The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Story [Paperback]

Debbie Ford (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 3, 2002

Oprah had a lightbulb moment when she connected with Debbie Ford′s shadow work. Now, Debbie deepens our shadow work and shows how our shadow side holds the key to our happiness. Each of us has a shadow that whispers stories of our own self-defeating fears to us-for example: that we aren′t enough, that we are unworthy of being loved, that we will be deserted by those whom we care about. Debbie guides us to hear those stories and find the positive message within each of them. She shows how understanding our own shadow side can lead us to lives of tremendous fulfillment and peace. Full of case studies and exercises, this book complements her first book on shadow work, which has sold almost half a million copies.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The past is more than prologue, says bestselling author and Chopra Center for Well Being counselor Debbie Ford. The Secret of the Shadow urges readers to create a fresh meaning about their formative experiences, especially the painful ones, and use them to plan a more purposeful and authentic life. Ford believes that each person is born with unique gifts and a divine purpose, which are lost when we create a "story"--a collection of beliefs--that manufactures a false self and casts a shadow to hide our uniqueness and prevent us from success in work and love. As she explains, "the key is to stop chasing the feel-good moments and make peace with our stories so we can understand, accept and embrace everything in the past that has caused us pain." Once we stop trying to change the painful parts of our story, we will discover the divine plan for our lives.

Writing in the voice of the wounded healer, Ford tells her own story of embracing the wisdom and direction she found in facing family and addiction problems. She skillfully offers examples from participants in her workshops at the Chopra center who have leveraged the lessons of a painful past into a purposeful life. She invites readers to "own their whole story" by asking: What is the secret [about you] that your story conceals? What wisdom can you contribute to the world that you couldn't if the events in your life hadn't happened?"

At times, Ford's approach seems derivative of 12-step programs and ersatz Buddhism. And she mixes metaphors of shadows and light with those of a recipe and ingredients. Readers also know that self-reflection, acceptance of life's mixed blessings, and making lemonade from lemons are not new ideas. Yet Ford's passion and persuasiveness make a fresh case for daring to be yourself, learning from experience, and discovering the divine spark that is beyond our understanding. --Barbara Mackoff --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

In her latest book, the author of the bestselling The Dark Side of the Light Chasers decries that so many people have spent so much money in an attempt to gain deep inner peace to no avail. Presumably, Ford considers this treacly volume will be money well spent: employing stories both from her unhappy past and from the lives of people she counsels in her workshops at the Chopra Center for Well Being, she illustrates the steps she claims will lead a person to discover his or her "Divine truth." What initially sounds like the final answer in self-help books is in fact a sincere but cloying mix of Ford's spiritual views and suggested exercises that are all too familiar to dedicated soul-searchers. Incorporating perspectives from various religions, 12-step programs and pop psychology, Ford's advice urges readers to stop blaming other people for their own problems, take responsibility for their own actions and make amends to balance their "karmic scales." The final lesson here is that everything that happens is a blessing, no matter how painful or difficult it may be. Ford advises readers to "step outside" their stories the limited and limiting meanings they have given to events in their lives and to instead realize that they are "Divine" beings with a unique purpose in life and contribution to make. She makes it sound easy and therein lies the problem. (Jan.)Forecast: Ford's previous book, Spiritual Divorce, focused on applying her tenets in specific ways to a specific experience. While her relative fame will guarantee sales, this latest volume offers little more than the well-worn edict to find something good in all "bad" experiences.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne (December 3, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 006251783X
• ISBN-13: 978-0062517838
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #107,791 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Debbie Ford, #1 New York Times best-selling author, educator, founder of The Ford Institute for Transformational Training, and Executive Producer of The Shadow Effect, a cutting-edge transformational DVD, is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation. A pioneering force in incorporating the study and integration of the shadow into modern psychological and spiritual practices, Debbie has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, and is the featured expert on the forthcoming ABC TV show, The Ex-Wives Club. Debbie's eight groundbreaking books, including The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Spiritual Divorce, and The Best Year of Your Life, have sold over 1 million copies, are translated into 32 languages, and are used in institutions of learning worldwide. For more information, visit www.debbieford.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

136 of 137 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Understand and Follow Your Unique Divine Purpose in Life!, December 24, 2001

By 

Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 110,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story (Hardcover)

This book deserves more than five stars! Ms. Ford provides a superb way to help you see past your ego and grasp the Divine meaning of the trials, failures, and successes you have experienced. I found the experience of reading, thinking about the book's contemplation quotes, and employing the action steps took me well beyond what I had learned from any previous book I had read or self-help course I had taken for establishing the right life mission. I am very grateful for this book, and have already given my copy to another person to help share the benefit I received.

The key points in this book are nicely summarized by the author as follows:

"First, we create our life stories in our attempt to become someone or something." These stories are usually built upon setbacks. "Our real fear is the disapproval of others, their harsh judgments, or the withdrawal of their love."

"Second, our stories hold the key to our unique purpose in life and its fulfillment." "It is safe for me to contribute my specialty."

"And third, hidden in the shadow of our story is a very special secret . . . [which will cause us to] stand in awe of the magnificence of our own humanity." When the personal story is removed, the Divine intention becomes apparent.

One's personal story can be found in the themes behind the internal dialogue that runs through our minds all of the time, either putting ourselves down or saying that all is well. The book contains many excellent examples from the author's own life and those of people who have attended her courses or have been coached by her. I found the examples helped me to locate key events that helped form my perspective. Unlike some other teachers in this area, you are encouraged to remember the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Without espousing a particular religion, Ms. Ford advances the idea that everything that has happened to us is Divinely purposeful preparation for our unique role. The stories she shares show how people have created enormous positive results in helping others, often by assisting others to overcome the same issues that were so overwhelming in the helper's own life.

The chapters will take you through quite a lot of good thinking. I especially liked the sixth chapter that uses many different ways to help the reader connect new meaning to the events that have created so much emotional turmoil. "Our shadow beliefs establish our limits." Ms. Ford also understands that thinking can only take you so far. "Our minds cannot take us where our hearts long to go."

There is a good check point near the end to help you test whether you have left the limits of your personal story behind.

If you, like me, have read a lot of self-help books and attended many courses in various self-help subjects, you may be astonished by the number of examples in the book of people, like us, who have been unsuccessfully seeking the inner solution to their lives outside of their lives.

When I finished the book and its action steps, I experienced one of the most important epiphanies of my life. Afterwards, I felt totally at peace. May you, like me, find your daily spiritual purpose!

48 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Forever changed the way I view myself and my world, December 26, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story (Hardcover)

I am familiar with Debbie Ford's other works, however, this book truly feels like her most important message yet.

While reading this book I discovered that everything I had previously thought myself to be -- my past, my beliefs, my feelings, my limitations -- is just part of a story that I created about myself. A story that has kept me small. A story that has prevented me from spreading my wings and flying as high as I am capable. This realization has opened a door in my consciousness that can never again be closed. It has awakened a deep inner knowing of who I am and what my life is about.

What I loved most about this book is Debbie's generous accounts for her own evolution, from living inside her limiting "story" to choosing a life outside of it. The book is filled with practical exercises and meditations that helped me to find the wisdom of my life's experiences, and to see myself as the magnificent spiritual being that I am.

Thank you, Debbie Ford, once again, for taking the light of God out of the shadow. I am deeply touched and forever changed.

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Soul searching in the shadows., February 15, 2002

By 

G. Merritt (Boulder, CO) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story (Hardcover)

Debbie Ford drew a standing-room only crowd during her recent visit to Boulder promoting this book. She is a workshop facilitator at the Choprak Center for Well Being with a background in transpersonal psychology. Ford is an amazing speaker, whose words left me on an emotional high for days.

Perhaps easier said than done, the premise of Ford's new book may be summarized as follows. "Healing the wounds of our past is a sacred process," she observes. "It's a holy event, a moment when we decide to step out of our dramas, the smallness of our individual selves, and see the sacredness of our existence. By gaining wisdom from our emotional wounds, we break free from our past and are able to grasp something truly amazing--our Divine purpose in this life" (p. 122). We create "stories" for ourselves that not only define who we are, but that ultimately separate us from ourselves, others and the world, leaving us begging to belong and and fit in, while draining our energy (p. 9). "When we're living inside our stories," Ford says, "we engage in repetitive habits, abusive behaviors, and abusive inner dialogues" (p. 10). Our stories tell us, for example, that we're not good enough, we're not loved, we're not special, we're undeserving, we're nobodies, we're flawed, and we can't trust. Ford's book demonstrates through example that these stories do not truly define who we are, and serve only to limit our potentials for love, inner peace, success and the lives we dream of living. Through many exercises, she encourages us to step outside our stories, and walk through the dramas of our lives, making peace with ourselves by embracing all that we are and all that we are not (p. 102).

"Close your eyes," Ford said during her recent Boulder appearance, "and imagine the life you'd rather be living. Now open your eyes and start living that life now." Ford's book shows that it's just that easy. Well, almost that easy. Written by someone who has been there, done that, it points the way towards personal growth and how to live a more authentic life. A little twelve-step, a little Buddhist dharma, while the exercises in Ford's inspiring book may not make you feel good at first, they might just leave you feeling real in the end.

G. Merritt