Customer Reviews

The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers: Becoming the Father Your Children Need

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

While I didn't find the "secrets" to be very "secretive" this book is full of sound wisdom and advice. What I appreciated most are the little tips interspersed throughout on the things you can do to have fun with your children on a regular basis.

Every great father is first a great husband. Earlier this year I found The RoMANtic's Guide by Michael Webb. It is full of hundreds of creative ideas that are inexpensive and easy to do.

This book / audio CD describes what the 7 secrets ( characteristics ) of effective fathers are but is insufficient in explaining how to develop these characteristics. It does give some advice about how to develop them but this advice is superficial except for the section about active listening to their children which is quite good. However, for fathers who have significant relationship difficulties with their children, experiencing major challenges in their marriages, work and / or social relationships and undergoing big emotional and financial problems the advice in the book / CD is far from adequate to overcome these problems. Such fathers would benefit much more from reading and applying good books about effective parenting, developing self - esteem, and human relationship skills rather than this one. This book / CD is good in summarizing what most fathers already know ; the 7 secrets / characteristics of effective fathers are not revolutionary discoveries, anybody can guess them. It is still useful to read the book / listen to the CD to make fathers think about and remind themselves about what effective fathers are. However, the advice in this book about these matters is quite superficial and has little practical applicability. It preaches what is obvious to most of us. According to the author the 7 secrets of effective fathers, not necessarily in the same order as the author put them are :

* Consistency of attitude,
* Demonstration of ownership of their children,
* Providing for their families financially
* Loving their children's mother,
* Living a spiritual ( Christian ) life and developing that in
their children
* Actively listening to their children
* Being a good role model to their children in every way

The book / CD is also good for religious, esspecially Christian fathers who esteem raising their children as good Christians. But if as a father you are neither religious nor Christian the frequent referrals to God, the Bible and Christianity may put you off.

I am a father of two sons, 10 and 16 years old, and benefitted from listening to this CD to consolidate in my mind the characteristics I must further develop in myself. However, I found much more concrete advice and strategies about how to deal with specific crises situations particularly with adolescents, and methods to develop my character in some other effective parenting and in self - esteem development books. Among them four such books that I recommend are " Yes, your teen is crazy " by Michael J. Bradley and " Surviving your adolescents " by Thomas W. Phelan , " The Six Pillars of Self -Esteem " by Nathaniel Branden and Parent Effectiveness Training " by Thomas Gordon which concerns parenting young children and teens. All four books also give concrete case studies and various ways to handle not only relationships with children but also marriage relationships of their parents. The Six Pillars of Self - Esteem explains very well how anybody whether a parent or not can develop his / her self - esteem and if he or she is a parent how he / she can develop self - esteem also in his / her children.

Fathers who need to develop their fathering and marital relationships very often also lack skills in dealing with people in social and work environments. To develop these skills they would greatly benefit from reading and applying also " How to win friends and influence people " by Dale Carnegie. This book has very rich material on parenting, esspecially fathering, marriage, social and work relationship skills. As fathers we need to organize our lives much more effectively so we can not do without reading " The 7 habits of highly effective people " by Stephen Covey. A father must also be an effective thinker ; many books by Edward de Bono and Tony Buzan are the best for that purpose. To be an effective father you can not neglect your health ; for this I strongly recommend that you read an excellent book named " Younger Next Year " by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge MD. Finally, a father has to provide financially for his family and may even want to go beyond that by creating significant financial wealth. An excellent book for anybody including a father aiming to do that is " 8 steps to 7 figures " by Charles Carlson. Some of these books are also available as audio books. You can see my separate detailed reviews of some of those books too. There are of course many other good self help books on these subjects, I read some of them and gave examples here.

You don't have to agree with everything that is said in these books, I certainly don't but they are still very useful in explaining how as parents, spouses, and humans in general we must change our behaviors and develop our characters and relationships, take control of our thoughts and emotions, organize our thinking and our lives and develop a decent material standard of living for our families. If you are already doing most of these right you will find confirmation of your applications in these books.

Some people benefit greatly from such self - help books. However, for some others self help books may not be sufficient by themselves. They may also need to get help from a good psychotherapist. How to find a good psychotherapist ? For this purpose I recommend an excellent book I read called " A consumer's guide to choosing the right therapist " by Ronald W. Pies.

This was a very good book. I have a teenage stepdaughter, and a one month old daughter. This book laid down the foundations for fathering of both children with Godly principles. A definite must read for us "dads in progress."

We're due to have our first child in about a month. I was looking for an inspirational and also educational book to give my husband as a "father-type" gift. I leafed through this book and several others before choosing this one. Once I got it home, I read through it before giving it to him and I really liked it. The topics are so important and the author does a great job of addressing each one in a way that builds up and motivates you instead of talking down to you.
There is lots of helpful advice and I can tell the author researched the book thoroughly.

As a new dad, this book helps prepare for me what lies ahead and points me in the right direction. While Canfield's writing style isn't strong and the book is not as concise as one would like, the ideas he presents are very relevant and challenging. He strikes a good balance between communicating the serious responsibility it is to be a father and instilling confidence that the potential to be great is within every father. If you are a father, this book is worth your time. Also, the appendecies contain some great information, so be sure not to overlook them. Recommended.

Dr. Canfield's bookcover proclaims that The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers is "solid scientific research," but as an empirical work it is lacking.

First, Ken Canfield can hardly be called a rigorous researcher, having been published only twice in peer-reviewed journals. Both of his published articles were published in the early 1990s. To his credit, both of his articles were published in reputable, scientific journals (a quick search of EBSCO HOST research databases reveals zero entries for Dr. Phil McGraw).

Second, Dr. Canfield bases his findings in The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers on the results of data obtained through his measurement scale, the Personal Fathering Profile (PFP).

The PFP does demonstrate satifactory INTERNAL reliability, meaning that the PFP does not contradict itself. However there is no indication by Dr. Canfield that the PFP demonstrates external reliability, meaning that test results are consistent over time and setting.

Also, the PFP is not noted in Dr. Canfield's book as demonstrating validity, a psychometric term connotating the degree to which the questionaire actually measures what it is supposed to measure.

The PFP uses the opinions of "helping professionals" as a basis for determining which fathers are "effective fathers." It may have been more accurate to determine fathers' "effectiveness" by measuring the levels of their children's success, health and happiness instead of using subjective opinions.

Finally, the PFP's participant sample consisted of fathers that are 87% white and 73% college educated with an average income of $49,000.00 (in 1994). Dr. Canfield admits that these numbers are skewed towards a higher than typical socio-economic-status.

With this said, Dr. Canfield's book may be helpful to fathers seeking direction and affirmation in their parenting. However it is unreasonable to assume that the statements in the book reflect scientific fact as much as Dr. Canfield's opinions and experiences.

I found this book nauseatingly sugary sweet. I bought the book wanting to be the best dad I could be. The stuff here is so obvious.
Women may love this and will probably buy it for new-dads.

Dad's - forget this one.

Despite the stupidity of Hollywood and Adam Sandler's sorry attempt to act as a Dad; Ken Canfield provides real encouragement!

A great book, from a great Dad!