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Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother Paperback – January 10, 2010
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Top Customer Reviews
Note first, the book is dedicated to the authors mother and the adopted child's birth mother. Second, the author is sharing an open adoption, largely of her choice and entirely of her effort. The adoptive couple hope to provide the child, as he matures, an opportunity to know his biological family. Third, while the author admits (as those of who have tried and failed to conceive must), she doesn't understand how the birthmother can separate herself from her child, she also acknowledges the character and strength it must take to perform that unselfish act.
Anger? Frustration? Yes, there are those emotions. Kept in a 'secret thought' context, fair emotions. Those of us who find ourselves in stable marriages, educationally, and financially independent but infertile, relying on a social worker and a birthmother for a 'stamp of approval', can not help but feel anger at the irony of the situation.
There are a few 'bad' words, (I believe I noted 4), but far fewer than you hear daily if you live and work in soceity.
Far more important is the illustration the author provides of the roller coaster of self doubt and emotion adoptive parents experience. It is reassuring to know 'you are not the first to tread those waters'. Also, her experience with racism is invaluable to those of us who have adopted/will adopt children of a different race.
I do recommend the book.
Ms Wolffs refreshing approach to adoption was like a breath of fresh air after all the "Dear Birthmother" type books us adoptive parents are given to read by adoption professionals, who can't relate.
Her realistic, honest, humorous, touching story is something WE CAN ALL RELATE TO but feel guilty for thinking. FINALLY a book that looks at adoption WITHOUT the rose colored glasses.
A MUST READ for adoptive families and adoption professionals!
I am glad I read it, though. Even with my negative feelings about her attitudes, the book made me see that I'd better evaluate my own attitudes about adoption, especially in regard to birthfamilies. I think it's a book that needed to be written, although I felt it was pretty negative much of the time.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff is a honest and funny book that answers questions that no one else dares to even say out loud: What if I don’t like the kid I... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Kelly
I found this book helpful in the sense that the author is honest and funny about her adoption experience, but overall leaves a bitter taste. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Leah
An excellent book. We just adopted, and this woman said things that I've been feeling. A great book for anyone adopting or has a family member who is adopting.Published 14 months ago by miniguinea73
This book helped me understand that I'm not alone with my mixed feelings and emotions. If you are thinking of adoption it is a must read.Published on October 4, 2013 by patricia clark
Unbelievable scum, jealous because you can't produce your own child, so you take to a book to denigrate natural mothers who have suffered without their children. Read morePublished on April 3, 2013 by Stephanie
I am an adoptive Mother also, but of older children. I appreciated her candor and willingness to bear her soul.Published on April 3, 2013 by T. Frey
Thank goodness Jana Wolff decided to expose her ideas and attitudes toward adoption and her child. Not only is she insightful and open, she is funny. Read morePublished on March 9, 2013 by Jody Cantrell Dyer, author of The Eye of Adoption, the true story of my turbulent wait for a baby
This book was in excellent condition when I recieved it!
My husband and I are adopting and it was good to read about
some of the emotions and feelings we may have that no... Read more
I think this book is a must-read for anyone facing the challenges of infertility or in the process of adopting. Read morePublished on January 24, 2012 by M. Larsen