The Secrets to Stepfamily Success [Paperback]

Gloria Lintermans (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 29, 2011

THE SECRETS TO STEPFAMILY SUCCESS offers tools that can significantly lower the alarming 70% rate of step and blended family divorce, helping families evolve into highly nurturing, reliable refuges of warmth, safety, encouragement, strength, caring, and joy. Step and blended families have a unique dynamic with which couples must cope, along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. See how these families differ in up to sixty structural and dynamic ways from typical intact biological families—including consisting of two co-parenting homes and ex-spouses—and learn how to successfully recognize and manage these challenges. For most couples, trying to build a successful remarriage can mysteriously bring out their deepest personal fears, longings, shames, and hopes. The key to not only survival, but living this journey well, begins with discovering opportunities to heal and to succeed; it is not about blame or badness. With the right preparation and resources, a multi-home step or blended family can be a stable and solid foundation for co-parents and children.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Gloria Lintermans is the author of THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF: The Journey Through Loss to Life and Laughter, THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love, THE NEWLY DIVORCED BOOK OF PROTOCOL: How to Be Civil When You Hate Their Guts, and RETCO CHIC: A Guide to Fabulous Vintage and Designer Resale Shopping in North America & Online. Her articles have appeared in local and national magazines, and she is a retired newspaper columnist whose column has been syndicated in English and Spanish language newspapers worldwide.

Product Details

• Paperback: 301 pages
• Publisher: Llumina Press (April 29, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1605944181
• ISBN-13: 978-1605944180
• Product Dimensions: 7.5 x 0.7 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #437,949 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #67 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families

More About the Author

20+ million step and blended families exist in the U.S. and 2,100 new ones form every day!

For most couples, trying to build a successful remarriage can mysteriously bring out their deepest personal fears, longings, and hopes. The key to not only survival, but living this journey well, begins with discovering opportunities to heal and to succeed; it is not about blame or badness. With the right preparation and resources, a multi-home step or blended family can be a stable and solid foundation for co-parents and children.

THE SECRETS TO STEPFAMILY SUCCESS offers tools that can significantly lower the alarming rate of step and blended family divorce, helping families evolve into highly nurturing, reliable refuges of warmth, safety, encouragement, strength, caring, and joy. Step and blended families have a unique dynamic with which couples must cope, along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. See how these families differ in up to sixty structural and dynamic ways from typical intact biological families--including consisting of two co-parenting homes and ex-spouses―and learn how to successfully recognize and manage these challenges.

GLORIA LINTERMANS' Web Site:
http://glorialintermans.com

STEPFAMILY SOLUTIONS Blog:
http://stepfamilysolutions.blogspot.com

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Step in the Right Direction August 7, 2010

By C. E. Osborne

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Gloria's book pinpoints not only the obvious hazards facing stepfamilies (children and finances), but digs deep to expose and address the hidden anxieties and pain that so often undermine them.
Because stepfamilies are at high risk of re-divorce - about 75 percent fail - she offers valuable insights into why some break up and others survive. With warmth, humor and compassion, she offers tips on healthy remarriage, realistic expectations and win-win problem solving.
I wish Gloria's book had been available when I became stepmom to four children who were unexpectedly dropped into my honeymoon home years ago. Maybe it wouldn't have saved my marriage, but it would have saved me and the children considerable grief. This is a must-read for anyone considering, or in, a stepfamily. I can't think of a better gift book than this for any stepfamily, even one with no apparent problems.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone comtemplating remarriage or helping stepfamilies August 3, 2010

By Claudette Chenevert

Format:Paperback

"One of the hardest things about being a parent is becoming a stepparent. When I met my husband in 1990, I didn't think much about the difficulties of raising someone else's children. I thought that since I was a parent myself, we would get along so well. That's not what happened. Reality set in pretty fast.

"What I wasn't prepared for, was all the complexities of having other people involved in our families, all the decision making that needed to be done by more people than just my husband and I. Twenty years ago, stepfamily information wasn't as readily available as it is today. Internet was in it's infancy for those that knew about it and searching for information was a lot more complicated than today.

"Stepfamilies are now becoming more aware that they are not all the same and in order to succeed they need to understand what makes them different. And yet, many refuse to look and face the issues that can make or break relationships. This is apparent with the high rate of divorce in remarriages.

"Gloria's book The Secrets to Stepfamily Success: Revolutionary Tools to Create a Blended Family of Support and Respect provides the tools and skills to make stepfamilies more successful. She approaches the issues with a lot of open and positive insights that make changes possible, even in challenging relationships.

"Many stepfamilies have a hard time finding good resources all in one place. They often go here and there to look for what they need for their particular situation. Gloria brought all this information together. This book is more than just a collection of data on stepfamilies. It's about becoming empowered and hopeful that your family will succeed.

"This book starts with the importance of grieving the dissolution of the nuclear or traditional family, for if these issues are not resolved, they will affect any future relationships you will have and those of the children. Gloria also addresses the importance of defining your roles and rules within the home, dealing with money, sexual attractions between stepsiblings, setting boundaries and the issue of discipline. Each topic has great examples of what it looks like in a successful stepfamily and ideas of what to do. It also addresses the more than 60 ways stepfamilies are different from nuclear or traditional families, addressing why communication is often a big problem in relationships and how to address this.

"Gloria mentions that flexibility is key to a healthy marriage; `how can you be flexible if you do not know where you, your spouse and the children stand and what everyone needs right now.' (p. viii) This book really helps change the perspective many have that stepfamilies are second best or inferior to a perspective of hope and possibility. It's not just about step-moms or step-dads or their children, it's about the entire system, including grandparents as well as other extended families members. Gloria addresses in detail many of the issues stepfamilies refuse to look at such as grieving, money and sex. She demonstrates over and over again just how successful stepfamilies get there, in a way that encourages positive changes.

"The information here is a great resource for all, from clinical and social workers that help individuals and families, to teachers, pastors, and coaches as well as anyone contemplating entering in a relationship as a step-person. As a stepparent and a coach, this book will be highly recommended as a starting point for our work together.

"The book also provides a list of great resources to those seeking help at different stages of Step relationships I hope you enjoy this book and get as much out of it as I did."

Claudette Chenevert, Stepfamily Life Coach, AKA The Stepmom Coach, [...]

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Nailed July 29, 2010

By Bernard

Format:Paperback

No doubt about it, Lintermans has absolutely "nailed" this subject. Beyond her knowledge of the subject (some apparently from personal experiences) and the in-depth research she provides her readers, the author has literally created a "how to" and "how not to" text book for Step and Blended families. Anyone, yes anyone who is married or who has been divorced and thinking of re-marriage will glean invaluable lessons that can bring joy, avert catastrophes and above all give balance and meaning to "their" children.
All I can say, having been down that destructive road of divorce and then tried marriage again (this time with two sets of kids) is that our reading Lintermans' book has helped us to be aware of the many pit falls and to be a more intelligent, loving, forgiving and protective family.