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Secrets, Lies, Betrayals: The Body/Mind Connection [Hardcover]

Maggie Scarf (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)


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Book Description

May 11, 2004
Reading Maggie Scarf’s groundbreaking new book could change your life. In Secrets, Lies, Betrayals, the bestselling author of Unfinished Business, Intimate Partners, and Intimate Worlds brilliantly explores how the body holds on to painful episodes from the past—including secrets we may be keeping even from ourselves—and how we can release them to live freer, healthier lives.

The body has a unique memory system, in which early trauma and deeply buried feelings become woven into the fabric of our physical being. Certain events can trigger these body memories, which may then manifest themselves symptomatically—as persistent anger, mood swings, headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue. These echoes from the past also cause destructive patterns in our lives and relationships.

Why does a beautiful, successful woman like Claudia seek out abusive, explosively tense relationships in which she is forced to hide the truth about herself? Why does the presence of a strange woman’s name in her husband’s cell phone directory make Karen feel physically ill, to the point where she cannot get through her daily life? And why does the author herself experience painful physical symptoms when she wrestles with contradictory memories of her mother? Exploring these and other personal narratives, Scarf reveals how the body, through its neurobiological systems, retains some of life’s most important experiences—and describes how new power therapies, such as reprocessing and psychomotor, have had immediate results where traditional therapies have had a lower success rate.

Grounded in recent breakthroughs in mind/body science and drawing on Scarf’s personal experiences, this book is a masterpiece of research, analysis, and insight into the human psyche, and into human life.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Bestselling author Scarf (Intimate Partners; Unfinished Business) explores new therapies that claim to be able to "reprocess" or "detoxify" traumatic memories through physical manipulation of the nervous system. Via accessibly presented neuroscience, Scarf explains how the body stores memories of intensely stressful experiences. A writer rather than a clinician (she's a senior fellow at Yale's Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy), Scarf generates her data through meeting women subjects in marital distress and exploring their pasts through gentle discussion. Throughout, Scarf weaves her own autobiographical reflections, centered on painful memories of an autocratic father and a negligent mother. Seeking to advance her own emotional well-being, she enters into a reprocessing therapy session and becomes an advocate of the technique; she persuades one of her subjects to try it out, with apparently successful results. Although the physical ailments presented in Scarf's account seem extremely slight, she makes much of a sense of emotional breakthrough and release. Scarf's investigation into the methodology of reprocessing therapies is scientifically limited, yet she does allow us some insights into how they function. Admirers of her work will enjoy her ability to evoke relationship dynamics (including abusive relationships), her seductively flowing style and her emphasis on perceptive readings of life histories. Readers with a serious interest in psychology will find little cutting-edge scholarship here, and some may question why all Scarf's subjects are women.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Scarf, author of Unfinished Business (1980), explores how life traumas are imprinted on the body and relived through a variety of symptoms from headaches to muscle tension and from memory lapses to persistent latent anger. Through case studies, she focuses on people whose lives are dictated by past experiences they attempt to keep secret even from themselves, unable to break the pattern partly because the experiences are stored in their bodies. Among her case studies is Claudia, a woman who has repressed many of her painful memories and marries a man very similar to her emotionally abusive father. Interspersed with the case studies are Scarf's own personal revelations of a neglected childhood she is only beginning to acknowledge. Scarf cites neurobiological research showing that memories exist at a physical as well as a psychological level. She discusses new "power therapies," some of which she has tried herself, which are aimed at treating both the mind and the body, accessing parts of the body that are linked to emotions, releasing the body memories, and beginning the process of healing. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Random House (May 11, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0679457038
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679457039
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.4 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #329,940 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I began my career as a free-lance journalist, writing a great many articles for the New York Times Magazine and the New York Times Book Review. My first book, Body, Mind, Behavior, was a collection of essays - New York Times articles, for the most part.
Then, one day, I began leafing through a book on the subject of women and depression. The statistics were astonishing - in every study done, world-wide, there were at least 2 depressed women to every man and sometimes 5 women to every man. So I decided to go beyond the statistics, and talk to women. The result of that work was Unfinished Business: Pressure Points in the Lives of Women. To everyone's surprise, and certainly to my own - the book became an instant New York Times best seller.
After that book, and its paperback version, were behind me, I got to work on a book on couples; this became Intimate Partners, Patterns in Love and Marriage. In that instance, I hit the jackpot once again, for that book was on the New York Times bestsellers list for several months, and the paperback was a best seller as well.
These books were followed by a book on families, Intimate Worlds; How Families Thrive and Why they Fail. My next work was on the subject of trauma. It was called Secrets, Lies, Betrayals: the Body/Mind Connection. My most recent book is September Songs; the Bonus Years of Marriage, which focuses on couples over fifty. When I began my research and interviews for that book, I realized how little was known about these older adults - the huge number of folks in their fifties and sixties - who represent the leading edge of the baby boom. What's next? I'm just beginning work on a book about remarriage!
On a more personal level, I'm married to a Professor of Economics at Yale and am the mother of three grown daughters..

 

Customer Reviews

12 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A profoundly informative book., March 25, 2006
I am considered a successful woman, educated and accomplished, yet like many others, suffered significant physical and emotional abuse as a child of old world parents. While there is a wide variety of therapy and therapists, I never felt successful at it. I never felt free of the "deep feelings of rejection", or cured of depression. I was profoundly affected by reading this book and was ready to fly anywhere I could engage in EMDR therapy. I did find a psychiatrist locally who agreed to work with me and it has absolutely changed my life. I experienced profound realizations and consider myself "cured", finally free from past negative experiences. I'm not a healer, don't know all the buzzwords like immunoneuropsychology. I just know that this book completely turned me over and shook me up and showed me the possibility of life-altering changes within me.
If you have a science background, and enjoy reading about biochemistry, another great book on the physical/emotional connection is "Molecules of Emotion" by Dr. Candice Pert.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The cutting-edge treatment described first-hand, June 4, 2004
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This review is from: Secrets, Lies, Betrayals: The Body/Mind Connection (Hardcover)
Having used EMDR in my clinical practice for 10 years, I am delighted to have Maggie Scarf's book available to clients and practitioners alike. It is extremely user-friendly in its explanation and description of EMDR treatment. Scarf's personal journey candidly gives a riveting birds-eye view of her own therapy. Clinicians worldwide know first-hand about the efficacy of this treatment. Now the public will have the chance to understand the importance of the mind-body connection in the treatment of psychological problems. It seems to be a "secret" that EMDR has been approved as one of the few methods effective in the treatment of trauma by the Department of Defense, the U.S. Veterans Administration, the American Psychological Association, and The International Society of Traumatic Stress. The Northern Ireland Department of Health, the Israeli National Council for Mental Health, the Red Cross Disaster Mental Health, the United Kingdom Department of Health, and many other countries recommend EMDR as a first-line treatment. Volunteer clinicians in EMDR's Humanitarian Assistance Program have trained thousands of clinicians as well as treated thousands of survivors of disasters around the world: Oklahoma City, NYC 9/11, Columbine, Dunblane Scotland, the Balkans, and following earthquakes and natural disasters in Turkey, Bombay, Bangladesh, Central and South America. Scarf's book touches on some of this research and gives a genuinely understandable introduction to the physiology of the brain/body connection so necessary in accessing and treating long-buried issues. It is a must-read book for anyone interested in the cutting edge of psychotherapy treatment. Moreover, it is a pleasure to read.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book for professionals and general readers, May 23, 2004
This review is from: Secrets, Lies, Betrayals: The Body/Mind Connection (Hardcover)
As in her previous books, Maggie Scarf has tackled an original, fascinating, and complex subject relating to the psyche, integrated both science and psychology, and presented it in a form that appeals to professionals and non-professionals alike.

This time, it's the mind-body connection, with particular reference to early traumas such as emotional abuse. Presenting examples from interviews and her own life, Scarf shows how memories of traumatic experiences may be stored in a tiny brain structure known as the "amygdala" for days or even years, long after the original event. Thus, she shows, the body remembers and holds memories of traumas even at a cellular level. Through numerous interviews, Scarf illustrates how such long-retained memories can affect present-day experiences, even those with no apparent connection to the original event.

There's so much more to this book than this brief a review can convey. If you have an interest in trauma, or the mind-body connection, I urge you to read this book.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
IT'S STILL NOT CLEAR HOW OR WHY THAT STRANGE MISUNderstanding occurred. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
neglectful part, creeping distance, nervous circuitry, reprocessing therapy, emotionally abusive relationship, ideal father, family genogram, therapeutic structure
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Claudia Martinelli, Patti Levin, Karen Barry-Freed, Deirdre Carmody, Maggie Scarf, Francine Shapiro, Dave Lucas, New Haven, Prince Jon, Stan Freed, Who's Margo, Anne Bailey, New Hampshire
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