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55 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Offers far more than it advertises, April 4, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Secrets You Keep from Yourself: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness (Hardcover)
What's that adage that you can't judge a book by its cover? Although I compliment the publisher for the cover's clean, contemporary design in sea-foam green and backlit-blue, this understated cover actually undersells this gem of a book. In fact, this is like three books in one. The first third of the book is a thorough investigation into how denial and self-defeating behavior really work, along with numerous ways to nip self-sabotage in the bud. For me, that in itself was worth the price of admission. The book's middle section is an inspiring and affirming motivational text that includes several excellent exercises which helped me clarify values, yearnings, and goals that matter most to me. This section showed numerous ways to live your highest dreams rather than settling for your limitations. The final part of the book is primarily a practical, nuts-and-bolts primer on effective problem-solving, offering a half-dozen no-nonsense methods to solve any personal problem. Any one of these sections could stand on its own as an entire book, yet the three "books" work together seamlessly. I found this book full of insights, though never dense or obscure. Quite a bargain for the buck.
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29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Definitely Worth Reading, April 2, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Secrets You Keep from Yourself: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness (Hardcover)
This book has the most insightful and freeing explanation of how to overcome fear and anxiety I have ever read. After reading this I feel that, for the first time, I have a handle on how fear tends to run my life. More importantly, I feel I can take back control of my life in crucial situations where I would have felt lost before. I also loved the metaphor about "Inner Characters," especially the Indulger, Persuader, Moviemaker, and Dramateer, which particularly spoke to me. This Inner Character metaphor has helped me spot even the most subtle ways I personally tend to drift into self-sabotage, and to spot it early enough so that I can change course. Using this metaphor has already kept me on several occasions from doing things that I would almost certainly have later looked back on with chagrin in one of those "What was I thinking?" moments. The book does a great job of showing how everybody gets in their own way at times and that self-sabotage is nothing to be ashamed of. This knowledge takes away the guilt-and-shame factor I sometimes feel when I "step in it." That frees me to move on and learn from my mistakes instead of risking repeating them cluelessly. Definitely worth reading.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Clear and thought-provoking, March 21, 2004
This review is from: Secrets You Keep from Yourself: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness (Hardcover)
This is an amazing book. Denial and self-sabotage would seem to be difficult topics to approach and define. How can one talk about what one may not be consciously aware of, after all? But this book tackles this subject in masterful fashion. By using both a light touch and reassuring manner, the author encouraged me to approach my own foibles (of which I am sometimes quite critical) with an open mind and heart, enabling me to learn about and accept myself in new ways and on a deeper level than most self-help books I have read. At the same time, the book takes complex phenomena such as defense mechanisms, the ego and self, and personality traits and, without sacrificing accuracy or psychological sophistication, shows in clear, precise, and plain-spoken ways how our innate human complexity can trip us up or work against us without our knowledge. Moreover, the book addresses these potentially-uncomfortable topics in a supportive, positive manner. Through features like identifying your "usual suspects" and the four "litmus test" signs of self-sabotage, this book stimulates powerful introspection into one's own self-sabotaging patterns, which is the necessary first step to positive change. I especially liked the book's chapter on the nine "Inner Characters" like the Moviemaker, Dr. No, and Mini-Me. These ingenious "character" portraits gave me entirely new ways to recognize and avoid my everyday ways of drifting into potentially troublesome habits.
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