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Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology)
 
 
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Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology) [Hardcover]

Susan Bilheimer (Author), Robert J. Echenberg M.D. (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Book Description

0313359210 978-0313359217 May 19, 2009 1

Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships is the first book to explain how pelvic and sexual pain affects the lives of women (and men) and their partners in their own words/ The work also provides information on cutting-edge research and describes the most effective treatment modalities. Susan Bilheimer, coauthor, shares her own experiences as a patient who has gone down the painful, frustrating road of living with an illness that is often dismissed and not taken seriously. Robert J. Echenberg, M.D., coauthor, has treated over 700 women (and some men) with the disorder. He shares his decades of experience and expertise as a gynecologist and specialist in the treatment of chronic pelvic pain.

Not only does CPP interfere with a woman's physical and mental health, it can wreak havoc in family relationships, ruin careers, and wreck marriages. In the majority of cases, women suffer in silence. Even when they do seek medical help, what they find too often is inadequate care, as most doctors, even gynecological specialists, are not properly trained in recognizing, much less treating, all aspects of CPP.

Through classic, new, and emerging research, with statements from experts and interviews with CPP sufferers and their partners, Secret Suffering exposes and gives strong voice and compassionate understanding to this complex disorder. Most importantly, information on effective treatments for CPP, as well as the depression and other psychological fallout it may cause, are presented. Through Secret Suffering, Bilheimer and Echenberg finally shatter the silence, educate patients, build understanding, and demand that chronic pelvic and genital pain be taken seriously by the medical community.


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Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology) + Ending Female Pain: A Woman's Manual - The Ultimate Self-Help Guide for Women Suffering from Chronic Pelvic and Sexual Pain + Heal Pelvic Pain: The Proven Stretching, Strengthening, and Nutrition Program for Relieving Pain, Incontinence,& I.B.S, and Other Symptoms Without Surgery
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Editorial Reviews

Review

". . . Susan has been a driving force in creating this book and, partnered with Dr. Robert Echenberg, now offers hope and

encouragement to the millions of women struggling with this condition. Secret Suffering: Understanding Women's Sexual Pain and How That Affects Relationships has it all. Patient stories, a husband's point of view, a same sex couples experience with pelvic pain, the dilemma confronting single women with chronic pain, faith and the poignant story of two men who experience sexual pain. They talk about the difficulties working with the medical community but the great hope promised by a new, far more accepting medical paradigm of chronic pelvic and sexual pain. The appendix offers 64 tips to relieve sexual and pelvic pain! I can't say enough about this book. It's now at the very top of books I will be recommending to patients struggling with IC and intimacy. This will, beyond any other book I can suggest, break your isolation and show you that you are not alone and that there is hope! It's truly a must read."

-

Interstitial Cystitis Network



"Drawing on responses to an Internet survey, this book treats Chronic Pelvic Pain (CPP), a 'silent epidemic' said to affect some 15 million American women—and their male/same sex partners. Emphasizing that patients need to be heard and that doctors need to ask the right questions, Billheimer (a freelance writer who shares her struggles with CPP) and Dr. Echenberg (a CPP expert in private practice in Bethlehem, PA) discuss CPP's physiological and emotional aspects and treatment options. The book includes tips to relieve such pain, self-assessment questionnaires, methodological notes, information on running a CPP pain management practice, and a glossary."

-

SciTech Book News



". . . the book's honesty and directness break open awareness of a critically important issue. With the Internet site (http://www.secretsuffering.com) and book release, one expects that Bilheimer and Echenberg have launched a much longer term project. With the conversation out on the table, the work of affecting policy, research, and access to care should begin to move. And many women and men will realize that their suffering does not need to be secret anymore."

-

PsycCRITIQUES

Review

"Susan Bilheimer and Robert J. Echenberg, MD, FACOG have brought to our attention the challenges and severe frustrations of those with Chronic Pelvic Pain. The Secret Suffering will help women and men overcome many of those challenges and not feel so alone in their efforts to overcome such debilitating pain."

(

Lisa Martinez RN, JD
Executive Director, The Women's Sexual Health Foundation

)

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 205 pages
  • Publisher: Praeger; 1 edition (May 19, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0313359210
  • ISBN-13: 978-0313359217
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.5 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,276,770 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

12 Reviews
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 (10)
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1 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars If you suffer from pain during intimacy, this book will be your lifeline. It's wonderful!, June 11, 2009
By 
Jill O. (Wine Country of California, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology) (Hardcover)
When one of every five women between ages 18 and 50 in the United States have sex, it hurts, often badly. Until now, very few patients ever talked about their experience until a new IC hero, Susan Bilheimer, arrived on the scene. A chronic pelvic pain patient, Susan has been a driving force in creating this book and, partnered with Dr. Robert Echenberg, now offers hope and encouragement to the millions of women struggling with this condition.

Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships has it all. Patient stories, a husbands point of view, a same sex couples experience with pelvic pain, the dilemma confronting single women with chronic pain, faith and the poignant story of two men who experience sexual pain. They talk about the difficulties working with the medical community and also the great hope promised by a new, far more accepting medical paradigm of chronic pelvic and sexual pain. The appendix offers 64 tips to relieve sexual and pelvic pain!

I can't say enough about this book. It's now at the very top of books I will be recommending to patients struggling with IC and intimacy. This will, beyond any other book I can suggest, break your isolation and show you that you are not alone and that there is hope! It's truly a must read.

One note! It's too bad that the publisher has set such a high retail price. This book can help tens of thousands of patients but I am afraid that many simply won't be able to afford it. Let's hope that they come out with a paperback soon!!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars disappointed, April 13, 2010
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology) (Hardcover)
I found this book very depressing. The men in the book showed very little compassion for the women suffering from these disorders. I feel like we live in a misogynistic culture where women are expected to please men, and it's okay in our culture if that means women must suffer excruciating pain.

It is a sad commentary on a lack of empathy in men as a whole. I think there are men who would read this book and be ashamed of the behavior of the males in this book. I certainly hope so anyway.

I cannot understand why this book has gotten so many great reviews.

Yes women feel guilty, but they shouldn't feel this way for something that is not their fault. And that guilt should not lead them to feel pressure to engage in sexual activities that are extremely painful.

It's great that this book has brought this subject "out of the closet".

Now it's time to rethink the stigma that is placed on women with legitimate medical sexual pain. It's time for these disorders to receive the publicity they deserve, so that the general public can understand that not only are these disorders physical conditions, but they affect a substantial part of the female population (18 percent of women are diagnosed with vulvodynia- a condition which makes sex impossible in many cases).

A better book is "Let me Count the Ways" by Marty Klein- a book that discusses alternatives to penetrative sex, so that women and/or men who suffer from pelvic dysfunction do not have to feel guilty or pressured to engage in sexual activities that are impossible, uncomfortable, or extremely painful.

WARNING: If you are single and suffering from pelvic dysfunction, this book will only make you despair and feel more alone.

It is not a comforting book at all.

I read this book and felt horrible afterwards...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A long road, June 6, 2009
This review is from: Secret Suffering: How Women's Sexual and Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships (Sex, Love, and Psychology) (Hardcover)
I and am so glad this book has been written. I am currently a patient of Dr. Echenberg-and it had to be divine intervention I found him.I went through so much with my pelvis-saw Dr. after Dr. and it was always the same-there's nothing wrong with you.This book has been a bridge for my family and friends to understand better what I have been going through.It's hard enough for myself tounderstand,but thanks to the book I now can relate my problems with other patients and learn more about my body and how it works.It is A must read-for the patient partner or friend.Don't miss it It's extremely informative and encompasses all areas
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