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Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love [Hardcover]

Jill Zarin , Lisa Wexler , Gloria Kamen
2.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (197 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 15, 2010
The Jewish Mother knows what she wants. And what you should want too. In Secrets of a Jewish Mother, you'll learn how to make her methods your very own, and as result you'll give and get of love and happiness in great amounts.

In what could be thought of as the Jewish Mother's Guide to Life, Jill Zarin, the breakout star of Bravo's hit series, The Real Housewives of New York, teams up with her sister, Lisa Wexler, award-winning host of daily radio program The Lisa Wexler Show, and her mother, the estimable Gloria Kamen who made a splash on Jill's series last year. Secrets of a Jewish Mother shows readers that being clear about what you want is the best policy, and standing up for yourself and your family is always the right way to go. Using real life examples, stories from Jill, Lisa and Gloria, this mother/daughter trio reveals their secrets to life, love, and happiness.

Some of their Jewish Mother tips include:

• Dating: "A good man is hard to find, but so is a good woman. Don't settle for less than you deserve."
• Parenting: "Fair is not always equal; equal is not always fair."
• Family: "Bar mitzvahs and weddings: The grudge starts here."
• Money: "Don't wait 'til you're dead to give it away."
• The clichés that matter: "Bring a gift."

And, remember, a lot of love and a little matzoh ball soup never hurt anyone.


Frequently Bought Together

Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love + A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The latest of TV's Real Housewives of New York City to enter the publishing arena, Zarin wisely recruits her sister, radio host Wexler, and their mother, online columnist Kamen, to produce an opinionated guide to life from the point of view of three Jewish moms-the kind whose "stereotypical traits" ("domineering, interfering, tactless and loud") have resulted in strong families and successful careers. Insisting that "if a lesson is worth teaching once, it is worth teaching at least two thousand times," the trio use a conversational, collaborative approach to make each themed chapter (including dating, health and beauty, education, career, and, of course, parenting) stick, trading off charismatic group narration with first-person interjections and personal stories that expand upon traditional, time-tested advice: "We come from a long line of long marriages. ...We were taught it is normal to go through bad times in a marriage, even bad year." They also provide "ask yourself" questions to motivate further exploration, and a short chapter on "Superstitions and the Clichés that Matter." Honest, self-aware, and frequently funny, these women deliver a triple-strength dose of universal advice.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Honest, self-aware, and frequently funny, these women deliver a triple-strength dose of universal advice."
-Publisher's Weekly

"A great book this Mother's Day"
-MSNBC's Morning Joe

"Filled with candid, humorous and loving advice and personal glimpses into their lives, this trio offers up some tips we should all heed and live by...This is a thoroughly enjoyable read and should be passed around to mothers, daughters, sister, nieces, aunts, girlfriends and all ladies who might enjoy reading and discovering that in the end we are all basically the same - with the same hopes and desires - and remember an old adage redefined here: 'Hell hath no fury like a [Jewish] mother scorned!' Bravo! to Kamen, Wexler and Zarin (and I don't mean the TV channel)."
-Hamptons.com

"Reading Secrets of a Jewish Mother is like a sitting around the kitchen table with a pot of coffee and a chocolate bobka, listening to advice from old friends."
-Barbara Bietz, author of Like a Maccabee.

"[Jill Zarin's] sharing little pearls of wisdom, along with her mom, Gloria Kamen, and sis, Lisa Wexler, in the book Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love. (Just in time for Mother's Day!) Their prescription for successful parenting (friendships, dating, etc.) has a universal quality to it, so it's not only for Jewish moms."
-UrbanBaby.com

"I felt this book was incredibly smart. It shows the ups and downs of these three women's lives. Like the book title says "Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love." Nothing is sugarcoated and artificial. I really like how each chapter of the book has stories from each person's life. How Jill dealt with divorce, Gloria's struggle with her friendships at certain points in her life, and Lisa's view on money...In conclusion, I really feel this book is a wonderful read. It makes you think differently about life in certain ways that you normally don't."
-Sammi's Blog of Life

"...an astonishing cornucopia of heartfelt insights from three savvy, headstrong women who share tried- and-true strategies for dealing with universal issues relating to friendship, dating, marriage, parenting, and family, and you don't have to be Jewish to appreciate it."
-Elise Pearlman, Huntington Patch

"All-in-All, I love everything that the three mothers had written. I did learn quite a bit of things from each and every one of them. I liked the fact they each gave their own advice and stories in each chapter. From friendship, dating, beauty, marriage, parenting, money and more, this is a great book and a keeper! Another part I liked was in the chapters there was a section called 'Ask Yourself', because I do find myself answering the questions... So I would like to say Mazel Tov to Jill, Lisa and Gloria. Toda. Thank you for letting me read this wonderfully written book."
-Momsword.org

"It's not just a Jewish mother that has these secrets, it's a lovely book."
-Kathy Lee Gifford, Today

"It's a good book, check it out."
-Steve Doocy, Fox & Friends

"From friendships to love, marriage and children, the book covers many aspects of life with laugh-out-loud stories and pointed advice the [authors] have learned as Jewish mothers and Jewish daughters."
-SavvyAuntie.com

"No-nonsense advice."
-Daily Beast

"Practical advice. A mother's wisdom: Know how to laugh at yourself apologize when you're wrong and always carry pepper spray!"
-Star

"Aside from advice on raising kids and stories from Kamen and her daughters, Secrets of a Jewish Mother deals with marriage, friendship, dating, money, and more, and includes practical quizzes and self- assessment action steps."
-Shalom Life

"You don't have to be Jewish to read this book, but after reading this book everyone will want to be Jewish. The best practical advice a girl could need from three extraordinary Jewish mothers....Jill's, Lisa's, and Gloria's advice will save you a lifetime of aggravation."
-Patti Stanger, Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker

"Gloria epitomizes the Jewish Mother! She has a heart of gold and earrings to match!"
-Fran Drescher

"You don't have to be Jewish to need a good Jewish mother. Gloria has sooooooo much good advice....Chicken soup has got nothing on this lady."
-Molly Shannon


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 300 pages
  • Publisher: Dutton Adult (April 15, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0525951792
  • ISBN-13: 978-0525951797
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 2.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (197 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #856,461 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

P.S. I didn't even know who Jill Zarin was when I read the book. D. Emery  |  81 reviewers made a similar statement
If I could have given it zero stars, I would have. Word Lover  |  13 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
121 of 129 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Is this book a parody? Where's Alan Funt? April 30, 2010
Format:Hardcover
I heard the controversy behind this book and had to see it for myself.

I found it hard to put down - and not in a good way. I was driven by morbid curiosity, like rubbernecking at a car accident.

Now I don't know who Jill Zarin is and have never watched "Real Housewives of New York" but as I skimmed through the book I found the nuggets of wisdom to be either pretty much common sense or, more often, "Tips on how to perpetuate any number of negative stereotypes about Jewish people and New Yorkers."

Want to "get" a man? - then you need fake lashes, big hair and red dress out. Don't settle for less than you deserve - unless he makes good money. It's better if he loves you more than you love him (where's did I put my Love-O-Meter?) Great tips if your goal is a loveless marriage on Long Island Sound!

The rest of the tips were pretty strange and flaky - I suppose if you're living off your parent's dime and dating a dentist then you don't care about taking your dinner home from a restaurant.

In between the "car crashes" was a lot of gossipy, syrupy stuff about growing up - I found these stories to be incredibly boring but I guess some people watch Nascar for the car wrecks too.

The more I read it the more I couldn't believe this was a serious self-help book. Was this written by monkeys? Published by The Onion? I peeked behind the potted plant to see if there was a hidden camera.

Perhaps the title should be "Secrets of a Jewish Mother: how to make sure you and your daughters are attractive and financially secure but still as miserable and petty as you are."

I'm waiting for the "Real Housewives of West Virginia" version to come out. That should be good for some laughs too.
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321 of 352 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not happy! Not happy! April 15, 2010
Format:Hardcover
Secrets of a Jewish Mother is ostensibly a collection of warm fuzzies about life, love, and friendship from two generations of a Jewish family. The entire reason for its having been written in the first place, however, is to satisfy the ego of Jill Zarin, currently on the cast of the Real Housewives of New York City. Every week we see our beloved author constantly degrade and demean former friends, turn up her nose at the lower classes, and in general act like an entitled snit. Yet we are supposed to listen to what she says, even though it comes from quite a disingenuous source.

Fortunately the book never tries to be anything but what it is, a trite hodgepodge of anecdotes that anyone over 13 should have learned simply by being a member of society. There is nothing new here, no deep psychoanalysis, no revelatory theories about what makes people tick, nothing that you couldn't glean from a few hours watching Lifetime. Then again, with Jill Zarin on the cover did you expect anything more than banal, uninspiring melodrama? Get a hobby.
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234 of 256 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worthless and Hypocritical April 15, 2010
By J.M.
Format:Hardcover
I read this book and am ashamed and sorry I did. It was a total waste of my time and the advice is worthless. Marry rich so life will be easier? That's been said for centuries and doesn't make for a happy life. It's also shallow, deceitful and insincere. If taking Jill's advice is supposed to be some profound revelation - it's not. Common sense will serve you better than to listen to someone that acts in such a mean and hateful manner. It's written to take advantage of her quasi-celebrity and to make a fast buck. Save your time and money.
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312 of 344 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Refund please April 21, 2010
Format:Hardcover
Sorry people but this is one awful book. The "Life lessons" Ms. Zarin keeps wanting to give only apply to rich, egotistical people like the authors. So glad that in my 62 years I really know what friendship is. The lessons of life I have learned have come from within, not from money. I am glad that Ms. Zarin followed her marriage advice because I could not fathom her having to work for a living, lol. And her diet is hilarious. From reading this book, i now appreciate my life so much more. Ms Zarin, I do hope you end up dong something worthwhile with you financially stable existence instead of what you have presented so far. What a waste.
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103 of 110 people found the following review helpful
By Jacinda
Format:Hardcover
This book exemplifies that quote perfectly. The advice given in this book is rather elementary to put it mildly. Condescending might be another way to put it. For example, 'take responsibility for your actions,'& 'be happy for your friends when good things are going on for them.' This is how most people live anyway. The fact that it's being written in a book as a 'newsflash' suggests the authors have no faith in people or do not view others in a very compassionate way. This was also evident in the combative tone. The overall feel of the book is that it's from the point of view of people who do not view others as being valuable (unless you're an eligible bachelor with $$). In fact, people described in the book (in their stories) are most often portrayed as outsiders who don't understand them & whose actions and feelings don't have validity. For example, Lisa tells a story of a girl who wasn't worth her time while she was alive (the tone again was hostile) but when she dies, Lisa went to the funeral & the family members got angry with her for ignoring the girl all her life- which she evidently thought was wrong of them to feel (and seemed unaware of how high emotions run at a funeral, esp. one for a younger person). Gloria tells a story about how her group of girlfriends dropped her & the conflict was never resolved- with the message being that they (collectively) must have been wrong and she, right. Jill tells a story about a falling out she had w/ a friend & again there was no resolution (just a tacit implication that he wasn't worth it anyway). It would appear that the average person is more socially skillful, could have handled these situations better, and probably learned more from the experiences than these authors did.... Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars two stars for the common sense advice everyone knows already
I'm not sure I'll be able to finish this book. The only things I agree with are common sense things in life that everyone with a brain already knows. The other stuff is fluff. Read more
Published 21 days ago by Tara V. Murphy
1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible Terrible Terrible
One of the worst books ever written. I definitely lost a few brain cells thanks to this book. Almost wish I had a time machine to get back the wasted time reading this garbage. Read more
Published 8 months ago by HamptonsHunnie
1.0 out of 5 stars JUST AWFUL
I bought as a gift 4 bridal shower basket. I also bought one for my Kindle. I was shocked a truly AWFUL READ. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Katheder
5.0 out of 5 stars AWESOME READ!
This book is an "awesome read" that I am sure I will read more than once! Originally I had checked it out from the library but after the 1st couple of chapters I decided it was... Read more
Published 19 months ago by b bass
4.0 out of 5 stars Why all the bad reviews???
This was a really cute & entertaining book. I don't understand all the harsh reviews, some people are so negative & judgemental towards others. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Mistli78
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of time, paper and intellect
Poorly written nonsense. Jill Zarin and her mother and sister are vain shallow cold-hearted women abd they are not afraid to show it. Sad.
Published 21 months ago by Irina
5.0 out of 5 stars Pretty good!
People seem to be down on this book but in general I think it's a very good read. I would recommend it to anyone looking for something real and fun to read. Read more
Published 21 months ago by SCA
1.0 out of 5 stars I wish you had negative stars ratings
Nothing more to say except, seriously? This is proof that anyone get a book published.
Sadly, real talented writers struggle to get their work out to the world... Read more
Published 21 months ago by MeliMalSal
1.0 out of 5 stars Kindling
I have never picked up such a waste of paper. I found the book on a chair at the airport terminal and since I had forgotten to pack a book, I decided to read this. Mistake!!!!! Read more
Published 21 months ago by Atticus
1.0 out of 5 stars Pass!!
I like NHONY, I wanted to like the book. But it was a complete waste of time. Bad advice. Poorly written. Luckily I borrowed the book from a friend. Don't waste your money!
Published 24 months ago by c_sanrick
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Has anyone who once was a Zarin fan changed their minds b/c of the newly...
The only reason anyone would have bought this book to begin with, is if they were a fan of hers from watching the show, or maybe a curious viewer. Too many episodes have now aired, showing her true character. At this point, does she have any fans left on the Planet Earth? Sales are low, and her... Read more
Apr 23, 2010 by EmilyM. |  See all 92 posts
jill was responding here under an assumed name reviewing her own book
On the last screen shot on Gawker you will also see where this same reviewer threatened me since I didn't find her book to my taste.

Reviewing one's own book? Forgiveable though not ethical.
Calling an honest reviewer antisimitic and threatening to take their pet because she said she didn't like... Read more
Apr 21, 2010 by Chandler |  See all 32 posts
jill zarin = bad for the jews!
she is an embarassement to Noo Yawkers, her beloved BAwwwwby, her daughter, the faaaaaaaabulous circle of friends she runs with (JOn Gosselin, Michael Lohan and other douchebags) and yes even to Jews. She plays into the negative stereotype. Pity.
Apr 16, 2010 by Sennie |  See all 18 posts
Jill on Andy Cohen
Too bad Andy didn't suggest a drinking game ahead of time--for everytime Jill said "Read the book." Or (my favorite) "It's in the book." YIKES.
Apr 24, 2010 by M. Hindin |  See all 10 posts
the real reson for jill's classless and vindictive behavior
Thank you Allana! You've said it better than I ever could. I did like Jill for the first two seasons, but now I can't even stand to see her face or hear her voice. And like you, if someone ("Jill") wants to insult me, bring it on!
Apr 24, 2010 by M. Hindin |  See all 27 posts
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