
Children, as planned or who just happened
Hard-boiled egg wedges and sliced olives for garnish
Combine yourself with your husband. When you are fresh from the altar, swear you'll never fall into stereotypical gender roles. Allow yourselves to marinate until you've spawned some children.
Perform the following functions: boo-boo kissing, tummy ache rubbing, temperature taking, nose wiping, all school-related stuff (field trip chaperoning, teacher conference going, lunch making or lunch money giving, homework supervising, bake sale baking, etc.), car pool organizing, play date arranging, playground going, appointment making (doctors, dentists, haircuts, music lessons, etc.), meal planning, food and clothing shopping, social organizing, form filling, summer camp arranging, laundry doing, bed making, snack preparing, party giving and going, gift buying, and on and on until you're ready to puke.
Observe your husband at the following: spending increasing amounts of time at work and/or work-related travel, becoming inordinately interested in sports or the Internet, performing occasional minor house repairs, emptying the garbage, and taking sporadic care of the children.
Complain that said husband promised to be an equal partner in domestic duties, upon which he patronizingly explains that since he is earning more money, you should logically take on most of the household and child-care duties. Wonder how you turned into your mother (or grandmother, if your mother was part of feminist movement). Arrange eggs and olives over the top.
Copyright © 2009 by Nava Atlas
