Customer Reviews

The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life and Love Tougher Than It Has to Be

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I picked this book up because of the title...and WOW!!!! Women...if you really want to know what men go through...this is a MUST read!!! I am newly married, and this book gave me the insight to really start my marriage off on the right foot. My husband picked up the book and said that Steve is accurate on every item. If you are questioning what to give as an awesome wedding, engagement, or shower gift..this is it!

Where was this book 36 years ago when we first got married? :)

This is slightly different than most books about men/women/relationship since it is based on a survey (questions and answers are listed in the back of the book) given to Christian and non-Christian men. The author then takes the results of the survey and divides it into several sections. He uses many different resources to back up his opinions and insights as he seeks to help us all understand why men do or don't do what we think they should do, or say or won't say what we want them to say.

I highly recommend this book to women who want to understand the men in their lives better and to men who are seeking to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, especially regarding relationships with women.

Sometimes it was painful to read the ways I have failed my husband, but if you don't know what the problem is, it's really hard to fix it. I also think the book explains things in such a way that it makes it easier for us (my husband and me) to talk about the differences together, without it coming across in an accusatory way.

This book has been a real eye-opener to me (and I had already reads LOTS of books about male/female relationship). Highly recommed it for the insight and practial ways to apply what was learned.

This is an excellent book not only for men to read but women as well. It is full of specifics to improve your life and is written in an easy to read format. My life has improved after just one reading and I have highlighted several pages for my wife to read. Get this book!

As a man, this book really hits home because it talks about all of the "secrets" men keep inside, too afraid to let out because they think they're the only ones who feel this way. For a woman, this will help you better understand your man so that more open communication can be had.

I can only say that this book really opened my eyes to the things that men worry about, think about, and struggle with. The chapter on Respect (what men equate to love) was worth the price of the book! I highly recommend the book to anyone caught in the cycle of "if he would love me, I'd respect him" and "if she respected me, I would love her". It challenges the reader (be it man or woman) to go ahead and make the first move toward restoring the relationship. Plus a ton of other goodies by way of information from a man's mind.

In The Secrets that Men Keep, Stephen Arterburn asks a group of men a series of questions in the form of a survey which he then editorializes on from chapter to chapter. Topics include finances, fame, family, feelings, spirituality, relationships, and sexuality.

One problem with the book is that many of the questions seem to be relatively arbitrary, or no-brainers at best. Although I am not an expert, I wonder about the accuracy of the survey and the manner in which it was conducted (sampling size, biased wording of the questions, etc.). Treatment of any given subject is somewhat superficial. Some of the topics seem to be common knowledge rather than "secrets". And research into various topics in several instances apparently went no farther than a quick "Google" of a few key words.

If you can take these possible weaknesses into account and not expect deep, overly profound answers to the issues discussed in each chapter, then you may find this book to be an enjoyable read covering a wide range of topics. Chapters are short and concise. Each chapter will allow you to briefly reflect on a different area of your life. I was glad I read this book alongside some of the heavier material I was reading at the same time.

I purchased this book and after a couple of chapter went back and started over, this time taking notes. I then had my wife read it and it helped her to understand better who I am and how she could help me with my walk with Christ and being the man that God wants me to be. I also bought one for my accountability partner and we generated questions we ask each other every week to help each other. Nothing compares to the Holy Word of God, with that said, this is an excellenty written book and although not all of it will apply to you there are many areas it will help you to refocus on the areas you are strong in and avoid the areas in life you are weak. Each chapter has a section titled "New Directions" followed by "New Connections" and these give you ideas to move you closer to the man you are supposed to be. I hate to read and usually listen to audio books while driving, I will read this one again.

This book is based completely on a survey that is written in such a way to further the authors agenda. While I agree with a lot that the author says, if you really look at the survey of 3600 men you can see that the questions don't measure what a man believes about himself but rather his beliefs about other men. The questions ask if you agree with statements and then uses these findings as a measurement for the premise of the book. The questions say, "Men are uncomfortable with the notion of total committment." This measures what the individual's belief in men's views and not his views of himself. Therefor all men could disagree but because of a stereotype of men mark often. Than this stereotype becomes the premise of the chapter.

Well written but based on a poor survey...

I gave this 2 stars because there were some good ideas in there of things I could discuss with my husband. But the book is full of psychohersey based on humanistic theories and ideas. I read the whole book and then got rid of it. I've been married to my husband for 35 years and most of these "secrets" are things we have discussed many times through the years. Maybe my husband is just more open that other men, but I really didn't get much out it.

Its funny how people use the bible as a weapon against other people. This book and the others written by this author are nothing more than toilet paper packaged in a hardcover. If you hate your marriage now you sure will hate your marriage after reading the junk written by this author. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK OR ANY OTHER BY THIS AUTHOR!!!! It has been proven already that marriage councilling groups had to be put together across the nation to counter the dribble written by this author who obviously does his best to destroy a marriage. Women that read this book will ALWAYS look upon thier husbands with suspicion and ask the same aggravating and stupid questions over and over again.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!

TRASH ALERT!!!!

If there is a place in HELL for this author I hope its as hot as the devils rear end!!!