Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby [Hardcover]

Tracy Hogg (Author), Melinda Blau (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 30, 2001

"GETTING ANY SLEEP?"

It's an insidious myth that all new parents must give up not only their sleep but their entire lives for the first year of a baby's life. Codswallop, says British-born Tracy Hogg. Having worked with more than five thousand babies over the past twenty years, and dubbed "The Baby Whisperer" by her grateful clientele, Tracy has the unique ability to understand a baby's every coo and cry. She can tell instantly whether a baby is hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. But her most amazing gift is her ability to teach parents how they too can "whisper" to their babies.

In this groundbreaking book, Tracy concentrates her vast knowledge (and huge doses of uncommon sense) into simple, accessible programs that parents can begin as early as the first weeks of a baby's life. With these programs you will learn

¸  E.A.S.Y.--how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household's life easier and happier.
¸  S.L.O.W.--how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don't try to feed him when he really wants a nap).
¸  How to identify which type of baby yours is--Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy--and then learn the best way to interact with that type.
¸  Tracy's Three Day Magic--how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby's) in just three days.

But perhaps the most important part of Tracy's philosophy is contained in one word: respect. Tracy advises treating your baby as you would any human being--think twice before shaking loud toys in a baby's face, lifting a baby's legs over her head with no advance warning, or even letting a baby cry it out. At the heart of Tracy's simple but profound message: treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself.

Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The last thing new parents can find time for is quiet reading, so many helpful books on infant care rely on bullet points and a "let's get to the point" writing style. Tracy Hogg, a neonatal nurse, teacher, and mother of two, uses these techniques to good effect in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Focusing on newborns and their parents, her simple programs are a blend of intelligent intuition and methods based on years of experience. The first half of the book is devoted to E.A.S.Y--her name for creating a structured daily routine for you and your baby that makes the most of your baby's awake times and also leaves time just for you. These concepts aren't designed to force your bundle of joy into not following her body's needs, but rather to create a feasible middle ground between total rigidity and on-demand food and sleep (and no time for mom to shower). If it still strikes you as too regimented, keep reading. The author makes room for differences in personal style and includes short quizzes to determine whether you're a "planner" or a "winger", and what level of daily structure you are likely to find helpful. In the same chapter, she identifies five general temperaments of infants, how to get an accurate feel for yours, and what methods of care are likely to be the most effective for his temperament. Her statement that babies prefer routine is backed up by research from the University of Denver. While most of the book relies on anecdotes to get the points across, Hogg does find room to back up some of her statements with quotes from various researchers and institutions. Included at the end of the book are assurances that E.A.S.Y. can be followed even with a colicky baby or one who's been ruling the roost for the first few months. Frustrated parents might like to read the last page first: "all the baby-whispering advice in the world is useless unless you're having a good time being a parent" is an excellent reminder to enjoy this time with all of its ups and downs. --Jill Lightner

From Library Journal

Hogg, an English nurse and founder of Baby Technique, a Los Angeles-based newborn and lactation consulting firm, has a way of calming and caring for babies that led one of her clients to dub her "the baby whisperer." In this, her first book, she teaches parents how to decipher "infants' language"Dtheir cries, gestures, and facial expressions. Her E.A.S.Y. (eat, activity, sleep, your time) method offers a relaxed, commonsense approach. Every aspect of care for mom and baby is covered, with interesting charts and clear references. There are many good books on baby care, such as Arlene Eisenberg and others' What To Expect the First Year (LJ 6/1/89), Jodi A Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night (LJ 6/1/97), and, of course, Dr. Spock's oeuvre, but this book possesses unusual tenderness and heart, and it respects babies as people, albeit little ones. For all public libraries and any parenting shelf, this is the perfect gift for a new mom and family.DAnnette V. Janes, Hamilton P.L., MA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Edition first Printing edition (January 30, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345440757
• ISBN-13: 978-0345440754
• Product Dimensions: 9.8 x 6.8 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (697 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #78,270 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

165 of 182 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not what I'd hoped for, February 12, 2001

By 

Happy Mommy (Idaho) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (Hardcover)

My first impression of this book was that it was like welcoming a sweet English Aunt into your home for a chat about babycare. Her ideas sounded gentle, yet common sense at first.

I do agree with her flexible routine (EASY). I've used this with my daughter who is now 18 months, and my son who is 2 months, though I got it from a different source. Both are great sleepers, so I agree that the daytime routine can affect the nighttime sleep. :)

Beyond that - I found very little of the information in this book to be helpful. Her categories for classifying babies was oversimplified. I don't agree with her opinions of baby bouncers or swings (she's against them completely). And worst of all is her opinions on breastfeeding! Her advice is inaccurate. She tells mothers to supplement with formula before their milk comes in if the baby is less than 6 lbs at birth! She says nipple confusion is a myth. She says that droopy breasts are a result of breastfeeding, though other sources say it's the pregnancy that causes any breast changes - not the breastfeeding. You get the distinct impression that she is very anti-breastfeeding the more you read. As a breastfeeding mother, I was offended by her lack of knowledge of the subject and suprised that she is a lactation consultant (it doesnt show).

Overall, there are some good ideas here if you haven't gotten them from other sources already, but I would really caution a new Mom from taking much of this book too seriously - especially the feeding chapter.

857 of 979 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Bad breastfeeding advice, February 2, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (Hardcover)

There is a lot to like about this book (even though constantly being called "luv" did get old by about page 3)... in many parts there *is* very good advice. Tracy Hogg claims a middle-of-the-road approach to parenting a newborn and I agree with many of her ideas. She does not advocate letting babies cry and communicates overall the belief that parents should respect their babies as the tiny people they are. Overall, there is a lot of comforting stuff in here.

But I have issues with some of her specific advice. First, I find that she's judgmental about attachment parenting in general. I'm no die-hard attachment parent, but I'm no rigid-scheduler either and I totally disagree with her belief that demand feeding, cosleeping and the like teaches a baby bad habits or does not effectively meet their needs. She presumes that if AP doesn't work for some, then it will not work for all and is therefore not even worth trying because you'll end up with a baby with bad habits to break down the road. My experiences with flexibility vs. scheduled routine have been quite different. Gentle transitions from three completely attached newborns to independent individuals without parent-imposed schedules (it's been much more symbiotic than the method Hogg proposes) have worked quite well in our household. While my style may not be right for everyone, it certainly *can* work, something that Hogg fails to recognize. (She believes the "family bed gives parents short-shrift" without acknowledging that it actually *works* for many.)

Then there is the breastfeeding advice. I am disappointed to see someone who calls herself a lactation consultant try to make such a strong case for formula feeding over breastfeeding. As a mom who has both bottlefed and breastfed (and is still breastfeeding), I agree with Hogg that guilt or judgment has NO place in this decision, but I also feel that she has done a great disservice to moms and babies by understating some very important advantages and benefits of breastfeeding. She explains that "one can make a good case for either formula-feeding or breastfeeding." Unfortunately, she never does get around to making the case for breastfeeding.

In this same section, entitled "Making the Choice," Hogg has a sidebar on Feeding Fashions. In this small box, where I presume she's trying to show that while breastfeeding is currently "all the rage," the tide may turn out of its favor in later years as has happened in the past. (It's not clear here whether she's saying therefore don't choose breastfeeding just because it's a modern day "fad" or that if you decide to formula feed against popular opinion, know that 25 years from now it will probably be "the thing to do" just like it was 25 years ago? I don't get it.) She also says here, "As this book is being written, scientists are experimenting with the notion of genetically altering cows to produce human breast milk [yuk]. If that happens, perhaps in the future everyone will tout cow's milk. In fact, a 1999 article in the Journal of Nutrition suggests 'that it may ultimately be possible to design formulas better able to meet the needs of individual infants than the milk available from the mother's breast.'"

Okay, that is fascinating information, but how should it impact any mother's decision *today*? Feed your baby formula now because in the future it might actually be the best choice!? (A statement in itself which is worthy of an opposing dissertation - there are more advantages to breastfeeding than the mere composition of the fluid.)

Later, in the breastfeeding section, she specifically discourages demand feeding - advice which is direct opposition to breastfeeding recommendations endorsed by the majority of professional lactation consultants and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Hogg has a schedule all charted out for new parents, beginning with day one, which becomes increasing less flexible over a three day period, until you're stuck on that infamous three hour schedule by day FOUR and beyond. She promotes pacifier use (she believes in fostering independence from the very beginning), and "dispels the myth" of nipple confusion. And she seems to favor weaning within the first year, which is again not the recommendation of the AAP. Let me say that I actually agreed with some of her breastfeeding advice (don't watch the clock, don't switch sides, find a mentor), but you need to have a pretty discerning eye to know what is the good stuff and what is er, codswallop. Not good for first-time parents or those learning to breastfeed for the first time.

I'm a little surprised that Hogg is an LC at all, because she really doesn't come across as much of a breastfeeding advocate. In the feeding chapter, she puts LLLI and the US Public Health Service (neither seeking profit) in the same category as formula companies, accusing them all of "huge propaganda campaigns." Then she assures moms that SHE, on the other hand, is going to "help you become clearer about your choice, [providing] empowering information - without the rocket science or statistical numwhack that conventional breastfeeding books tend to bombard you with." Ugh.

152 of 170 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Breath of Fresh Air, February 14, 2002

By 

NotBobVila (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (Paperback)

As first time parents, my wife and I were both frustrated and overwhelmed by the conflicting advice that we received even before our daughter was released from the hospital.

In between the feedings and diaper changes during the first few days at home, I read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, which was given to us by a family friend. Finally, there was a sane voice of experience that helped us to find our own way.

Some of the important points of this book:

1. It is normal to feel overwhelmed.

2. Every baby has a unique personality. While Tracy Hogg's categories may be somewhat oversimplified, she does offer a means of identifying your baby's personality so that you may better handle certain situations. No single approach will work with every baby, because they are all different.

3. You are not evil if you choose not to breast feed. This seems to be the subject of most of the negative reviews on this site, which is unfortunate. However, the author does not advocate either breast or formula feeding, she merely presents the pros and cons of each in a balanced manner, and provides reassurance that whatever method you choose, it is your choice to make, and there is no wrong decision.

4. One of the best pieces of advice: follow a structured routine. "EASY": Eat, Activity, Sleep, time for Yourself. This is another area that seems to have drawn criticism from fellow ... reviewers. "EASY" is presented as an alternative to feeding on demand and scheduled feeding. Actually, it is not as much an alternative as it is a combination of the two.
--> Following a set schedule is often impractical, as we found out ourselves while our daughter was still in the hospital. There, feeding took place every three hours, and at the same times. Most of the feedings went well, but at times, it seemed as though we were were force-feeding the poor kid, and it was implied that we were somehow bad parents if she did not finish the prescribed amount. Once we got home, we were able to be more flexible with the feeding times, which is exactly what EASY suggests.
--> What EASY suggests is following a prescribed routine. Eating is followed by activity, and the activity is followed by sleep. And while the baby sleeps, you have time for yourself. The structure is etched in stone, but the times are not. Who will not agree that flexibility is good? And having the structure will help you interpret your baby's cries and decrease the miscues (for example, trying to feed the baby when the baby is actually overstimulated, or over-tired).

5. The author provides guidelines for interpreting your baby's crying.

6. The author also explains how bad habits start and suggests methods for undoing bad habits. For example: allowing the baby to fall asleep on your chest may lead to the baby needing your chest to fall asleep....

7. Babies need to become independent. This means not rushing to the crib everytime they start to fuss. Babies need to learn to self-soothe and often will go back to sleep.

As with any book of this type, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is not perfect, and there is some content that I do not necessarily agree with. But that's okay. The author is writing from personal experience, of which she has a lot. You will not find a whole lot of her advice to be in the vein of "studies have shown..." but rather "what I have learned...."

The style in which the book is written is also refreshingly down-to-earth. She speaks to the reader in a friendly voice that is neither condescending nor inaccessible.

Is this book worthy of addition to your bookshelf? Absolutely. I highly recommend it. Read it once, and you'll refer to it again and again.

The best advice that I can personally give anyone who is a new parent is this: TRUST YOUR OWN INSTINCTS. You will hear and read a lot of conflicting advice, none of which is perfect. You will have to find out what works best for you and your baby. No book can do that for you. Where Secrets of the Baby Whisperer succeeded the most for me was giving me the level of confidence to trust my own instincts, while providing some useful guidelines and advice.