Secret Sex Lives: A Year on the Fringes of American Sexuality [Paperback]

Suzy Spencer (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 2, 2012

New York Times bestselling author Suzy Spencer posted a simple online request: “Need to talk about sex…”

Suzy Spencer set out to investigate sex in America—to go beyond the talk and find out what people are really doing in their private (or not so private) lives. What she discovered online, at sex clubs, and elsewhere was truly eye-opening.

She started talking to men and women—from across America of all ages and sexual orientations—who make no apology for how they fire their imaginations and satisfy their desires. Soon she found herself invited to be a voyeur—listening in on phone sex, reading e-mails describing sexual encounters in graphic detail, and attending BDSM mixers and workshops. It was all astonishing… and enticing. At every turn she felt herself pulled deeper into people’s secret lives and began questioning her own choices about relationships and sex. Secret Sex Lives is an intimate account of a journalist who is seduced by her subject; a woman who sets out to look behind closed doors but ends up on a personal, revealing journey to find herself…

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Suzy Spencer is the author of four true crime books including Wasted, a New York Times bestseller, and Breaking Point, the story of Andrea Yates. She holds a master's of professional writing and a master's of business adminstration, both from the University of Southern California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Berkley Trade; Original edition (October 2, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0425219364
• ISBN-13: 978-0425219362
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #189,606 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Suzy Spencer is the author of "Secret Sex Lives: A Year on the Fringes of American Sexuality," a memoir about her journalistic research into Americans' sex practices. "Spencer (Wages of Sin, 2010) engagingly steers readers through the wonderful world of contemporary sexuality," Kirkus Reviews says about the book.

Suzy is also the author of four true crime books: "Wasted," a New York Times bestseller and Violet Crown Book Award finalist; "Wages of Sin," which was featured on ID network's "Deadly Sins" in 2013; "Breaking Point" the story of Andrea Yates, which was a Book of the Month Club, Doubleday Book Club, Literary Guild and Mystery Guild selection; and "The Fortune Hunter," which was called "riveting" and "blockbuster" by the Globe.

Suzy holds a Master's of Professional Writing and a Master's of Business Administration, both from the University of Southern California. She has appeared on "Katie," "Good Morning America," "ABC World News," "Primetime" "Dateline NBC," Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, Court TV, Oxygen, the E! Channel, and Investigation Discovery.

Currently, she is working on a screenplay.

Follow Suzy on Twitter @spencerwriter.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#87 in Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs

#87 in Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A touching and poignant journey October 10, 2012

By Rebecca

Format:Paperback

I purchased and read "Secret Sex Lives: A Year on the Fringes of American Sexuality" half expecting it to be a somewhat clinical accounting of alternative sex practices in America, with perhaps some tabloid style shock value thrown in. What I found instead was a well written and riveting account of several people's journey of self discovery and exploration into their own sexuality, which at its core is actually more about acceptance and intimacy than the sex act itself.

The compassion and empathy that the author feels for her sources comes through as they share their stories with her one by one and she finds herself questioning her own choices and past relationships. The honesty and openness with which the author approaches this subject and in turn discusses her own struggles was refreshing and poignant, and I found the book and the people in it lingering with me long after I finished reading it.

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Revealing and riveting read about the shadow sex world October 10, 2012

By Lausten Austin

Format:Paperback

"Call me Ishmael." "I've always hated touch." Opening lines from two wanderers who narrate their stories in riveting detail--and both sets of words are statements of unease. In her bold new book "Secret Sex Lives," bestselling author Suzy Spencer turns from true crime to sex. This book takes the reader on a journey to the thinly-covered world of "secret sex" in America. In the process of winding through the labyrinth of Internet-aided hookups, BDSM (bondage/domination/submission/masochism) groups, swing clubs, and other modern methods of exchanging lust, Suzy comes to terms with her own sexuality and how her Southern Baptist upbringing is still affecting her. This sensitive writer who states that she hadn't had sex for ten years would hardly seem to be an appropriate choice to pen such a book. But the ever-tightening conflict between her fear of being touched and her innate desire for it draws the reader into her psyche. Her inner monologue sounds loud and clear when she interviews people like Al, a practitioner of the BDSM lifestyle who says that she is "sending out sexual vibes" at the end of an interview--then gives her a hug that is too "binding" for her comfort. When she talks at length with Dusty, a wealthy rancher who wears pink lingerie. Or when "Coyote," a man she comes to trust more than most of the others tells her more and more about his meetups and reveals that he's had sex with men. Then he starts describing his ideal woman and Suzy realizes he's talking about her. Or when one of the women she discovers, whose comforting presence is like "fingertips on her arm," tells her about her abundant liaisons--which drives Suzy into a flurry of looking up the diseases her new friend may be exposing herself to. Then there's Rex who asks her if she wants to listen in on his phone sex. Her inner voice says "no," but she agrees anyway. As the research process moves on, Suzy is drawn so strongly into the whirlpool of sex that she consents to attending a BDSM meeting in Austin where she submits to having her hands bound. And then in the finale, she travels to New York and Connecticut where she goes to swing clubs with people she has met. These places receive a lavish level of description that rivals Dante's work. OK-- anything beyond this point would be a spoiler. At the end, I found myself having to put the book down and taking deep breaths. (Seriously.) Honestly, I wanted to tell Suzy, "Hey, come on, buddy--let's go get a drink and talk it over." Highly recommended; and my bet is this book is going to be the next hot topic nationwide.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Passion, Curiosity, and Compassion October 22, 2012

By Judith Challis

Format:Paperback

Have you ever wondered how "they" do it? You know all those swingers, S and M people, and the rest of the smorgasbord of sexual adventurers out there? Or are you one of "them" and wonder how the "vanillas" of the world view your culture? Suzy Spencer dives down the rabbit hole of sexual alternative culture in this book and comes out the other side a little bit changed. This is a story within a story. The author delves into her own sexuality and why it is what it is as she examines the rest of the world. A worthwhile read whether you want to be an adventurer, are an adventurer or just want to know what other flavors exist in the sexual universe.